SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is April 19th, 2024, 1:12am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October, 2019 One Week Challenge  ›  The October 2019 OWC Theme and Genre... Moderators: SAC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 ... » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    The October 2019 OWC Theme and Genre...  (currently 15841 views)
Kevin_L
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 4:01pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
143
Posts Per Day
0.02

Quoted from ChrisBodily
Just finished reading over my first draft. Pretty good for a first draft. I haven't really looked over typos and spell checking yet. The story flows quite well and I love my characters.

Obviously, there's plenty more work to do, but I'm off to a nice start.


What you just said, made me start having flashbacks. I posted something similar to what you said.  Which you've been around, this is for any newbies entering. Try not to make stupid mistakes, and don't assume as I did.  It's nothing like regular SS.  This is the first review my eyes landed on about my script.

Quoted Text

Logline has me worried, as this is supposed to be a comedy and we know a dog is going to die?    Well...again, let's see.

Title page very poor, as you didn't take the time or effort to delete the garbage on there.

You don't have your pages numbered, which is a problem, and you didn't take the time or effort to delete Page 6, which just looks sloppy.

OH boy - opening Slug has a time element of "CONTINUOUS"?  WTF?  Horrible beginning.

Writing style is very irritating right away.  You're using a smartass sort of vibe and it ain't working.  You've used, "we watch", "close on", and "we see", all in 1st 4 passages.

Wow, so many mistakes, spelling, punctuation, proper English.  Not good.

Sorry, but this is so poorly written, it's almost like I'm reading a pisser that is written as poorly as possible for comedic effect.

Terrible.  The tone is completely fucked.  The writing is awful.  This kind of thing actually pisses me off.

Story - weak and dumb

Characters - poor

Dialogue - awful

Prose - lowest possible score

Criteria - barely in a sewer.  In fact, it's so minimal, I'm not even going to give you the points for it, as this script doesn't warrant more than a 1.0 score, and that's pushing it.



I had heartburn for three days after reading that.   Take my advice, and you won't wake up
to one of these.   Just kidding, you probably will.   Lol.  
Logged
Private Message Reply: 75 - 465
PKCardinal
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 5:49pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Kansas
Posts
1447
Posts Per Day
0.63
Kevin,

Everybody gets the Jeff special. It's like going to Denny's. In the end, no matter what you order, you're getting some variation of the Grand Slam.

Not saying you didn't deserve it. You may have, you may not. I've gotten it both ways, deserved and undeserved. (Maybe I should say it this way: some I've agreed with, some I haven't.)

I'm just saying, you can't judge the OWC experience on a Dreamscale review.

But, I agree. If you're going to survive a OWC, you do need to have a plan for surviving his reviews. The first couple hit pretty hard. After that, you learn better where to categorize them.

PK


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 76 - 465
Anon
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
203
Posts Per Day
0.07
Kevin,

Only time I entered the same person trashed my script completely. Said I didn’t know how to write screenplays then argued with anyone that thought different. That script won.

Take whatever he says with a more than a pinch of salt. And if you want his approval - just write industry standard format with NO WRILIES!! 🙂
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 77 - 465
Kevin_L
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 6:43pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
143
Posts Per Day
0.02

Quoted from PKCardinal
Kevin,

Everybody gets the Jeff special. It's like going to Denny's. In the end, no matter what you order, you're getting some variation of the Grand Slam.

Not saying you didn't deserve it. You may have, you may not. I've gotten it both ways, deserved and undeserved. (Maybe I should say it this way: some I've agreed with, some I haven't.)

I'm just saying, you can't judge the OWC experience on a Dreamscale review.

But, I agree. If you're going to survive a OWC, you do need to have a plan for surviving his reviews. The first couple hit pretty hard. After that, you learn better where to categorize them.

PK

Hey Pk,

Mine was on the deserved side of things.  The main point I was trying to get across is just making sure you put your best foot forward. Which most people will.   I wasn't trying to scare anyone off or meaning it's some slaughter-fest. That's my fault for not elaborating better.   I posted that one cause
it touched on the really dumb mistakes I made.  My apologies if I made it sound that way.

All the best!

Logged
Private Message Reply: 78 - 465
Zack
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 6:54pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Erlanger, KY
Posts
4497
Posts Per Day
0.69
You don't have to agree with Jeff, but at least he's honest. Brutally honest. But Hell, that's what makes him funny.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 79 - 465
Kevin_L
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 7:14pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
143
Posts Per Day
0.02

Quoted from Anon
Kevin,

Only time I entered the same person trashed my script completely. Said I didn’t know how to write screenplays then argued with anyone that thought different. That script won.

Take whatever he says with a more than a pinch of salt. And if you want his approval - just write industry standard format with NO WRILIES!! 🙂


I can't say the same . Everyone agreed with him for the most part.  Lol.  
Logged
Private Message Reply: 80 - 465
Grandma Bear
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 7:46pm Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Swamp...
Posts
7961
Posts Per Day
1.35
Jeff has been around here a long time and may have read more scripts than anyone else. At least features. He used to be quite the reader! I think of Jeff kind of like that uncle that shows up at family gatherings, rough around the edges, tends to drink too much and stubborn as hell. Some family members wish he wouldn't come to these gatherings, but at the same time, everyone would miss him if he didn't show up for Christmas dinner.  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 81 - 465
FrankM
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 7:48pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Between Chair and Keyboard
Posts
1447
Posts Per Day
0.62

Quoted from Grandma Bear
Jeff has been around here a long time and may have read more scripts than anyone else. At least features. He used to be quite the reader! I think of Jeff kind of like that uncle that shows up at family gatherings, rough around the edges, tends to drink too much and stubborn as hell. Some family members wish he wouldn't come to these gatherings, but at the same time, everyone would miss him if he didn't show up for Christmas dinner.  


Why the hell is my Uncle Bruce calling himself Jeff now?


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 82 - 465
JEStaats
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 8:01pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


No sh*t, there I was....

Location
Tucson, AZ
Posts
1735
Posts Per Day
0.62
I've said it before and will say it again: I look forward to Jeff's review every single OWC. I don't always agree but have learned a lot from him. Let's not start a OWC without giving him the chance to piss someone off.

Come on, buddy. Push my buttons!
Logged
Private Message Reply: 83 - 465
Dreamscale
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 8:38pm Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from Anon
Kevin,

Only time I entered the same person trashed my script completely. Said I didn’t know how to write screenplays then argued with anyone that thought different. That script won.

Take whatever he says with a more than a pinch of salt. And if you want his approval - just write industry standard format with NO WRILIES!! 🙂


What OWC was that and which was your winning script?  I'd like to revisit it.

Logged
e-mail Reply: 84 - 465
Dreamscale
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 8:39pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Uncle Jeff.  Hey, that's better than Grandpa Jeff.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 85 - 465
ReneC
Posted: October 7th, 2019, 9:24pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1435
Posts Per Day
0.31
Fucking 12-page limit. I'm on page 6 and maybe a third of the way in. I'm going to have to gut this thing when I'm done.

As for Jeff's colourful reviews, I love them. One thing Uncle Jeff does well is weed out the thin-skinned. I don't agree with much of what he says, but he calls it as he sees it and his point of view is legitimate. He's part of the audience, and his voice should be heard, and if you can't handle what he says you're probably better off doing something else. Because I promise you, Uncle Jeff is not the worst you will hear.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 86 - 465
Anon
Posted: October 8th, 2019, 4:26am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
203
Posts Per Day
0.07

Quoted from Dreamscale


What OWC was that and which was your winning script?  I'd like to revisit it.



The script was called A BEAUTIFUL DAY

It was the no dialogue challenge.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 87 - 465
Anon
Posted: October 8th, 2019, 4:33am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
203
Posts Per Day
0.07

Quoted from ReneC
Fucking 12-page limit. I'm on page 6 and maybe a third of the way in. I'm going to have to gut this thing when I'm done.

As for Jeff's colourful reviews, I love them. One thing Uncle Jeff does well is weed out the thin-skinned. I don't agree with much of what he says, but he calls it as he sees it and his point of view is legitimate. He's part of the audience, and his voice should be heard, and if you can't handle what he says you're probably better off doing something else. Because I promise you, Uncle Jeff is not the worst you will hear.


I also like Jeff's reviews! Enjoy them even. I just think it's good to point out that you shouldn't let his candour knock your confidence - or affect you emotionally - like it obviously did Kevin. You should do what we do - enjoy the colourful reviews. And enjoy disagreeing with them! That's basically what forums are for
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 88 - 465
SAC
Posted: October 8th, 2019, 7:38am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3207
Posts Per Day
0.78

Quoted from ReneC
Fucking 12-page limit. I'm on page 6 and maybe a third of the way in. I'm going to have to gut this thing when I'm done.


I struggled briefly with the page limit. First it was 6-10, then 7-11, but in the end it was 12 page limit because I wanted to give everyone the space to explore their ideas even if it meant a bunch of longer scripts.



Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 89 - 465
 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 ... » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    October, 2019 One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006