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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    September, 2020 One Week Challenge  ›  Who Wrote What & Writers' Choice - September, 2020 Moderators: LC
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  Author    Who Wrote What & Writers' Choice - September, 2020  (currently 651 views)
LC
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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Well, it was a close one... but the Killer Dialogue, September Writer's Choice champ is: none other than Dave Lambertson with:

Score - 4 - Unsaid by David C Lambertson (eldave1) writing as Anonymous - Are things truly better left unsaid?
Prompt: You're not the one for me. - Short, Drama

Tied for second place, James and Anthony :

Score - 3.45 - Howard's Jewelry and Loan by James Williams (jwent668 writing as Blank - A boxer pays a visit to his loan shark after being told he has exactly one hour to settle his outstanding debt.
Prompt: You have exactly one hour - Short, Crime

Score - 3.45 - Connected by Anthony Cawood (AnthonyCawood) writing as Isaac Asimov - What if the point of singularity has already happened and we just don't know about it.
Prompt: You have exactly one hour. - Short, Sci Fi


One for the girls... Taking up third place, good on you, Marnie!

Score - 3.3 - You Can't Force Love by Marnie Mitchell (mmmarnie) writing as Omg Stfu - In search of love, a determined man receives help from a female friend.
Prompt: You're not the one for me. - Short, Rom Com

In fourth spot, nice one, Ben!

Score - 3.25 - …For Dummies by Ben Clifford (AlsoBen) writing as Dr. Steven Brule - A couple planning a special evening for their anniversary have exactly one hour until their guest of honor arrives.
Prompt: You have exactly one hour. - Short, Rom Com

Some really close scores followed, so in no particular order: -

The Night Siren by John Staats (JEStaats) writing as A True Man's Capote - A man comes to the aid of a desperate woman in need.
Prompt: A woman on a ledge. - Short, Crime

Caller Unknown by Warren Duncan (Warren) writing as Anonymous - An emergency call center attendant attempts to talk a young woman off the ledge as she asks him increasingly personal questions.
Prompt: Woman on a ledge. - Short, Drama

Spiro by Rob Herzog (Rob) writing as Buster Scruggs - Two loudmouth gangsters die slowly in a room.
Prompt: Blood everywhere - Short, Crime

Temptation by Owen Herity (Geezis) writing as Max Pipsy - A man and woman debate the fate of the world in a locked room.
Prompt: Things are not what they seem. - Short, Sci Fi

Huberis by Mark Renshaw (markrenshaw) writing as Mean Muddy Funster - A notorious gang leader's self-important is taken down a peg or two when circumstances force him to take a trip in an Uber and he encounters a quirky driver who meticulously obeys the sat nav instructions.
Prompt: I just make up these rules, I have no control over them. - Short, Drama

Clean Slate by Claudio Saez (Claudio) writing as Also Blank - Two brothers catch-up after one of them goes to rehab.
Prompt: It's a dead end. What now? - Short, Drama

Unlawful Duties by Mark Moore (Irisheyes) writing as Bette Davis - Two dirty cops investigate a Hobo in an alley at what cost?
Prompt: It's a dead end. What now? - Short, Thriller

A Very Bad Date by Joe Garza (SPQR) writing as Rocky Custer - A guy's plan to philanderize with his secretary goes awry when his wife shows up -- and then things get much worse.
Prompt: Dead person in a room. - Short, Crime

Safety by Rene Claveau (ReneC) writing as Mr. Bond - When a strange package appears at the door, a couple are at odds about what to do with it.
Prompt: A mysterious parcel is delivered to your house. - Short, Sci Fi

First Call by Mark Dykshoorn (MarkD) writing as Harry Boesch - A rookie police detective experiences his first crime scene investigation with a seasoned partner.
Prompt: Dead person in a room. - Short, Crime


Congrats to Robwith Spiro- a query on this one already. Hope you'll be back for the next OWC.

And special thanks to Greg, Faisal, Jeff, Ghostwriters, Kham, Yuvraj, and anyone else (apologies if I missed you) for contributing to the reading and reviews even though you didn't enter.

Was a fun challenge. Thanks to all for entering.



Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  September 30th, 2020, 1:55pm
It was Rob who got the query, not Claudio.  Error entirely mine.
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 9:35pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats Dave, well done mate.

And to James and all the other talented writers on here.

Thanks to Libby of course too.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Claudio
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 9:50pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats! Happy to see one of my favorite entries win~
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JEStaats
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 9:56pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats, Dave. Some fine placing on the podiums.

I'll admit that I'm pretty bummed Night Siren didn't score better with 100% positive comments but that's what I get for having hopes and dreams. Yeah, I'm a bit shell shocked.
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_ghostwriters
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 9:57pm Report to Moderator
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Big congrats to Dave... and to everyone else for a job well done.

A huge congratulations to Don and  Libby!


"When I dive... I go deep, only to surface the hub when necessary."

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eldave1
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 9:58pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks all. Appreciated


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 10:07pm Report to Moderator
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Yours is a terrific script, John. Night Siren Was one of my top picks. I agree on the Sin City, Love Death and Robots type graphic style.


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Warren
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 10:17pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats, Dave, well deserved and not surprising. You are the master of dialogue.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

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Shaka Comic Book

All Things Shaka
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jwent6688
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 10:41pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Congrats, Dave! It's a great script.

Thanks to Libby and Don for putting this one together. It was fun. Lightning fast reads with all that white on the page.

James


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eldave1
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 10:50pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks guys. A lot of good scripts in this one.

Thanks Libby and Don
One if my favorite OWCs.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Don
Posted: September 27th, 2020, 11:00pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from eldave1
Thanks all. Appreciated


Dave,

If you would PM me an address where one might receive a standard business envelope about the size and weight and thickness of a very, very detailed, six to eight page, single spaced letter detailing all the reasons you should not be a screenwriter (with footnotes).

Thanks,

Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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Fais85
Posted: September 28th, 2020, 2:48am Report to Moderator
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Yay!

Congratulations, Dave! Very well deserved. Unsaid was a brilliant story.

Congratulations, James! Yours was indeed a well-crafted piece of screenwriting.

Congrats, Anthony, Marnie, Ben, and all the writers who entered this OWC. Great work!

Special mention to John. "The Night Siren" was the best for me (no disrespect to any other script intended).
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: September 28th, 2020, 5:30am Report to Moderator
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Well done Dave, Anthony,  James and Marnie! Superb entries all around.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Geezis
Posted: September 28th, 2020, 5:42am Report to Moderator
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Congratulations Dave, very well done. Have to admit I thought your entry was the strongest, just . There were some stories in the challenge I really enjoyed.
Mucho kudos to everyone who entered, I thought it was a varied and interesting exercise with some great dialogue and unusual visuals (a Willy Wonka statue made of testicles).
Here’s to the next one.

Well done everyone.  


If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
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khamanna
Posted: September 28th, 2020, 9:24am Report to Moderator
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This was a different OWC, an excellent one. And every script that I read stood out. Just a big wow for all. And congrats to all.
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