SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 21st, 2019, 5:37pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)


Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The August Challenge  ›  August/September Character Discussion Moderators: Scar Tissue Films
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    August/September Character Discussion  (currently 4131 views)
Zack
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 2:09pm Report to Moderator
OWC Moderator


Don't get it right. Get it written.

Posts
3047
Posts Per Day
0.62
Alright, so I took another stab at the two American backpackers I created. Tried to flesh them out a bit.

Ian Dunn, 20, a popular youtuber who specializes in critiquing classic black and white horror films, just finished his third year of college. Despite his interest in macabre stories and a dark sense of humor, Ian is actually very sweet. Almost to a fault. He's constantly putting others before him. Ian is actually the one who convinced David to go backpacking across Europe, thinking it would help get his mind off of his loss. He and David have been best friends since gradeschool.

David Clifton, 20, the man behind the camera on Ian's youtube channel, also just finished his third year of college. Shares Ian's love for classic horror films. A huge, intimidating Dude, David is actually just a big lovable teddy bear. A little immature, constantly pulling pranks on his friends and family.  Recently lost his fiance and highschool sweetheart, Jessica, to a tragic accident. Just wants forget about everything for a while. That's what the whole vacation is about. Just see the world.

Once the event happens, David and Ian become stranded in the small community. Ian stays cool and collected, even manages to update his youtube channel, but David slips into a further depression. As the days go on and the fog remains, David swears he is seeing and hearing things out there. He's certain he's heard Jessica's voice... And even claims to have seen her in the fog.

That's what I've got so far. Any thoughts?



MY RATING SYSTEM

  -  5/5
  -  4/5
  -  3/5
  -  2/5
  -  1/5
  -  0/5
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 60 - 251
ReneC
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 2:45pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1018
Posts Per Day
0.34

Quoted from Zack
Alright, so I took another stab at the two American backpackers I created. Tried to flesh them out a bit.

Ian Dunn, 20, a popular youtuber who specializes in critiquing classic black and white horror films, just finished his third year of college. Despite his interest in macabre stories and a dark sense of humor, Ian is actually very sweet. Almost to a fault. He's constantly putting others before him. Ian is actually the one who convinced David to go backpacking across Europe, thinking it would help get his mind off of his loss. He and David have been best friends since gradeschool.

David Clifton, 20, the man behind the camera on Ian's youtube channel, also just finished his third year of college. Shares Ian's love for classic horror films. A huge, intimidating Dude, David is actually just a big lovable teddy bear. A little immature, constantly pulling pranks on his friends and family.  Recently lost his fiance and highschool sweetheart, Jessica, to a tragic accident. Just wants forget about everything for a while. That's what the whole vacation is about. Just see the world.

Once the event happens, David and Ian become stranded in the small community. Ian stays cool and collected, even manages to update his youtube channel, but David slips into a further depression. As the days go on and the fog remains, David swears he is seeing and hearing things out there. He's certain he's heard Jessica's voice... And even claims to have seen her in the fog.

That's what I've got so far. Any thoughts?



I'd see that movie. How does it end?

For this, it's got plenty to offer. But really, it could easily be a feature about depression or a supernatural thriller or a straight thriller with the twist that Ian is actually responsible for the fiance's death and trying to hide it and David's subconscious is slowly clueing him in.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 61 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 2:49pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3386
Posts Per Day
0.90

Quoted from Zack
Alright, so I took another stab at the two American backpackers I created. Tried to flesh them out a bit.

Ian Dunn, 20, a popular youtuber who specializes in critiquing classic black and white horror films, just finished his third year of college. Despite his interest in macabre stories and a dark sense of humor, Ian is actually very sweet. Almost to a fault. He's constantly putting others before him. Ian is actually the one who convinced David to go backpacking across Europe, thinking it would help get his mind off of his loss. He and David have been best friends since gradeschool.

David Clifton, 20, the man behind the camera on Ian's youtube channel, also just finished his third year of college. Shares Ian's love for classic horror films. A huge, intimidating Dude, David is actually just a big lovable teddy bear. A little immature, constantly pulling pranks on his friends and family.  Recently lost his fiance and highschool sweetheart, Jessica, to a tragic accident. Just wants forget about everything for a while. That's what the whole vacation is about. Just see the world.

Once the event happens, David and Ian become stranded in the small community. Ian stays cool and collected, even manages to update his youtube channel, but David slips into a further depression. As the days go on and the fog remains, David swears he is seeing and hearing things out there. He's certain he's heard Jessica's voice... And even claims to have seen her in the fog.

That's what I've got so far. Any thoughts?



I like it.

You can sort of picture someone seeing their lost love amidst all that fog.

Creepy and poignant.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 62 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 3:25pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3386
Posts Per Day
0.90
I don't know about anyone else, but it's all really starting to come alive for me.

I think we've done a tremendous amount in a short time.

The one thing is really like to get boxed off now is the main character.

Once we have that, it should be fairly easy (touch wood) to work out how we lead into all the other wonderful moments we've got.

I suggested a town female Town Councillor, and Rene agreed she should be an official of some kind. Nomad suggested a Soldier.

I really like the idea of one of the main family being a soldier, however I think making the main Pov a soldier will make the story too military based because of how much military stuff is going on.

So, I think we should make the daughter of the family a member of the Army. When the Government's contingency plans are enacted she has to leave to try to set up one of the hydroponic communities. Cue nice parting scene and worries about the future.

Later the family head to that same community and meet up with her, before the prisoners attack.

So what do people reckon the Main character should be?

I've changed my mind a bit about a Town Councillor.. I'm not sure what they do, and am wondering whether we'd have to spend too much time with her dealing with local problems.. Stuff that is not especially interesting or important to the story. The original thought was that it meant she'd know everyone around, so could be a kind of fulcrum, a way of introducing everyone in the area, but there's other ways we can do that.

Any ideas? Does it matter?

Can she just be a house wife?
A teacher? Schools close.. So she's just left to deal with the impending crisis.
A Police Officer?
CEO?
Pilot?

Other than surviving, does she play some other role?

Revision History (1 edits)
Scar Tissue Films  -  August 28th, 2019, 4:31am
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 63 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 3:29pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3386
Posts Per Day
0.90
Journalist?
Psychiatrist?
Author?
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 64 - 251
FrankM
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 3:40pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Between Chair and Keyboard
Posts
1132
Posts Per Day
1.59
In the US, City Council Member of a town is not a full-time job. Often it's someone (1) practicing for higher office, (2) activist in some facet of local governance, or (3) a local business owner who may or may not be putting a thumb on the scale in zoning fights.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 65 - 251
FrankM
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 3:45pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Between Chair and Keyboard
Posts
1132
Posts Per Day
1.59
A City Council member who happens to own a restaurant or warehouse would be in the middle of things, but not bogged down by details like a mayor or sheriff.

A City Council member who runs a trucking, delivery, or messenger company would have people in several towns and can serve as a clearinghouse for information about the surrounding communities.

A City Council member who's more of a busybody bent on government transparency would be pulling her hair out within hours.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 66 - 251
Nomad
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Southern California
Posts
560
Posts Per Day
0.18
She's the lead.  She had to have some leadership skills, or at least amazing people skills.  A bartender comes to mind. Maybe a pub owner.

Why do people turn to her?
Why do people follow her?

Does she make some decisions early on that saves lives?
Do people look to her to keep them safe?

Maybe she WAS the town councillor, but quit to be with her family for some reason yet to be revealed.  
She wouldn't be running the day to day operations, but when the shit hit the fan, she wouldn't have to learn how to do everything.
People would know her, respect her, but she would also come with her fair share of haters.


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 67 - 251
ReneC
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1018
Posts Per Day
0.34
I keep thinking of police chief. It's used often but with good reason. She would be respected and looked up to, she would be on the front line of problems, and in an emergency her voice would outweigh a politician's. She wouldn't be bogged down in every crisis, she has deputies she can delegate to and respond to escalating events.

Having a daughter in the military is brilliant, excellent way to have that part of the story spin off from the central family and indeed touching.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 68 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3386
Posts Per Day
0.90

Quoted from FrankM
A City Council member who happens to own a restaurant or warehouse would be in the middle of things, but not bogged down by details like a mayor or sheriff.

A City Council member who runs a trucking, delivery, or messenger company would have people in several towns and can serve as a clearinghouse for information about the surrounding communities.

A City Council member who's more of a busybody bent on government transparency would be pulling her hair out within hours.


It' does make sense. I think we need to explore some other avenues to try and find the most interesting angle before we commit.

The overall story is circling around themes of truth, perception, what's real and unreal. The fog becomes a mirror of humanity. Rising above the fog, is a bit like an attempt to reach the truth.

There might be something in those sort of concepts that might be useful.

What sort of people are interested in truth?

Police, psychologist, philosopher?

Vicar?
Journalist.

Hmm. I'll sleep on it, and see what you guys come up with.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 69 - 251
ReneC
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 4:43pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1018
Posts Per Day
0.34
It could be an industry town too. I thought about mining, but there isn't much active mining in England any more. It would be neat if the mine wasn't workable because of fog, instantly threatening the industry the town relies on for everything. The main could be a foreman or even the CEO of the industry, someone who wouldn't necessarily be a leader anywhere else but in this town they're hugely important for the town's livelihood.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 70 - 251
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 5:01pm Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Posts
3386
Posts Per Day
0.90
Problem with Police is all the procedural stuff, and reporting to her superiors and such. Or being sent to perform duties. None of it seems particularly important to our story.. The Police are more of a background thing.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 71 - 251
ReneC
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 5:16pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1018
Posts Per Day
0.34

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Problem with Police is all the procedural stuff, and reporting to her superiors and such. Or being sent to perform duties. None of it seems particularly important to our story.. The Police are more of a background thing.


In a small town, there isn't much of that. But fair enough.

Maybe it shouldn't be someone who starts off in a position of authority. Maybe it's someone who rises to the occasion. Teacher, coach, search and rescue pilot, respected author, farmer, librarian, university dean, ship captain, retired park ranger...


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 72 - 251
hawkeye
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Texas
Posts
916
Posts Per Day
0.36
What if she's a minister?  People come to ministers all the time searching for truth and guidance.

And when the fog starts to mess with everyone's minds, including hers, she's faced with a crisis of confidence in her faith.

This might lead into the other thing I had suggested earlier about whether the fog might be a portal to something else.  Or not.  That was just spitballing.

But as a minister, she also can be a central figure in the town that everyone knows and looks up to.  Or maybe she's a bit of a rebel in her teachings and so there is also a bit of animosity towards her from some townspeople.


My web site and scripts can be found here:

Gary's web site
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 73 - 251
ReneC
Posted: August 27th, 2019, 5:19pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
Vancouver, BC
Posts
1018
Posts Per Day
0.34
Maybe a former mayor. Someone who knows the inner workings of the town and knows the history but isn't a part of the current chain of command. Someone who was well respected and would be listened to when the current regime starts to flounder.


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 74 - 251
 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    The August Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006