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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -††One Week Challenge  ›  Scripts of the Rom Com 2019 OWC
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  Author    Scripts of the Rom Com 2019 OWC  (currently 12189 views)
eldave1
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 12:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
I kniw what an orphan is now. Could someone enlighten me pn a wrylie please?


DAVE
Khamanna, a wrylie is...
(takes a sip of coffee)
The same thing as a parenthetical.

Some writers universally avoid them. That is a mistake, IMO. Some writers way overuse them. That is a mistake, IMO. In both cases, you'll know it when you see it.

Using the above example. If as a writer I think there is something important about Dave taking that sip of coffee (let's say Jeff put poison in it), then that is an effective use. It is better than:

DAVE
Khamanna, a wrylie is...

Dave takes a sip of coffee.

DAVE (CONT'D)
The same thing as a parenthetical.

Because it uses less space and does not interrupt the dialogue flow. Now, if the coffee sip is not important, than I wouldn't use a wrylie or write an action line.

Also effective for non-obvious emotions. e.g.,

DAVE
Khamanna, a wrylie is...
(sarcastic)
The worst thing a writer can do.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


I second this.

Zack


see above


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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FrankM
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from StevenClark
Heís all over them freakin wrylies this challenge. Not a meep meep about orphans, but oh then wrylies. ARGH!!!


But have you run into

(a wrylie with an
orphan)


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from FrankM
But have you run into

(a wrylie with an
orphan)


Been there, done that.


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:31pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Cam Gray
Can I just bring something to the attention of some of the reviewers on the challenge, without attempting to open a can of worms, but rather open minds, maybe...the word ďfuckĒ being apparently out of place in a romcom.

Now, we donít all swear but swear words are in the dictionary and have been utilised frequently when it comes to romcoms: insert Four Weddings example ó> https://youtu.be/bjixdVvkfL4

The above is one example, itís not hard to find others, and letís not get started on the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally, weíll be here all day. Basically, naughty words have as much a place within the confines of these scripts and this challenge as nice ones do. As weíre having a spoilertastic reveal morning (thanks for the cleanup Pia) I shall neither confirm nor deny if Iíve been picked up on dropping f bombs, but let it go when youíre reviewing these, itís not exactly review worthy comment if someone is using a naughty word or 10.

Right, back on my high horse, with helmet now firmly on,

Cam


Let's be clear, ah, well... let's try and be clear.  

Seriously though

My problem isn't with a swear word, I'm the one who went walking down the street singing, Lilly Allen's Fuck You and having a gay old time   Really.

My problem is with weak writing. Can't people come up with anything else rather than smearing that around all the time? If a character talks like that, ok. But all these characters are talking the same way and that's what bothers me. It's too much and I get sick of it.

But I did make my way through ( so and so's) and it was really good despite, well, you know.



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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PKCardinal
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


Been there, done that.


I've done that one, too. Looks horrible on the page. But, it can be a tough one to work around. I usually switch those to action lines if I can, but sometimes it's damn near unavoidable. Tough to shorten, and you REALLY don't want to lengthen.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.


Let's be clear, ah, well... let's try and be clear.  

Seriously though

My problem isn't with a swear word, I'm the one who went walking down the street singing, Lilly Allen's Fuck You and having a gay old time   Really.

My problem is with weak writing. Can't people come up with anything else rather than smearing that around all the time? If a character talks like that, ok. But all these characters are talking the same way and that's what bothers me. It's too much and I get sick of it.

But I did make my way through ( so and so's) and it was really good despite, well, you know.


Overuse definitely weakens the power of the word. If it's every third word on the page, it has no punch whatsoever. It's like any other device - overuse limits its effectiveness.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Zack
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:43pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from eldave1


see above


Thank you for the clarification, Dave. Really appreciate it.

Zack


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eldave1
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Thank you for the clarification, Dave. Really appreciate it.

Zack


My pleasure


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 1:57pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Alert***

I just opened something that won't allow me to stop laughing. I can't write and laugh at the same time. I've got problems!!! I need to switch from coffee to chamomile.

And reading the comments is way better than my script!!!  




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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khamanna
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 2:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.
Alert***

I just opened something that won't allow me to stop laughing. I can't write and laugh at the same time. I've got problems!!! I need to switch from coffee to chamomile.

And reading the comments is way better than my script!!!  


Sandra, those two women teamed up because they have whips. We need to team up with you too. We both have glasses after all. And even lower back problems. Probably some other problems, I don't know...
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 2:56pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from khamanna

Sandra, those two women teamed up because they have whips. We need to team up with you too. We both have glasses after all. And even lower back problems. Probably some other problems, I don't know...





A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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khamanna
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 3:49pm Report to Moderator
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Dave, I'm just seeing your explanation, thanks for that.

So, that's what a wrylie is.

And I know what a slug is btw. Just thought I'd boast about that, when I was new to the site I totally didn't.
And I'll tell you to prove I know it - a slug is a scene heading.
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eldave1
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 3:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Dave, I'm just seeing your explanation, thanks for that.

So, that's what a wrylie is.

And I know what a slug is btw. Just thought I'd boast about that, when I was new to the site I totally didn't.
And I'll tell you to prove I know it - a slug is a scene heading.


My pleasure


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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FrankM
Posted: February 6th, 2019, 3:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Dave, I'm just seeing your explanation, thanks for that.

So, that's what a wrylie is.

And I know what a slug is btw. Just thought I'd boast about that, when I was new to the site I totally didn't.
And I'll tell you to prove I know it - a slug is a scene heading.


Donít put salt on your slugs. Itís just mean.

(And you never know if the slug has a gurza friend.)


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