I think Cornetto is right about what Gabe has to do. I don't think however that the script needs an amazing ending. IMHO this is a low key relaxed feel kind of script and the ending should fit that and not overshadow the rest of the story.

I think that the ending works. It remains consistent with the tone of the piece and Del finally gets to actually cook.

If the low key atmosphere that has been prevalent suddenly changed in the end, it would seem forced IMHO.

Sandra

Yeah, I agree...the ending doesn't have to be anything big or different from the rest of the script.

Are you guys saying that the ending worked for you, then?

Quoted from Dreamscale Yeah, I agree...the ending doesn't have to be anything big or different from the rest of the script. Are you guys saying that the ending worked for you, then?

Could it have been better? Yes, I do think so.  How? I'm not sure. I do understand that things just sort themselves out rather than Gabe proactively "fixing" things.

Maybe one way the end could have a bit more bam is to have Jill show up for real.

Sandra

Sandra!  I think you're on to something.  I like that idea...alot!  Have Jill show up outisde as they leave..they see each other...eye contact...a smile...THE END!

Huh?  maybe?  I like it!

I like that too.   Maybe instead of hard feelings towards her, they get together again?  Am I off on the wrong track here?

No Pia, I don't think you're off at all.  I like that concept.  I totally like that concept!  It gives everything a much different feel...a feel I think the script is lacking.  It leaves us with a much better feeling, IMO, at least.

What does everybody else think of Sandra's great idea?

Nice job, Sandra!  Seriously.  I think you nailed it.

Quoted Text No Pia, I don't think you're off at all.  I like that concept.  I totally like that concept!  It gives everything a much different feel...a feel I think the script is lacking.  It leaves us with a much better feeling, IMO, at least. What does everybody else think of Sandra's great idea? Nice job, Sandra!  Seriously.  I think you nailed it.

It should end with Jill showing up, she locks eyes with Gabe. Tells him she wants to get back together. Gabe answers "Really? me too!". She runs towards Gabe and BAM!! she gets hit by a truck, Roll Credits.

Now thats an ending  

Yaboy!!!!!  I thought of that as well, and I DO LIKE IT..but, I think that's going overboard for what this is.  That would make this rock IMO with that ending though.  Too crazy for this...????...What?

I LOVE that idea, but like we said earlier... it doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the script.

Anyone else?  We need more opinions!!!!  Yo!!!

I've been thinking about what you guys are saying about the ending. As I said before, I think we need to see Gabe and Jill interacting at one point, even if it's a flashback.

If she did turn up at the end of the script, them being together and going off happily into the sunset might be a tad too cliche...

Maybe (don't shoot me!) Jill can turn up at the end, and her body language shows she wants to get back with Gabe, but Gabe doesn't want her. He is over her. So his character arc is, he gets past his writers block, is able to write a book, and gets over the girl he loved.

OR:

She turns up. He is over her, but he is willing to give it another try.

You would need to show that Jill was controlling when they were together in the script, to give Gabe a reason not to be fully in love with her again.

Yeah, either one is good, Tommy.  I like 'em!

Quoted from Dreamscale Yeah, either one is good, Tommy.  I like 'em!

Me too. Too bad that my good ideas come in fragments and not in completely nailed scripts. Ah but that's the joy of the challenge in the work.

Sandra

Quoted from Dreamscale Yaboy!!!!!  I thought of that as well, and I DO LIKE IT..but, I think that's going overboard for what this is.  That would make this rock IMO with that ending though.  Too crazy for this...????...What?

I agree my idea does not really fit the tone of the rest of the script, but it would provide a LOL moment to end on.

I really do not know how else I would end it. As is I think the ending is pretty mediocre. In my eyes Gabe's problem is not solved because his book is looking to be pretty lame. The mobsters coming to finish off Yago was supposed to be a "Haha those car salesmen really were mobsters" moment but it does not work for me. I would have preferred if we saw the end of Yago when Jack punches him out.

I think this pretty slow paced comedy could use a big bang of a ending, I am not saying the one I proposed is the correct one as I just threw that out there off the top of my head, but I do not think the current ending finalizes the story enough.

I think somehow seeing Jill in-person at the end could be great, but I do not like the ideas of having them have some sort of serious meaningful moment. This is a comedy and her appearance has to bring one final MEMORABLE laugh that will finish this story up. I love Tommy's ideas if this was a drama but if this is really a comedy then I do not think they work.