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Numbers by Anthony Cawood (Anthony Cawood) writing as Mr. Marconi - Short, Horror - A plucky bunch of nerds get more than they bargained for when they uncover an ancient evil and must fight for their lives as midnight approaches on Halloween night. 9 pages - pdf format
Hmm, this is pretty much paint by the numbers. No pun intended -OK, maybe a little.
The story was interesting, albeit - a bit familiar. That's not a knock or anything. There were a few lines of dialogue that I liked very much. Luv the writing, nice, lean, and sparse. Admittedly, I was hoping for a grab you by the throat ending, but hey -- overall I dug it. Not gonna nitpick. Best of Irish luck! -A
This reminded me of college. We disengaged the belt drive on our turntable and played Stairway to Heaven backwards. We heard, Natash, Natash, Satan is our savior many times. We stopped it pretty quick. Scared the bejeebers out of us.
Anyway, I thought this was really clever and a lot of fun. Not surprised the girl who never speaks turns out to be the smartest and saves them all, while the guys screaming looneys.
Ed Wood: Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something.
Descriptions & writing are good, but the numbers/radio thing made my eyes glaze over, and I did not understand what happened with the numbers at the end. Did they defeat it and didn't seem like a curse? Anyway, I like the premise of the group of kids mucking around with a ham radio, but maybe they hear a woman being tortured or something would have been more engrossing. Okay, I'll shut up.
An evil radio? So evil that it spawned both Covid AND Trump? LOL - now there's a cursed noun! Also had vibes of the old "Paul is dead" craze when playing a Beatles' record backward. Witty and fun and shows definite comedic and creative ability. I give it an "A" for entertainment value - thanks for sharing!
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This is a wonderful, and very clever story, BUT we can't appreciate it totally because one of the most important characters can't be heard: THE CHANT and all of the sound design.
We have to use our imagination to process the CHANT, which the writer clearly hears in their head as a part of the creative process.
What I also really enjoyed about this story is that there's a riddle/challenge/mystery we instinctively participate in trying to solve. I was dumber than a third grader in my attempt.
The only way this story could ever be pitched to a producer is with a sound engineer at the writer's side!
Fortunately, we all had a chance to at least experience it on paper. Nicely done.
P.S. The "brotherhood of the electronics" reminds me of a Woody Allen bit. He's in his kitchen in the morning and nothing works; not the toaster, coffee maker, stove, etc. And, he curses and knocks them around. When he gets in his apartment elevator to go downstairs and the doors close, the elevator says: "So you'r the prick who was kicking around the appliances!"
Good effort here. You did a nice job keeping me engaged and turning pages, so the set up worked for me. Things got dicey when the radio started talking. I felt it should have been more ominous and the kids more serious and scared, which I didnít get. Thatís when it lost me. I have no issue with how they solved the curse, but you could have really upped the creep factor here a bunch and didnít do so, and thatís where it loses steam. Overall, good effort!