Quoted from Baltis. "The wandering spirit of a young girl learns the powerful link between life, death and rebirth."

Powerful link, umm... i like the rest but Powerful link sound too extreme to me. I want something a bit simplier than the word "power" + ful.

The wandering spirit of a young girl soon learns that there is a connection between life, death and rebirth. <<< umm.... sound a lil decent to me.

Lilly doesn't know anything about it until someone tells her. But it doesn't require her to learn, though. I used the word "learn" for "acknowledge" or "realize." because it's nothing particular about it, she's already a spirit. I had a word realize on that before.

The wandering spirit of a young girl soon "realizes" that there is a connection between bla...

--before long realizes bla...

--gets told bla... <<< lolz.. sounds stupid.

Now you've got me pinned between the words "Powerful link" and "Connection."

When in doubt, always go with "parallel"...

"The wandering spirit of a young girl learns the parallel link between life, death and rebirth."


P.S. Will read Tommy later on tonight.

Parallel --

Umm.... it doesn't seem right. It doesn't really explain thouroughly... I mean elaborate the whole story.

You've got any other words... Give me a few more to pick, see which could fit in.

Thanks.

P.S. How was Tommy? Did you read it? I had this anonymous reader/writer to have a look at Tommy2(Lelia), the person thinks it's "disturbing" because I described the physical contact between Lelia and her soon-to-be-father could be mis-construded as sexual in nature. It was like... BAM! My head got poked to light. I realized a few actions in it do sound so as the person said. But I completedly thought of only a kid getting loved as a kid, hugging and kissing. Then they turn out to be misinterpreted into adultery instead. That's just given me a shock. Now I have to rewrite a few scenes before submit it. Thanks to SS's still on their catching moment of the past submissions otherwise, I would already have it submitted.

Off the record comment, I suspect this anonymous reader/writer may/could be one of SS's members. The person didn't mention about the first piece(Tommy) once given me his/her feedback. It seems that s/he has already read the piece(Tommy) also did mention about it's a part of a larger story. That's just leaving me a lot of "???."

Anyway, Bert! If you have come across this thread, can you please remove the lock from Tommy. I think everybody kind of calm before you locked it. And I know everybody already moved on. Those absurdity happen anywhere, they come and go, and now they've already gone. I could still use a few more feedbacks. Baltis hasn't yet given me his. Appreciate it.

"The wandering spirit of a young girl learns the (insert below word here) between life, death and rebirth."

Bond
Correlation
Relation
Union
Tie
Link
Association

--

I have read Tommy, but wasn't about to post any thoughts on it due to the situation on the thread -- Wouldn't have mattered what I wrote or said.

If the thread opens back up I'll be glad to post my thoughts on it.

Are you kidding me?!!!

You're not gonna bring it here, are you? Can you please remove it, Baltis? No one's gonna leave the site. No one's gona get banned. You've got the A option, thread locked, that's it. Please do not try to dig it back up. burry it. Everybody snapped the fingers and moved on.

It was only a storm. Now it passed.

Get back to normal. Put the pressure on the writing.

Thank you!!!

People do get banned from here... I'm proof of that.  3 times.  I'll send you my thoughts on your script in pm.

Awsome... I think the lock has been removed from the thread(tommy). You can post there now.

Thanks, Bert. Much aprreciated.

This is going to be a bad news to some and of course, good news to few. Yes! It's the same news.

There won't be a Visit2.0.

The reason is because I can't seem to finish it in short. The ideas keep stacking up on me and I have to keep writing. Now I'm on page 35 and still not even closed to the part that I want to end. So, I decide to keep on going until I finish it in a feature. I'll break apart the original Visit and fit them all in the one I am writing rightnow to complete the story.

The title will be changed to "The Connection Part 1" and "The Connection Part 2." The Part 2 is the one that I already have-- The adult version(if you have read the thread). I will introduce every single character that I already have in the Part 2 into the Part 1. But not thoroughly, though. I just want to give the idea as a link to the Part 2 that is all. If you know what I mean.

The idea of turning it into the feature is because some readers here didn't seem to understand the whole story is all about after they hav read it. So, I kind of have to write from the beginning, elaborate it in detail to have it made more sense out of the story. Yeap! Thanks to the critics otherwise the story will be still lack of senses.

Also, a slight news about Tommy. Please refer to Tommy thread. Thanks.

-JR-