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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The August Challenge  ›  August/September Character Discussion Moderators: Scar Tissue Films
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  Author    August/September Character Discussion  (currently 4095 views)
khamanna
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 11:47am Report to Moderator
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What’s the circa here? I’m not asking about the year, but this is to know how many years have passed since the fog landed? Are u going to start from the beginning or plunge your audience into the middle of how the things are “now”, then little by little explaining how this and that happened?
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hawkeye
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:00pm Report to Moderator
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One thing I would suggest with people going crazy with the fog is that it doesn't become "Birdbox", which was a bit silly and was never really explained in any detail.

Kham, my thought would be that we're not looking backward, but we're experiencing things as the characters are experiencing them.  Sort of a "War of the Worlds" type experience.


My web site and scripts can be found here:

Gary's web site
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Nomad
It's it too cliche to have the sounds of crows signify death?  
There need to be some leitmotifs that the audience can hook on to.

Crows=death
Wind through the trees=safety
Absolute silence=danger


I think it's fine, as long as we don't over use it.

Why is wind through the trees safe, by the way?
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ReneC
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:08pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Nomad
It's it too cliche to have the sounds of crows signify death?  
There need to be some leitmotifs that the audience can hook on to.

Crows=death
Wind through the trees=safety
Absolute silence=danger


Crows are carrion eaters, it's just natural. They don't always mean death, they can warn of bears or warn of bad weather coming. We see them so often around death because it's dramatic. It's great foreshadowing if we hear them before we see them too, it builds suspense.

Symbolism is powerful. We can't ignore it, but it's good to be aware of the tropes and the cliches.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
What’s the circa here? I’m not asking about the year, but this is to know how many years have passed since the fog landed? Are u going to start from the beginning or plunge your audience into the middle of how the things are “now”, then little by little explaining how this and that happened?


We're starting at the moment the fog appears and following it through, experiencing it as it happens.
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Nomad
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films

Why is wind through the trees safe, by the way?


1.  It's another side of nature that isn't causing people to lose their minds, or kill, or just in general to freak out.

2.  It's a sound.  

I don't know about you, but I have a difficult time feeling anything but relaxed
and safe when I hear the breeze whisper through the pine trees or hear the gentle creak of the trunk as it sways back and forth.

Winds of change, and all.


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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hawkeye
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:37pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, here's something that just came to me.

Let's assume for now that the fog doesn't have any effect (yet) on telecommunications.  So television and radio stations can still communicate.  Satellites I think can still communicate will ground operations even in fog if I'm not mistaken.  This may, however be a condition so dense that it eventually breaks down communications.

But if not, then we can easily have our "narrators" in the form of radio and television stations broadcasting on a continuous loop reporting on developments as they come in.  People out in the suburbs, in the city, and from all over, can act as "reporters" using FaceTime or Skype on their phones or just by calling in to the station.  We're getting reports in live time from all over. Some are panicked.  Some are confused.  Maybe one of the news anchors suggests to someone calling in that they venture out into the fog and report on what they can see (or not see), and as that citizen goes out, we hear the phone crackling and breaking up and then just goes dead.  

Another scenario might be in a dilapidated home where the fog is actually seeping into the home itself, but instead of dissipating, it continues to linger and fill up the home.  The residents only option is to try and wait it out or try to escape.  They leave in their car, but we don't know what happens to them.

Soon soldiers, police, and other first responders are going out into the fog in biohazard suits.  Now what if one of them actually returns with no effects (at least not immediately)?  Maybe this is someone who descends into madness because he's actually seen something in the fog but couldn't access it -- perhaps the way the others who went in did?

Here is my thought on what the fog could lead to -- a portal into a new world.  Whether that world is better or worse is up to debate. Maybe we won't know until we explore it further.  But there's a myriad of stories that could be told there.


My web site and scripts can be found here:

Gary's web site
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PKCardinal
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 12:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quick question regarding the jail release: What is our man's motivation for releasing the prisoners? Why does their predicament impact him so much that this loner is spurred into action?

Not saying he wouldn't do it. Just saying we need to know exactly why.

You mention he takes hearing the news of the prison as a sign. What's the specific connection in his mind?

I still think we need a hard reason (not spiritual), here are a few possibilities:

Possible reasons:

1. Disturbed by the nature of the attack on his house, he decides he needs a controllable clan to protect him. He thinks the prisoners are simpletons that he can manipulate.

2. An act of revenge. Again, spurred by the attack on his house, the prison is in the town from where the attack originated. It's his answer to their cruelty. He's unleashing hell on them.

3. He knows someone in the prison. Can't release one without releasing them all. This person obviously must be important to him. And, it opens up a storyline where he loses that person - which could play into a deteriorating mindset.

4. It's a return to his roots. Either he once was a prison guard... he's returning to where he last had control. Or, he once was a prisoner. He's returning to recapture his sense of freedom. By releasing the prisoners, he gains some sort of release himself.  (Those are both emotional needs, which I think would need to be connected to an overt need. For example, he needs help from an old friend.)


The act can still be spiritual... the fog has led him to this decision ("God/The Fog has a plan, and I'm part of it."), but the act needs to be grounded in a real human/emotional need.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 1:02pm Report to Moderator
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I like 3. Knows someone in the prison. Brother perhaps.

But I was simply thinking that  we'd  hear him explain it on tape.

He doesn't want anyone hiding away in their little places away from the Fog, hiding from reality etc

As long as we can make the reason seem important to him, it'll work.
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Nomad
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 1:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
Quick question regarding the jail release: What is our man's motivation for releasing the prisoners? Why does their predicament impact him so much that this loner is spurred into action?


He needs to sacrifice more blood to the fog and the prisoners will help him do it.  

When he goes to the prison to recruit his army, he brings a gas can with him.  All of the prisoners are still locked in their cells.  He gives a convincing speech that sways most of the prisoners, but a really nasty prisoner gives him a hard time and says that the prisoners follow him only.

The madman calmly walks over with the gas can, douses the nasty guy, and sets him on fire.

"Does anyone else want to follow him?"

The madman has to be very smart if he's not physically able to handle himself.  He has to manipulate people to do his manual labor and physical protection.

He needs a dumb bodyguard.  Or we make him physically tough also.  

It might be easier to make him strong and smart. That would make him formidable.


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 1:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from hawkeye
Okay, here's something that just came to me.

Let's assume for now that the fog doesn't have any effect (yet) on telecommunications.  So television and radio stations can still communicate.  Satellites I think can still communicate will ground operations even in fog if I'm not mistaken.  This may, however be a condition so dense that it eventually breaks down communications.

But if not, then we can easily have our "narrators" in the form of radio and television stations broadcasting on a continuous loop reporting on developments as they come in.  People out in the suburbs, in the city, and from all over, can act as "reporters" using FaceTime or Skype on their phones or just by calling in to the station.  We're getting reports in live time from all over. Some are panicked.  Some are confused.  Maybe one of the news anchors suggests to someone calling in that they venture out into the fog and report on what they can see (or not see), and as that citizen goes out, we hear the phone crackling and breaking up and then just goes dead.  

Another scenario might be in a dilapidated home where the fog is actually seeping into the home itself, but instead of dissipating, it continues to linger and fill up the home.  The residents only option is to try and wait it out or try to escape.  They leave in their car, but we don't know what happens to them.

Soon soldiers, police, and other first responders are going out into the fog in biohazard suits.  Now what if one of them actually returns with no effects (at least not immediately)?  Maybe this is someone who descends into madness because he's actually seen something in the fog but couldn't access it -- perhaps the way the others who went in did?

Here is my thought on what the fog could lead to -- a portal into a new world.  Whether that world is better or worse is up to debate. Maybe we won't know until we explore it further.  But there's a myriad of stories that could be told there.


I like your work, Gary.

You can feel the tension already. Some poor girl creeping out into the fog and describing everything they see. It's also a good way to introduce the town's minor characters.

I had an idea myself about a local radio station guy. Very nice man, but lonely. The sort of type you imagine doing the times when only those awake in the middle of the night tune in.

Anyway, he becomes a bit of a 'Voice of Hope'. He reassures people and plays nice music for them (it'd have to be indendent music).


I considered an arc for him where he slowly starts breaking down. Saying increasingly personal things about his life or whatever. He's still hopeful, but his optimism very gradually starts to fade.

Then I imagined he'd eventually kill himself live on air. After wishing everyone well. Over the top of his favourite record. And that would be the poignant end to one episode.

Anyway, maybe it could be the same guy.. A kind of local hub.
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PKCardinal
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 1:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films



Then I imagined he'd eventually kill himself live on air. After wishing everyone well. Over the top of his favourite record. And that would be the poignant end to one episode.



Why does this feel familiar to me? I can't put my finger on it.

Somebody help me out. I feel like someone did that in a short here sometime recently. (Checking my files... did I write that sometime in the past? Nope.)

Ugh... I know I've seen it.

Hawkeye... did you do this?

Gonna drive me crazy until I figure it out.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 2:02pm Report to Moderator
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Ha, funny.

I tried to Google it, to see if it was in a film.

Found this, which I thought was vaguely interesting.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloomy_Sunday
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hawkeye
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 2:08pm Report to Moderator
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Twas not me.  Although when I was in radio, I often thought about how that would be a ratings booster. but then quickly dismissed it when I realized it would be a one time thing.


My web site and scripts can be found here:

Gary's web site
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PKCardinal
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 2:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Ha, funny.

I tried to Google it, to see if it was in a film.

Found this, which I thought was vaguely interesting.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloomy_Sunday


Yikes! That sounds like the suicide field idea that someone proposed earlier... with the music playing.

About the radio idea... I'm certain it was on this site. A woman listening to her favorite DJ. He sounds like he's going to commit suicide on the air... or we're led to believe that... She calls in... talks to him. I can't remember exactly. Something about his wife dying. There was a twist... dangit... going CRAZY here as random details pop into my head. There might have been a Bible involved.

HELP!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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