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Rick, just to clarify though, there's no hard and fast rule says the main character has to appear in the very first scene of the opening is there? She's there obviously, but there's an ensemble of characters hit by that fog on the road intermingled with her prominent appearance?
I'm gonna read the entirety of this thread again and Gary's summary.
Zack's having a go at the opening, as am I.
Nothing to stop Rene, or anyone else from giving it a go too, right?
I mean at least to start with we should pool our talents for the optimal Opening and see what works most effectively from a general consensus POV?
I won't be able to really get into it though till tomorrow afternoon probably. The dentist comes first unfortunately, ick.
One other question: If someone manages to download a format template (transcript) for one of the popular fiction podcasts I'd be grateful - one that looks good and is efficient and easy to work with. So many I've looked at so far look messy and it'd be good to be able to work with an application that makes the writing easier.
Have a go and see and see what works, if you like.
When I did the original vomit beat sketch, Rene felt that if focused too much on George and Kim's plight and gave the impression they were the main characters, so I restructured it, adding a bigger accident and establishing Jane's credentials immediately (essentially a 'Save the Cat" moment, though that wasn't a conscious thing).
It made sense to me simply because we've got to focus the attention primarily'somewhere. It's just a question of balance, though.
Stephen posted a couple of templates somewhere on the chronology thread.
Rene also posted a link on this thread to a podcast, and on their website they had links to their scripts.
It's basically just:
Libby : Why, what terrible weather we're having.
SFX: A tornado in the background.
Everything is audio. Anything outside of the dialogue must necessarily be describing some sound effects. So as long as you make it clear what we're hearing.. Even if you go over the top in describing it, is fine as far as I'm concerned.
I did wonder whether the bus involved in the accident could be driven by Melvin because he happens to be a bus driver. So he starts the story traumatised which might make his character more interesting.
CHARACTERS MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE PUB IN DRAMATIC OPENING:
George Prescott, 26, recently geology graduate, is on a date with Kim Libby, 25, American on a work visa. George is soon heading to Cornwall to work in the re-opening tin mine. His grandfather was a miner, but George will be working in a lab. Accident Victims who appear out of the Fog after a car crash.
MICHELLE/OLIVIA HIGSON. Lost child. Represents the child's innocent view and completes the age groups. Plot...trying to re-unite her with her parents.
BILL/NASIM (Gary called him Nasim): Blind man with his guide dog. Represents the blind in the story...unaffected by the fog as he can't see it.
These people meet up outside and are lead by the blind man to the pub.
Melvin O'Donnell, 54, bus driver, divorced. A regular, someone who knows the city well and knows people along his route. Leaves the pub to try to find his son along with his ex-wife? Represents Working Class man. Socialism. Maybe a little bit racist? Got common sense, but not a lot of education and has no real way of evaluating what's true or not true in terms of the science, psychology, economics etc. He crashes his bus and is deeply traumatised.
Jane and her Partner are attending the accident. There's already a Peter in the story (an old guy). Better if you change the Partner's name to something else.