Just finished Pleasure Pain.

An extremely entertaining piece. Sex and violence are always a winning combination, that and I’ve always been a sucker for ninja on vampire carnage. But with that said, there were a few issues that bothered me.

Your descriptions were engaging and effective, but then there was so many of them. There were a few times were I got lost. If you guys ever release a Buckets of Blood Redux, try to streamline your descriptions.    

The dialogue seemed accurate for that time period, although there were a few instances were the brothers seemed to lose their “Asian-ness”. Out of nowhere, they suddenly sounded like a bunch of modern white guys. This occurred during their walk through the checkpoints.

Other than the above-mentioned issues, this was an awesome story. The emperor angle never occurred to me until the end. Good stuff.

Not sure when I’ll get to the rest. Maybe tonight.

Hey Alffy, Nixon and Spencer,

Thanks for reading! I'll try to read Twitch to myself, it's the only one I haven't read yet.

Spencer,
Your wife called the cops?!! Funny, funny. I understand completely. I don't like to put my real last name on my scripts because the last thing I want is my family and friends finding some of my more "colorful" scripts. What would they think? They wouldn't call the cops, but maybe a hospital.

My descriptions are still too long? My style has changed completely since I posted my first script here 15 months ago. A lot of that is thanks to everyone's comments here. I'm a lot leaner in descriptions than I used to be, but still have a long way to go. Especially chosing better words to make them more powerful.

I have also started to break up action lines into individual shots rather than just going by the four line max rule. It makes it easier to read too I think and even in the visualization.

Regarding Ally being hoisted up, you are probably right. And maybe she should get zapped too. I will definitely rewrite this once I've got some more comments as I'm sure the others will too whith the comments they get.

Thanks again for reading.

Pia

Finished The Dead and The Deader last night and it actually left me speechless.

This one reminded me of the old splatter films, just completely packed with scenes of visceral and explicit gore. This one is really difficult to review, since it shouldn’t be judged like other shorts. You have something special here, but some people might not see that.

Once you get past the violence, there just isn’t really anything there. But maybe that was the point. If you were trying to create something that was trangressive, something that was simply meant to outrage people, then you succeeded. And that’s what makes this so entertaining.

Good stuff. More people should be reading "Buckets".

As I said earlier, this is one of the coolest ideas for a script that I've seen!(I hope you guys don't mind if I do something like this as well). However, like GrindHouse, it's not getting the attention it deserves!If you like horror, read these scripts! They are amazing!!! I still have 2 more to read, but the 2 I already read absolutly floored me!

Just finished Twitch and Pleasure Pain! Let me just say that as a whole, Buckets of Blood one of my favorite scripts on this site!

Twitch
I didn't think I was going to like this one, but I was wrong. It's not the best of the four, but it was still a damn good read. My biggest problem with this one was that it read more like a drama than a horror. It just didn't push the envolope like the others. That does mmean this wasn't gory! It's definetly fits in with the other 3 in terms of blood and gore! A well told ghost story!

7 out of 10

Pleasure Pain

This reminded me of some of Quentin Tarintinos work. It was over the top, fun, and action packed! This was more of an action script in my opinion. I did like the ending! My only complaint is that sometimes I got lost in the descriptions, but maybe that's just me.

8 out of 10

Buckets of Blood

Despite it's flaws, I had a blast reading this script and I definetly plan to read it again. You guys should definetly do a Buckets of Blood 2!

9.5 out of 10

My thoughts on 'The dead and the deader'

Nice opening, very blood thirsty and grusome.  The thought of sawing someones hands off makes my wrists tingle!!!

Harlan really is a nasty bastard.

Introducing Elizabeth and Marcel as lovers quickly throws a spanner into Harlan's story.

Not sure on the porn scene though?  Sorry sacrifice scene lol.

Harlan seems to have a strong hold over his daughter yet he still doesn't know who the father is after what 8 months?  He seems like the knid of father who would beat it out of her.

The Fetus scene is a real stand out.  Really disgusting.

One thing that bothers me is that Elizabeth would be in absolute agony if Harlan had just stomped all over her stomach and caused her unborn child out.

I can't see this sitting well with the animal lovers lol.

It seemed a little strange that the ghosts killed the sheriff.  After all he did nothing to them.

This really is disgusting - but I like it.  It reminded me of one of the segments from Creepshow, well I think it was Creepshow?

I enjoyed this, the story was ok but I struggled with setting of 1867.  The New Orleans setting felt right but I thought it seemed lije it was set much later.  maybe just me o that one though.  The dialogue was good throughout but Harlan's character bothered me.  I think because we are meant to hate too much, ruthless killer and even murdering his own daughter!

Overall though this was a good short and fit perfectly in the Bucket of Blood, probably because there was alot of blood!!!

Thanks for the reads everyone

I think I been pretty much outta which one is mine

I wanted to write the most horrific, evil, disgusting human being imaginable, up there with the likes of Hitler.  I also really wanted to do a zombie story, this is my first one, it is a little different than others, my zombie's talk, I thought that would be kinda c0ol.  

Thanks again

i'm not sure i'd call this a zombie script. It was more of a ghost story.

Quoted from The boy who could fly I wanted to write the most horrific, evil, disgusting human being imaginable, up there with the likes of Hitler.

Well I think you succeded there mate!

Quoted from Zack i'm not sure i'd call this a zombie script. It was more of a ghost story.

I consider it a zombie story, people rising from the grave and all, but it was a different take on it.  I also wanted the villain to be human, hopefully it worked.

Oh it definetly worked! In my opinion The Dead and thhe Deader and Dark Side of Men are tied for the best of the four scripts. All were good, though.

Pleasure Pain

-I'm having a little trouble with the dialogue off the top.  "Come off it" seems a little out of place and out of time, for example.  Also, "I fear the Emperor would have it so" is something that only someone like an Emperor or nobleman would say.  Another example, "So on and so forth".  Lots of the dialogue fits the place and time really well.  Some really doesn't at all.
-Gosh the Emperor spends a lot of time talking at the start here.  All exposition, too...
-"Enjoy life with the nomads, boys"...okay, he can't call them boys.
-Little formatting problem on page 7, Saburo's dialogue has turned into action.  Actually, Jiro's too, further down the page.
-Missing a "you" in Jiro's line at the bottom of the page. (if...had to spend)
-I'm glad a wound vomits projectile blood.  Just what I was hoping for!  Ha ha ha.
-Ohhh god so much action...it never stops.  This is getting a little long.
-"Get over here!"  HA HA HA!  Wondrous.

Okay so this was violent and bloody as hell, and that I like.  Plenty of creative ass-kicking and gore, along with some nice disgusting ideas.

But it's too much.  This story is just an endless action scene.  The dialogue is almost infallibly on the nose and there's way too much of it in the first half.  This comes as two parts and I think it needs a little up and down.  The story's left no room for any sort of conversation, really, once they get inside the brothel.  So really, despite the wonderful gore, I didn't like this too much.

It could even work if there were just some quiet moments in the brothel.  Maybe the vampires try to seduce them first, and we could see how each of them reacts differently to this.  Something like that.  Now this just kinda seems like setup setup setup payoff payoff payoff...but I don't think that format works here.  Even Dusk Till Dawn has dialogue scenes between the asskicking.

Oh and I forgot to mention the Emperor.  The ending was awesome.  Kudos on that one.

The Dead and the Deader

Well this was nice and disgusting.  Definitely cringe-worthy.  Unique and gruesome bloodletting is always refreshing, and personally, I like that you didn't try to round Harlan out or give him a good side...I think it works better if he's just the worst person in the world.

I don't actually have much to say about this one, I thought it was quite good.  I do have to say though, and I say this as a fan of gratuitous bad taste, that I still thought it was too much.  The scene with the prostitute, while gloriously nasty, is pointless.  It doesn't move the story ahead at all...it serves the exact same purpose as the opening scene.  I understand that this is at heart a splatter film, but I would argue that even the most gratuitous splatter films (and I promise you, I've seen them) keep the carnage somewhat relevant to the story.  I guess you could say that the prostitute is what brings Sheriff Johnson in, WHICH...

...is my other complaint.  What's with this guy?  He's an absolute puss who just gets killed in the end and contributes nothing.  I say lose him.

All in all, a fun read and a great hark back to the mean-spirited bloodletting of 70s splatterfests.  I just, even despite the gratuitous nature of the whole script, would've liked to see a little more emphasis on story.

Twitch

-"Her face is desecrated" is sort of an odd description...
-"You really loved him, didn't you?"  ...well he was her brother...
-"We feel that you might have some emotional problems or whatever"  Heh heh moms don't say "or whatever", especially not if they're talking about emotional problems.  Reading on I see that her mom's a little off, but still...also, telling her not to mention Riley?  Yeesh!
-"Green light"...I really like that for some reason.  Good stuff.
-Page 75, "gouged" not "gauged".
-Hee hee great, GREAT death for Haley.
-Page 85, "Her face is barely unnoticeable", should be "recognizable".  Also, they later found him as the "convict"...this needs to be "perpetrator" or something along those lines, because if they found him dead then he wasn't convicted.
-...their dad is responsible for the rape and murder of a little girl and they've never heard about it?  Impossible.
-Ahh, Emily being raped just like the girl, by her own dad no less.  Excellent!  

Great ending.  Nice and awful.  This really came through at the end with a great deal of vicious gore.

However, let's go through the ghost movie cliche list, shall we?  Little girl who appears everywhere, turns out to have been horribly wronged; little girl moments like a giggle or catching a glimpse of a dress; big end-of-the-second-act flashback that explains everything; person with back to camera who spins around to reveal something terrifying; surprise ending in mental hospital; moments like blood leaking out of things or something written on the ceiling in blood.

The story and characters have absolutely nothing we haven't all seen before.  What's left, and I can see you took great care with this, are the brutal and gory deaths.  And you know what?  They're really good, even the fantasy moments like the woman pulling her own head open and vomiting her guts.  Great stuff, excessively brutal.

I don't really care for this short, frankly, because it just doesn't seem to have a point or much originality outside the deaths.  Still, that's more than a lot of ghost movies can say, isn't it.  Well written but unoriginal...could be a lot worse.  Good job.

The Dark Side of Man

-Absolutely flawlessly awesome first scene.
-Just a little thought on page 110/111 here...the first time Bobby screams out a "don't touch her" line is long after the point that he should.  I would think as soon as Jerry walks over to her on 110...

This one's my favorite.  A great little tale of nastiness with some social commentary, even.  I don't really have gripes at all.  The only thing I noticed, actually, was that the conversation at the end was a little overdone, the word "real" is used a few too many times.  It makes it less morbidly amusing.

This was great, though, good job Pia!

Buckets of Blood

Actually, I think I would like these better as separate stories than as part of an anthology.  The preoccupation with gore became a problem for me, and since there was so much excessive gore in all of them, it frankly got a little tiresome and even lost some of its shock value.  I was expecting that Twitch would take a slower route and be a different sort of story, but really I think that the first three suffer from being too similar in tone.  All four are fairly classic types of stories (maybe not ninjas vs. vampire prostitutes so much...), and that was what made it so unbearable that the hook for each was excessive gruesome violence.

On the other hand, they're all pretty good shorts, and I thought Pia's especially was absolutely fantastic.  All four are well written and there wasn't much clunky dialogue or the like at all.  I'm worried that I'm sounding negative here when my reaction was moderately positive, but oh well, you're all thick skinned.

Finished reading The Dead and the Deader, thought it was time to give it a review. And also bump up the thread.

Jordan,

I know swearing is generally frowned upon on these boards, but I feel no fear in saying that this script was TOTALLY FUCKED UP!!!

This is the grossest, sickest, disgusting, most disturbing script on the site. Spoiled was one thing, and now this.

I cringed dozens of times (especially during that scene with the hooker and the razor blade). I did laugh when Harlan killed the baby though, because I dont' like babies. Or kids. Shudder.

Anyway, to summarise: this script was fucking disgusting. You should be so proud. I'll get around to reading the others sooner or later. Sooner, rather than later I hope.


Matt.

Thanks for the reads Chris and Matt.  I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially my script , but I am happy with how this turned out, it was a lot of fun to do, hope to do something like this in the future sometime.

Anyway, thanks again for the read, it is appreciated

Quoted from chism Anyway, to summarise: this script was fucking disgusting. You should be so proud. Matt.

Haha! Wasn't it John Waters who once said that the greatest compliment an audience could give him was to throw up?

Anyway, I'll be reading this one now.