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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The August Challenge  ›  August/September Character Discussion Moderators: Scar Tissue Films
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  Author    August/September Character Discussion  (currently 4126 views)
LC
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 9:56am Report to Moderator
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Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

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Okedoke Zack, got it!

But... It's past the witching hour here in Oz so I'll check it out proper in the morning.


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Zack
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 9:57am Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from LC
Okedoke Zack, got it!

But... It's past the witching hour here in Oz so I'll check it out proper in the morning.


No prob.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 1:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
@Frank There are many insanely talented voice actors out there. The success of the podcast will rely on the quality of the voice talent, and of course the foley, sound mixing, editing...

Of course, that's all out of our hands. We can only focus on delivering material worthy of great talent.

@Gary nice job putting that doc together and getting it out to us. I was wondering if a discord or something might be productive but I like the google doc approach. As long as we don't go down two separate paths with some people working on stuff posted here and others working on the doc, we should be more efficient.

Episode 1 is nearing fruition. We need to know where it's going now.

What are each character's arcs through season one, if they arc?
What topic or theme are the next episodes going to tackle?
What is the fog going to do in the next few episodes?
What other weather might happen in season one?
How are other nations being affected, and when?

I had a thought that maybe this should be set in December, so events are leading up to Christmas. More stress early on, more worry, busier time of year for travel, cold getting colder, religious time of year, and the audience would feel it. That Christmas episode could be particularly bleak.


OK, I've been looking at things for a bit.

I think there's a bit of a problem.

Originally, I was planning to start about 6 days into the fog, starting perhaps with a town Hall meeting and everyone arguing about what to do, but the general consensus was to start as the fog came in, which is a nice dramatic opening and made sense.

I think I'm now seeing why I subconsciously wanted to start a bit later; Nothing really happens till the crops start to fail. The emergency services would try to clear roads, get deliveries through, people would largely stay in their homes until things go crazy.

It feels like whatever we do, it'll just be stretching things out, or following storylines that will ultimately matter little.

My current thoughts are that we set up the arcs to a certain level, find a place where it makes sense to cut, and then jump the story forwards a few days or a week.

EG

Line of dialogue from sometime saying I don't know why everyone's worrying, it's just a bit of fog and it'll be gone in a couple of days.

This could be a character saying it, or a metrologist on the TV.

Cut to a week later

Mayhem in the supermarkets., TV announcer talking about Day 7 of the fog etc.

What do you think?



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FrankM
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 2:02pm Report to Moderator
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Makes sense to introduce the Fog as it rolls in suddenly and some of the initial chaos that emergency services struggle to handle, but manage.

The appearance of the Fog and the initial response are actually equivalent to the “ordinary world” phase of feature arc... realization that it isn’t going anywhere is more properly thought of as the “inciting incident.” Doing it this way illustrates that the big problem is the Fog, not that the particular town we’re following is incompetent.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 2:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
Makes sense to introduce the Fog as it rolls in suddenly and some of the initial chaos that emergency services struggle to handle, but manage.

The appearance of the Fog and the initial response are actually equivalent to the “ordinary world” phase of feature arc... realization that it isn’t going anywhere is more properly thought of as the “inciting incident.” Doing it this way illustrates that the big problem is the Fog, not that the particular town we’re following is incompetent.


I agree, but what I'm talking about is jumping forwards in time after that.

The story strands for the first week are pretty weak.

Cops basically taxiing people home.
People reuniting with family.
Bits of localised crime.
Minor setting in of fog depression.
Government taking control of roads to deliver essential supplies.
Difficulty of shopping.
Culminating in the realisation crops are wilting.

We can introduce new serious crime, like the serial killer we've talked about.

We could accelerate the 'are there things in the fog' scenario. Some people who are unusually susceptible to the fog are seeing things, start phoning up local radio etc and cause people to start panicking.

Those two things can also be related.

So if we are sticking with a rigid time frame, those two things are really our only option.

That some people are unusually susceptible to the fog, and start acting out more quickly.

The alternative is a well prepared jump forwards a few days/week.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 2:43pm Report to Moderator
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OK, so let's assume we're continuing directly with what we have.

Open story strands:

1. Car crashes everywhere. Emergency services and maybe military need to clear the roads and escort stranded home.
2. Many thousands of people, if not millions stuck away from home in train stations and airports.
3. Lots of local people stuck in the fog.. But can probably get home with a bit of patience.. They just need to find a recognizable place then follow close to walls.
4. Michelle/ Olivia separated from parents.
5. Michael is lost.
6. Freddie and friends are out in the mood to cause trouble.
7. People stuck in the pub.
8. Marjorie will need an insulin shot tomorrow morning. Bill can take her home But...
9. George getting to the hospital.
10. Clive starting to feel psychological effects of fog. Maybe there are others.
11. First meeting of COBRA Committee. Probably slightly lighthearted, joking as to why they're there and the Transport minister hasn't fixed it all himself.
12. Conflict between Jane's partner and his son who is hanging around with Freddie.
13. World News. Need some very troubling occurrences from places worldwide to establish the seriousness. Plane crash? What else?
Then we have the people coming into the pub later :


Teacher looking for Melvin because of lost son.
Someone unusually affected by the fog.. David our schizophrenic.

He can come in late at night having spent all day in it. And think there's more to it than just fog, but he's not sure.

Michael who has also been stuck in it all day can say he had a strange feeling as well.

Local Radio has phone ins from the first people discussing slightly strange things...all of which can be put down to over active imaginations.

These story strands are basically episode 2.

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Scar Tissue Films  -  September 3rd, 2019, 5:39pm
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 2:46pm Report to Moderator
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P. S tomorrow morning I'll start two new threads.

One for Episode One discussing the writing of the pilot.

And one to continue discussing Episode 2.

I'll put the cast list up and we'll decide definitively on names, as well to end the confusion.
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ReneC
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 3:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
OK, so let's assume we're continuing directly with what we have.

Open story strands:

1. Car crashes everywhere. Emergency services and maybe military need to clear the roads and escort stranded home.
2. Many thousands of people, if not millions stuck away from home in train stations and airports.
3. Lots of local people stuck in the fog.. But can probably get home with a bit of patience.. They just need to find a recognizable place then follow close to walls.
4. Michelle/ Olivia separated from parents.
5. Michael is lost.
6. Freddie and friends are out in the mood to cause trouble.
7. People stuck in the pub.
8. Marjorie will need an insulin shot tomorrow morning. Bill can take her home But...
9. George getting to the hospital.
10. Clive starting to feel psychological effects of fog. Maybe there are others.
11. First meeting of COBRA Committee. Probably slightly lighthearted, joking as to why they're there and the Transport minister hasn't fixed it all himself.
12. Conflict between Jane's partner and his son who is hanging around with Freddie.
13. World News. Need some very troubling occurrences from places worldwide to establish the seriousness. Plane crash? What else?
Then we have the people coming into the pub later :


Teacher looking for Melvin because of list son.
Sometime unusually affected by the fog.. David our schizophrenic.

He can come in late at night having spent all day in it. And think there's more to it than just fog, but he's not sure.

Michael whose also been stuck in it all day can say he had a strange feeling as well.

This is enough to get them to turn to local radio where they hear other, perhaps exaggerated tales of things people have seen, unsettling them and the audience.

Plus, potentially a killer or otherwise dangerous lunatic who is unusually affected by the fog.

These story strands are basically episode 2.


I'd hold off on the psychological effects of the fog for the moment. It's too soon. As we established, fog isn't unusual, but prolonged bad weather affects many people greatly.

As for the COBRA committee, I'd use that as the time jump. Initially it's a local problem, but as the fog spreads and worsens it becomes a national problem, and then an international one as the situation becomes apparent. We should start local, then jump to three or four days later with a higher level view of the new situation. When we come back to our local characters we can see how they've fared over those days, and the psychological effects will be apparent right away.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 3:53pm Report to Moderator
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Reading the plan, and trying to fix it up a bit, it occurred to me that Olivia/Michelle (she's going to be Olivia from now on) should be the daughter of the two people seriously injured in the crash. She was small enough to crawl from the accident and was fortunately not hurt.

This means she can be 'adopted' by the main group if her parents die in Hospital.
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ReneC
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 4:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Reading the plan, and trying to fix it up a bit, it occurred to me that Olivia/Michelle (she's going to be Olivia from now on) should be the daughter of the two people seriously injured in the crash. She was small enough to crawl from the accident and was fortunately not hurt.

This means she can be 'adopted' by the main group if her parents die in Hospital.


Is this the same crash that involves Melvin and George and Kim? Or another couple? I'm getting confused.

Having Melvin be the bus driver that Kim runs into might be difficult. He would be at the accident the longest, he wouldn't arrive until much later. He could be in the pub already off duty and drinking and the driver in the accident was a close friend who didn't survive the crash. Maybe it was even supposed to be his shift but he swapped to watch the game. Equally traumatic.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 4:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC


Is this the same crash that involves Melvin and George and Kim? Or another couple? I'm getting confused.

Having Melvin be the bus driver that Kim runs into might be difficult. He would be at the accident the longest, he wouldn't arrive until much later. He could be in the pub already off duty and drinking and the driver in the accident was a close friend who didn't survive the crash. Maybe it was even supposed to be his shift but he swapped to watch the game. Equally traumatic.


It's all the same crash.

It's very near the pub.

The Police officers on the scene leave to carry the injured to the hospital because all the ambulances are headed to the motorways.

So while normally he'd wait around to give a statement, there's noone there, so he could simply head off to the nearby pub, not really sure what to do.

He can't go home, so it makes sense. He's just stuck outside.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 3rd, 2019, 4:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC


I'd hold off on the psychological effects of the fog for the moment. It's too soon. As we established, fog isn't unusual, but prolonged bad weather affects many people greatly.

As for the COBRA committee, I'd use that as the time jump. Initially it's a local problem, but as the fog spreads and worsens it becomes a national problem, and then an international one as the situation becomes apparent. We should start local, then jump to three or four days later with a higher level view of the new situation. When we come back to our local characters we can see how they've fared over those days, and the psychological effects will be apparent right away.


It's not so much the fog, it's the power of suggestion.

In a world without fog, the majority believe in ghosts, huge numbers believe aliens are visiting us, there's millions of subscriber's to conspiracy theories (some extremely odd), people who try to talk to spirits and a million other things. That's just ordinary people, not people with impaired perception.

So all the weirdness already exists in real life. It only needs a spark for it to gradually become more believable.

From the first minute rumours would be circulating on the Internet. Especially Governmental conspiracies. People would get spooked by the atmosphere and pass their fear on etc. It's similar to creeping people out round a camp fire with ghost stories. Someone sows a seed and the mind starts filling in the blanks.

The feeling that there might be something in the fog is crucial, so the seeds need to be sown for that.

We have to start slowly, but the first hint of the creepy atmosphere needs to start percolating through. Sound is different, unknown figures lurk in the fog, streetlamps cast weird, distorted shadows.

Anyway, its getting late for me.

Tomorrow I'll clean everything up so it's not so confusing and set up new threads, like I said.
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