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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Honey Mustard - feature Moderators: bert
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  Author    Honey Mustard - feature  (currently 7565 views)
spesh2k
Posted: May 5th, 2020, 5:17pm Report to Moderator
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All right, take 5... the latest draft has been updated for any new readers, so you won't have to fish through a bunch of comments on this thread to find the link I posted.

Thanks to everyone who've read so far and offered notes... it's helped immensely in shaping this into the script I want it to be.

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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eldave1
Posted: May 5th, 2020, 5:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from spesh2k
All right, take 5... the latest draft has been updated for any new readers, so you won't have to fish through a bunch of comments on this thread to find the link I posted.

Thanks to everyone who've read so far and offered notes... it's helped immensely in shaping this into the script I want it to be.

-- Michael


Curious as to the next steps in your process.  I think you pretty much got the script in the can - do you send query letters out, contests - you repped? i.e., what steps do you take after you're done.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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spesh2k
Posted: May 5th, 2020, 6:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
Curious as to the next steps in your process.  I think you pretty much got the script in the can - do you send query letters out, contests - you repped? i.e., what steps do you take after you're done.


Not really sure. I never was a contest kinda guy, I submitted one short that made top 10 in the 13horror.com contest a few years back, but it just never was my thing, really. I was considering some horror competitions, but I've been out of work due to this lock down here in NYC, so I can't afford to shell out the $.

I have been sending query letters here and there, but I'll pick up the pace a little bit once I feel a little more comfortable with the script. So far, I've only sent out like 5 queries and had one script request.

Unfortunately, I am not repped. I did have representation way back when, but it didn't really help much. I did have a script optioned while repped, but the company had already contacted me before I was signed. I wrote other scripts, but my agent would only read like the first 5 pages or so and kinda dismiss it -- one of those scripts, I later sold for a somewhat decent amount after I decided to part ways w/ said rep.

So, yeah, I'm not really sure what's next, your guess is as good as mine. I was never a great pitcher. And the two movies I got made were kinda dumb luck -- with The Suicide Theory, which I posted on here, I just received a lot emails from filmmakers, so I didn't really have to do much. Everyone pretty much came to me with that one. Though it did make its rounds, being read by some big actors along the way, with one decent name attached (Toby Kebbell), but due to scheduling conflicts, we couldn't work with him. Several of the scripts that I've either sold or optioned were found through here and other sites, pretty much, and I didn't really have to pitch often. My 2nd movie "Rage", I was hired to write due to my Australian ties (both movies are Aussie) w/ my previous movie. And both movies are super, super indie, so I don't exactly have producers kicking down my door. Even with Suicide Theory hitting theaters, video on demand and Netflix, nothing much really came of it.

So, I guess the next step is learning how to pitch and get the script into the right hands, somehow without spending any money in the mean time. Just gonna query the shit outta production and management companies that are known for these kind of movies, actors and filmmakers, etc that accept unsolicited material and try to somehow find a way to get the script through to companies that don't accept unsolicited material (trying to find ways to be a little more creative w/ that one).

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2


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spesh2k  -  May 5th, 2020, 6:32pm
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eldave1
Posted: May 5th, 2020, 6:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from spesh2k


Not really sure. I never was a contest kinda guy, I had one short that made top 10 in the 13horror.com contest a few years back, but it just never was my thing, really. I was considering some horror competitions, but I've been out of work due to this lock down here in NYC, so I can't afford to shell out the $.

I have been sending query letters here and there, but I'll pick up the pace a little bit once I feel a little more comfortable with the script. So far, I've only sent out like 5 queries and had one script request.

Unfortunately, I am not repped. I did have representation way back when, but it didn't really help much. I did have a script optioned while repped, but the company had already contacted me before I was signed. I wrote other scripts, but my agent would only read like the first 5 pages or so and kinda dismiss it -- one of those scripts, I later sold for a somewhat decent amount after I decided to part ways w/ said rep.

So, yeah, I'm not really sure what's next, your guess is as good as mine. I was never a great pitcher. And the two movies I got made were kinda dumb luck -- with The Suicide Theory, which I posted on here, I just received a lot emails from filmmakers, so I didn't really have to do much. Everyone pretty much came to me with that one. Though it did make its rounds, being read by some big actors along the way, with one decent name attached (Toby Kebbell), but due to scheduling conflicts, we couldn't work with him. Several of the scripts that I've either sold or optioned were found through here and other sites, pretty much, and I didn't really have to pitch often. My 2nd movie "Rage", I was hired to write due to my Australian ties (both movies are Aussie) w/ my previous movie.

So, I guess the next step is learning how to pitch and get the script into the right hands, somehow without spending any money in the mean time. Just gonna query the shit outta production and management companies that are known for these kind of movies, actors and filmmakers, etc that accept unsolicited material and try to somehow find a way to get the script through to companies that don't accept unsolicited material (trying to find ways to be a little more creative w/ that one).

-- Michael



Hey, getting one request out of five queries is a pretty good hit rate. I think that is a promising start.

Not sure if you would be interested or not, but the Script Lab is currently running a free contest (limited to one script). That link is here:

https://thescriptlab.com/free-screenplay-contest/

The business end of this thing is a grind and the part I hate. I've met with agents a couple of times (hated the experience), never been officially repped and not even sure what the value is.   Sold some shorts, had two features go into option and fall out of option twice (that's probably par for the course).  

I would certainly re-farm those filmmakers that were interested in the Suicide Theory.

Regardless - best of luck with it.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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spesh2k
Posted: May 5th, 2020, 6:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
https://thescriptlab.com/free-screenplay-contest/

The business end of this thing is a grind and the part I hate. I've met with agents a couple of times (hated the experience), never been officially repped and not even sure what the value is.   Sold some shorts, had two features go into option and fall out of option twice (that's probably par for the course).


Yeah, I did enter that one a while ago, like 4 drafts ago. Not putting much hope into that one, though. As for the business end, yeah, it sucks balls. I'd see more value in signing w/ a manager over an agent, they seem to guide you a little better unless your agent's w/ WME or CAA or somebody.


Quoted Text
I would certainly re-farm those filmmakers that were interested in the Suicide Theory.


Ah man, I wrote Suicide Theory in 2008, so it took 7 years before it got released in theaters. Not sure if any of them would remember me after 12 years.


Quoted Text
Regardless - best of luck with it.


Thanks, man.

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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eldave1
Posted: May 14th, 2020, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
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Michael: For what it's worth, this was an Inktip free lead I got in the email.


Quoted Text
1) Seeking Horror Scripts (Lead 6075)
We are looking for completed, feature-length, contemporary horror scripts. We are not reading material with zombies, vampires, or werewolves, nor are we considering stories requiring child actors (e.g. no Stranger Things-type stories) or which are set in a secluded cabin or mansion or farmhouse. What we need are modern themes and unique concepts, ideally with a bit of humor.

Budget will not exceed $10 million. WGA and non-WGA writers may submit.

To find out about this company AND submit to this lead:

1) Go to https://www.inktip.com/leads/

2) Copy/Paste this code: rte8kt6jtu


Seems to me like Honey Mustard would be a fit.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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spesh2k
Posted: May 14th, 2020, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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Oh, wow, thanks man!

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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eldave1
Posted: May 14th, 2020, 9:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from spesh2k
Oh, wow, thanks man!

-- Michael


My pleasure


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Yuvraj
Posted: May 20th, 2020, 12:40pm Report to Moderator
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Yo, Michael,

First feature of yours I read.

Gotta say this, I really dig your writing style. It seems to me pretty practical. It also feels like there was a voice of yours in the entirety of the script which shouted out for attention. There are pretty first hand notions specially in the scenes taking place in resturant( with Stella), that gives the touch of writer's own experience. Maybe I'm wrong on this but while reading the script, this was the fact that glued me and propelled me to read keenly.

Around like page sixty-nine, the script lost some steam but then it had Buford, the character I dug for and it saved the day for me.  

As the script moved forward, Stella became more lunatic which in a way makes sense. The confrontation of Stella and Buford had tense in it and it held my attention. But I wish it went a bit longer rather than her been freeing herself from the cuffs while Buford lingering on his options. It was a classical scene of a captor and his captive.  

Just a personal rampage here, the most hated characters for me were Donnie and Bo. Fucking scumbags. Their interaction with Stella was disgusting. Don't take it in a wrong way, I just like ranting on characters I hate.
  
Additionally, I don't feel this is to be a Horror script. This tilts more towards Revenge Drama. I think you meant to categorize this as a Horror in sense of " lives of people intertwined in the most horrid way possible". I get that.

Lastly, the title. The opening scene clarifies why the script is named Honey Mustard, Oscar embowls Stella with it. Buford also wants honey mustard, he bloody can't eat his chicken fingers without it.. Donnie delays in giving honey mustard and the storm ensues. Can't imagine Honey Mustard can shatter lives.

Maybe somewhat of this makes any sense. Maybe not. Who knows....

Good luck.


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spesh2k
Posted: May 20th, 2020, 12:57pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Yuvraj,

Thanks for taking the time to check this out! Really appreciate your comments! Glad you liked the Buford character. And I'm glad you hated Donnie & Bo -- not only did I not want people to care about them if they died, I kinda wanted people to want them to die.

All makes sense and I'll be looking back to this for any future rewrites, appreciate the notes. Thanks again for checking it out!

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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Yuvraj
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Quoted from spesh2k
Hey Yuvraj,

Thanks for taking the time to check this out! Really appreciate your comments! Glad you liked the Buford character. And I'm glad you hated Donnie & Bo -- not only did I not want people to care about them if they died, I kinda wanted people to want them to die.

All makes sense and I'll be looking back to this for any future rewrites, appreciate the notes. Thanks again for checking it out!

-- Michael


No problem.

This was worth the time. Enjoyed reading.

Just a small request, if you are willing, wanted to read ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD. Couldn't find it. If you have it, do you mind sharing it? Or maybe any other known/famous script that you highly recommend?

Just a little request that's all.



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eldave1
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Quoted from Yuvraj


No problem.

This was worth the time. Enjoyed reading.

Just a small request, if you are willing, wanted to read ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD. Couldn't find it. If you have it, do you mind sharing it? Or maybe any other known/famous script that you highly recommend?

Just a little request that's all.


That script is not available. However, all of the other Oscar-nominated scripts from 2019 can be seen here:

https://gointothestory.blcklst.com/download-2020-oscar-nominated-screenplays-a5a5c5c9dc17

If you are looking for a Tarintino script, Inglorious Basterds can be seen here:

https://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Inglourious-Basterds.html


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Yuvraj
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Quoted from eldave1


That script is not available. However, all of the other Oscar-nominated scripts from 2019 can be seen here:

https://gointothestory.blcklst.com/download-2020-oscar-nominated-screenplays-a5a5c5c9dc17

If you are looking for a Tarintino script, Inglorious Basterds can be seen here:

https://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Inglourious-Basterds.html


Thanks Dave.

I read IB last month. Pretty good but too talky. It's Tarantino style I know.

Currently, floating with JOJO RABBIT.

Thanks again.


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spesh2k
Posted: May 20th, 2020, 1:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
No problem.

This was worth the time. Enjoyed reading.

Just a small request, if you are willing, wanted to read ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD. Couldn't find it. If you have it, do you mind sharing it? Or maybe any other known/famous script that you highly recommend?

Just a little request that's all.


I see Dave provided you with some links to other Tarantino scripts. Though it's nice to read everything, I wouldn't recommend emulating his style of scriptwriting.

Personally, I always recommend Rian Johnson's screenplays (Looper, Brick, Knives Out). Very crisp, clean and easy to read, no wasted words. Tarantino's scripts read more like plays to me. Especially Reservoir Dogs, which is pretty much formatted like a stage play. And he comes from an older school generation of writers -- screenplays by Tony Gilroy, the Coen Brothers, etc, they all contain a lot of no-nos for younger writers still learning the craft. While still written nicely, but they also often direct their own work and are already established. If a no-name writer such as myself submitted screenplays written the way those scripts are written, it might be harder to get a fair read.

https://www.rian-johnson.com/screenplays

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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Yuvraj
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Quoted from spesh2k


I see Dave provided you with some links to other Tarantino scripts. Though it's nice to read everything, I wouldn't recommend emulating his style of scriptwriting.

Personally, I always recommend Rian Johnson's screenplays (Looper, Brick, Knives Out). Very crisp, clean and easy to read, no wasted words. Tarantino's scripts read more like plays to me. Especially Reservoir Dogs, which is pretty much formatted like a stage play. And he comes from an older school generation of writers -- screenplays by Tony Gilroy, the Coen Brothers, etc, they all contain a lot of no-nos for younger writers still learning the craft. While still written nicely, but they also often direct their own work and are already established. If a no-name writer such as myself submitted screenplays written the way those scripts are written, it might be harder to get a fair read.

https://www.rian-johnson.com/screenplays

-- Michael


Thanks brother.  Totally understand what you say.

I will shift my gears to KNIVES OUT after reading JOJO RABBIT( any say on this one?).

You'll be a known writer brother, pretty sure of that. That's what your script says, not me.

Thanks once again.



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