SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 17th, 2019, 9:34pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)


Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The August Challenge  ›  August/September Character Discussion Moderators: Scar Tissue Films
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    August/September Character Discussion  (currently 4097 views)
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90

Quoted from ReneC
Everything is coming together quite nicely.

A word of caution about the opening though. If Jane is our main character, the current opening doesn't establish that very well. Having a series of short scenes in the fog is fine, but then we stay on George and Kim after their accident. They will seem to be the main characters, but they aren't even major characters.

We can do the terrible driving conditions and the crash and leave them. Let us wonder about their fate. Go to Jane, and stay with her. That should be the longest scene so far. It doesn't matter how the couple make their way to the pub afterwards.


I think the biggest issue we've got is making her storyline engaging.

Everything else pretty much writes itself, but it's hard to find something to give her to do that doesn't feel extraneous.

Usual cop motifs don't really apply.

Hmm.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 180 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 3:13pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90
Having it more as an ensemble piece, with her coming into prominence later might be OK. Kind of like Game of Thrones, you don't really know who is going to be the important one /s.

Either way, there needs to be more of an exciting role for her.

Rescuing people from the accident before a car explodes? Bit cliche.

Pk had a nice idea for a bit of a murder mystery. People disappearing. Killer on the loose. That was when the shape of the story was a bit different.

Give us something people.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 181 - 251
ReneC
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 3:28pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1018
Posts Per Day
0.34
A possible title came to me. Obscurus.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 182 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 3:37pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90
What about if her son Michael is missing from school?

So she's desperately trying to find him at the front end?


Sets up the beginnings of a conflict between family and duty as well.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 183 - 251
FrankM
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 6:44pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Between Chair and Keyboard
Posts
1132
Posts Per Day
1.60

Quoted from LC


Hmm, interesting, Frank. I'm just not keen on the shame and worthy of living elements, even if you could argue you're shining a light on those aspects.

So, re the character suffering schizophrenia. I'll just make a couple suggestions... Do your research first. Chlorpromazine is a first generation medication which would bring you to: how old is this guy? Even if he's older, a person receiving regular meds and psychotherapy is likely now not only to be taking 2nd-generation antipsychotics (because they're superior and overdose is less likely fatal) but also be taking an anti-depressant and/or anti-convulsive/epileptic med. Obviously this is fiction so leeway applies lest you bore an audience with technicalities but it's still advisable you know your stuff...

Chlorpromazine is primarily viewed as outdated in first line of treatment these days for schizophrenia and psychotic episodes.  It would also only combat spasms in someone afflicted with tetanus, (diazepam would do the same trick) but you'd still need an antitoxin and antibiotics.

Re storyline, wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air in this climate (still) of stigma related to mental illness  (it's slowly improving) if the character was not just a plot device deserving of being impaled at the end, but if we as writers led the way to counter 'crazy' sterotypes. Your David could conversely be a high functioning individual, very intelligent, have a funny personality (maybe add comic relief with corny jokes) be well liked and be an asset to the survival of the group - maybe even be a leader of sorts. His gradual mental deterioration might then lead to him doubting his sanity as his meds wear off and he becomes less capable of making sound decisions. But even them have him aware of what's happening. He could even die heroically, saving someone else, while battling his own hallucinations. How about that? He could become a much loved character, his demise touching and tragic -

His denouement could be just like Jon Snow preparing for the Battle Of The Bastards - fans shrieking at the TV (or in this case, huddled around the podcast) yelling: No, he can't be gone...!

Okay, off my soapbox now.  
P.S. And no, I have no inclination to write David, btw. Just offering my thoughts, primarily on stereotypes.


Wow this thread moves fast.

Thanks for the info, Libby. I don't have any experience with antipsychotic drugs or anyone who takes them (I think... it's not the kind of thing that comes up in casual conversation with coworkers).

I just went to drugs.com and picked out the highest-popularity antipsychotic drug that had an on-label alternate use. Lots of them have a note indicating off-label uses, but they didn't say what those are. If you know of a more up-to-date drug with an interesting off-label use, it might make for a better story.

About the worth of a person, that's the doctor's racism showing through, not his judgment of mental health patients... though he'd be taking advantage of such attitudes in the authoritative proxy.

I'd be perfectly fine with this guy surviving the main assault... I just figured he doesn't carry a major arc so he'd likely be toast during that battle.

If he is going to stick around, he can become the group's incredibly inexperienced therapist. He would have no formal training... just been through a lot of time in a psychiatrist's office.

Hell, even if he is going to bite the dust, he could still be helping people deal with their issues and then leave the town without any kind of psychological support.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 184 - 251
Zack
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 8:06pm Report to Moderator
OWC Moderator


Don't get it right. Get it written.

Posts
3044
Posts Per Day
0.62
The Partner.

Peter, 42. Just transferred to the community, was a big shot police officer in a big city. Served in the military before that. A natural leader, admired and respected by his peers. Movie star handsome. Also happens to be of the same nationality and religion as Jane, maybe they used to know each other when they were younger? Same highschool? He's not perfect though. No one is. He's a recovering alcoholic, just hit 12 years sober, and has a strained relationship with his 22 year old son.

When the event happens and everyone starts to panic, Peter stays calm and collected. Quickly settles into a leadership role. As conditions worsen, he finds himself falling in love with Jane. I think Peter should have an early and surprising death.

That's what I've got at the moment. Any thoughts?


MY RATING SYSTEM

  -  5/5
  -  4/5
  -  3/5
  -  2/5
  -  1/5
  -  0/5

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Zack  -  August 31st, 2019, 10:27pm
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 185 - 251
LC
Posted: August 31st, 2019, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
Moderator


Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
3830
Posts Per Day
0.94
Frank,

Chlorpromazine was the first major breakthrough drug so it goes to show why it's still up there in search results.

Going out now but I'll post more that might be useful later. This is a collaboration so sharing is vital to the cause.
...

Common off-label uses for antipsychotic meds:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK66085/#!po=13.7324

These are the common 2nd-gen antipsychotics:
https://www.sane.org/information-stories/facts-and-guides/antipsychotic-medication

The most popular and prescribed 2nd Gen antidepressants are SSRI's
https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/medication-list:


https://www.pharmacytimes.com/publications/issue/2011/june2011/old-drugs-are-new-again-
Repurposed drugs e.g. Thalidomide once banned now used to treat some cancers and leprosy.

A lot of schizophrenia sufferers use depot injectable meds cause they're long lasting.
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/schizophrenia-long-lasting-drugs

Not sure if this is very helpful re alt uses in your example of Tetanus. Like I said you'd still need antitoxin and antibiotics.

All meds running out is going to be a worry though - insulin, asthma meds, heart meds, chemotherapy meds, antibiotics for those injured or sick... Not to mention blood supplies etc.



Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
LC  -  September 1st, 2019, 4:03am
Logged
Private Message Reply: 186 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 4:04am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90
I know two schizophrenics.

1. Former advertising guy in London. Got into financial and marital trouble, hit drugs, took LSD and it turned out he was a latent schizophrenic.

He was the 'took a trip and never came down' cliche.

He's never recovered and is permanently institutionalised. He occasionally escapes and always heads to the same place in Devon.. A place where he used to be happy.

It's very sad, and the hospital just keeps him permanently sedated. I doubt that is the best way of dealing with it, but that's the way it is.

2. Girlfriend's cousin. Has auditory hallucinations. 7 voices in her head. Six men who she says are very nice to slightly annoying, and one woman who she says is a 'hateful bitch'. It's essentially her inner judgememt/ inner critic personified, always tearing her down. The drugs she's on control the symptoms, but space her out and take her energy away. It's a bit of a shame as she's super intelligent and the drugs take a lot of her away.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 187 - 251
LC
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 4:50am Report to Moderator
Moderator


Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
3830
Posts Per Day
0.94
That latter example is very sad, Rick. Well, they're both very sad. It's quite rare - the amount of voices in her head. There's a wide spectrum of how the illness affects people. Let's not forget John Nash - A Beautiful Mind.

And there's remission for some too:
https://library.neura.edu.au/schizophrenia/illness-course-and-outcomes/remission-and-recovery/



Logged
Private Message Reply: 188 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 5:10am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90
Yeah, it is sad.

On a brighter note, there's a guy that lives near me, whom I don't know, but occasionally find myself in the same coffee shop as.

He's about 70-75.

He has an invisible friend called Sam whom he talks to constantly...and they have some exceedingly funny conversations.

They do a running commentary on people walking by, which is always incredibly funny.

I don't know who Sam is, but they have a very jolly time together.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 189 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 5:21am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90

Quoted from Zack
The Partner.

Peter, 42. Just transferred to the community, was a big shot police officer in a big city. Served in the military before that. A natural leader, admired and respected by his peers. Movie star handsome. Also happens to be of the same nationality and religion as Jane, maybe they used to know each other when they were younger? Same highschool? He's not perfect though. No one is. He's a recovering alcoholic, just hit 12 years sober, and has a strained relationship with his 22 year old son.

When the event happens and everyone starts to panic, Peter stays calm and collected. Quickly settles into a leadership role. As conditions worsen, he finds himself falling in love with Jane. I think Peter should have an early and surprising death.

That's what I've got at the moment. Any thoughts?


All good stuff.

We'll Anglicise it a bit.

Big city= London.
Hollywood looks = rugged, good looks.

Rather than a full blown alcoholic, what do you think about a problem drinker whose temper gets a bit out of control when he's had a drink? Maybe some hidden trauma from his military past at the root of it?

I reckon a little younger than Jane as well. Maybe 37 tops.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 190 - 251
Zack
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
OWC Moderator


Don't get it right. Get it written.

Posts
3044
Posts Per Day
0.62

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


Big city= London.
Hollywood looks = rugged, good looks.

Rather than a full blown alcoholic, what do you think about a problem drinker whose temper gets a bit out of control when he's had a drink? Maybe some hidden trauma from his military past at the root of it?

I reckon a little younger than Jane as well. Maybe 37 tops.


Like it all. Maybe when he was in the military, a mistake he made led to the death of a fellow soldier? What do you think of him having a son? If Peter is 37, maybe his so is like 17. His son is constantly getting into trouble, lashing out at his father.


MY RATING SYSTEM

  -  5/5
  -  4/5
  -  3/5
  -  2/5
  -  1/5
  -  0/5
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 191 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 2:02pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90
If he's going to have a son, we could make him one of Freddie's gang. Gone off the rails a bit, rebelling against his Father,
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 192 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 2:03pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3383
Posts Per Day
0.90
Shall we make him a single father as well? Put a bit of pressure on his shoulders?
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 193 - 251
FrankM
Posted: September 1st, 2019, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Between Chair and Keyboard
Posts
1132
Posts Per Day
1.60

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
If he's going to have a son, we could make him one of Freddie's gang. Gone off the rails a bit, rebelling against his Father,


So maybe the one drawing Jane’s own rebellious son toward the gang.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 194 - 251
 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    The August Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006