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A word of caution about the opening though. If Jane is our main character, the current opening doesn't establish that very well. Having a series of short scenes in the fog is fine, but then we stay on George and Kim after their accident. They will seem to be the main characters, but they aren't even major characters.
We can do the terrible driving conditions and the crash and leave them. Let us wonder about their fate. Go to Jane, and stay with her. That should be the longest scene so far. It doesn't matter how the couple make their way to the pub afterwards.
I think the biggest issue we've got is making her storyline engaging.
Everything else pretty much writes itself, but it's hard to find something to give her to do that doesn't feel extraneous.
Having it more as an ensemble piece, with her coming into prominence later might be OK. Kind of like Game of Thrones, you don't really know who is going to be the important one /s.
Either way, there needs to be more of an exciting role for her.
Rescuing people from the accident before a car explodes? Bit cliche.
Pk had a nice idea for a bit of a murder mystery. People disappearing. Killer on the loose. That was when the shape of the story was a bit different.
Hmm, interesting, Frank. I'm just not keen on the shame and worthy of living elements, even if you could argue you're shining a light on those aspects.
So, re the character suffering schizophrenia. I'll just make a couple suggestions... Do your research first. Chlorpromazine is a first generation medication which would bring you to: how old is this guy? Even if he's older, a person receiving regular meds and psychotherapy is likely now not only to be taking 2nd-generation antipsychotics (because they're superior and overdose is less likely fatal) but also be taking an anti-depressant and/or anti-convulsive/epileptic med. Obviously this is fiction so leeway applies lest you bore an audience with technicalities but it's still advisable you know your stuff...
Chlorpromazine is primarily viewed as outdated in first line of treatment these days for schizophrenia and psychotic episodes. It would also only combat spasms in someone afflicted with tetanus, (diazepam would do the same trick) but you'd still need an antitoxin and antibiotics.
Re storyline, wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air in this climate (still) of stigma related to mental illness (it's slowly improving) if the character was not just a plot device deserving of being impaled at the end, but if we as writers led the way to counter 'crazy' sterotypes. Your David could conversely be a high functioning individual, very intelligent, have a funny personality (maybe add comic relief with corny jokes) be well liked and be an asset to the survival of the group - maybe even be a leader of sorts. His gradual mental deterioration might then lead to him doubting his sanity as his meds wear off and he becomes less capable of making sound decisions. But even them have him aware of what's happening. He could even die heroically, saving someone else, while battling his own hallucinations. How about that? He could become a much loved character, his demise touching and tragic -
His denouement could be just like Jon Snow preparing for the Battle Of The Bastards - fans shrieking at the TV (or in this case, huddled around the podcast) yelling: No, he can't be gone...!
Okay, off my soapbox now. P.S. And no, I have no inclination to write David, btw. Just offering my thoughts, primarily on stereotypes.
Wow this thread moves fast.
Thanks for the info, Libby. I don't have any experience with antipsychotic drugs or anyone who takes them (I think... it's not the kind of thing that comes up in casual conversation with coworkers).
I just went to drugs.com and picked out the highest-popularity antipsychotic drug that had an on-label alternate use. Lots of them have a note indicating off-label uses, but they didn't say what those are. If you know of a more up-to-date drug with an interesting off-label use, it might make for a better story.
About the worth of a person, that's the doctor's racism showing through, not his judgment of mental health patients... though he'd be taking advantage of such attitudes in the authoritative proxy.
I'd be perfectly fine with this guy surviving the main assault... I just figured he doesn't carry a major arc so he'd likely be toast during that battle.
If he is going to stick around, he can become the group's incredibly inexperienced therapist. He would have no formal training... just been through a lot of time in a psychiatrist's office.
Hell, even if he is going to bite the dust, he could still be helping people deal with their issues and then leave the town without any kind of psychological support.
Peter, 42. Just transferred to the community, was a big shot police officer in a big city. Served in the military before that. A natural leader, admired and respected by his peers. Movie star handsome. Also happens to be of the same nationality and religion as Jane, maybe they used to know each other when they were younger? Same highschool? He's not perfect though. No one is. He's a recovering alcoholic, just hit 12 years sober, and has a strained relationship with his 22 year old son.
When the event happens and everyone starts to panic, Peter stays calm and collected. Quickly settles into a leadership role. As conditions worsen, he finds himself falling in love with Jane. I think Peter should have an early and surprising death.
Not sure if this is very helpful re alt uses in your example of Tetanus. Like I said you'd still need antitoxin and antibiotics.
All meds running out is going to be a worry though - insulin, asthma meds, heart meds, chemotherapy meds, antibiotics for those injured or sick... Not to mention blood supplies etc.
1. Former advertising guy in London. Got into financial and marital trouble, hit drugs, took LSD and it turned out he was a latent schizophrenic.
He was the 'took a trip and never came down' cliche.
He's never recovered and is permanently institutionalised. He occasionally escapes and always heads to the same place in Devon.. A place where he used to be happy.
It's very sad, and the hospital just keeps him permanently sedated. I doubt that is the best way of dealing with it, but that's the way it is.
2. Girlfriend's cousin. Has auditory hallucinations. 7 voices in her head. Six men who she says are very nice to slightly annoying, and one woman who she says is a 'hateful bitch'. It's essentially her inner judgememt/ inner critic personified, always tearing her down. The drugs she's on control the symptoms, but space her out and take her energy away. It's a bit of a shame as she's super intelligent and the drugs take a lot of her away.
That latter example is very sad, Rick. Well, they're both very sad. It's quite rare - the amount of voices in her head. There's a wide spectrum of how the illness affects people. Let's not forget John Nash - A Beautiful Mind.
Peter, 42. Just transferred to the community, was a big shot police officer in a big city. Served in the military before that. A natural leader, admired and respected by his peers. Movie star handsome. Also happens to be of the same nationality and religion as Jane, maybe they used to know each other when they were younger? Same highschool? He's not perfect though. No one is. He's a recovering alcoholic, just hit 12 years sober, and has a strained relationship with his 22 year old son.
When the event happens and everyone starts to panic, Peter stays calm and collected. Quickly settles into a leadership role. As conditions worsen, he finds himself falling in love with Jane. I think Peter should have an early and surprising death.
That's what I've got at the moment. Any thoughts?
All good stuff.
We'll Anglicise it a bit.
Big city= London. Hollywood looks = rugged, good looks.
Rather than a full blown alcoholic, what do you think about a problem drinker whose temper gets a bit out of control when he's had a drink? Maybe some hidden trauma from his military past at the root of it?
I reckon a little younger than Jane as well. Maybe 37 tops.
Big city= London. Hollywood looks = rugged, good looks.
Rather than a full blown alcoholic, what do you think about a problem drinker whose temper gets a bit out of control when he's had a drink? Maybe some hidden trauma from his military past at the root of it?
I reckon a little younger than Jane as well. Maybe 37 tops.
Like it all. Maybe when he was in the military, a mistake he made led to the death of a fellow soldier? What do you think of him having a son? If Peter is 37, maybe his so is like 17. His son is constantly getting into trouble, lashing out at his father.
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