SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 17th, 2019, 6:35pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
Final Standings

Round Five (5) Standings Posted




Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Western Scripts  ›  Paramour's Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Paramour's  (currently 12588 views)
bert
Posted: April 27th, 2006, 11:00am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Buy the ticket, take the ride

Location
That's me in the corner
Posts
4517
Posts Per Day
0.87

Quoted from George Willson
Maybe a scream followed by him saying, "Oh my God, yes!"



Quoted from Tomson
Don't listen to George...


Yes...it's becoming clear that George has spent a little too much time hanging out with Andrew, isn't it?


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
Logged
Private Message Reply: 45 - 97
Kevan
Posted: April 27th, 2006, 6:06pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Posts
317
Posts Per Day
0.06

Quoted from George Willson
Maybe a scream followed by him saying, "Oh my God, yes!" Or is that way too much?  


I laughed my ass off when I read this..

The potential for a full-length feature for your script is enormous here, Bert..

I presonally think you should weave this little bugger into Starbuck Star, would be really cool..

Sometimes the risky is where the bold writer ventures and can produce outstanding results..

I know it's not probably acceptable but I can't get this little story out of my head now.. Jees.. I like it too much me thinks.. I really do think you have something very special here and you should open it out and explore some more with it..
Logged
Private Message Reply: 46 - 97
tomson
Posted: April 27th, 2006, 8:47pm Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from bert
Yes...it's becoming clear that George has spent a little too much time hanging out with Andrew, isn't it?

He has been x-tra raunchy lately. For some reason a Marilyn Monroe movie from 1955 popped into my head.........darn, can't remember the title right now.

Logged
e-mail Reply: 47 - 97
George Willson
Posted: April 28th, 2006, 1:09am Report to Moderator
Moderator


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

Location
Broken Arrow
Posts
4023
Posts Per Day
0.75
Would that be the Seven Year Itch...aka the one where Marilyn's dress ends up round her ears? And the raunchiness on this thread is clearly not my fault. And as for Andrew, I told him that scene was too much, and then he went and lied to me telling me he cut it down...dork.

And for the record, I was kidding. I'm a big fan of the implied ending...


Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 48 - 97
tomson
Posted: April 28th, 2006, 7:39pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Seriously though, Bert.

I think you do your best writing when you let loose a little bit.

You've got all the technical stuff down, now you just need to work on being a little more free in your story telling. Don't restrict yourself and by that I do not at all refer to this sex banter here, but in your general story telling.

Just let it all flow and if it's too much, you can always go back and rewrite. My favorite writings so far is Better Days and All-mart. The Farm to me, felt like you really held back.

Just relax and have a little more fun.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 49 - 97
Kevan
Posted: April 28th, 2006, 8:16pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Posts
317
Posts Per Day
0.06
Bert

Tomson's got a good point there..

You're a fine writer with great ideas..

Keep it coming (no pun intended)..

Kev
Logged
Private Message Reply: 50 - 97
tomson
Posted: June 19th, 2006, 9:47pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



I missed the deadline for the Western challenge back in January by a few hours. Right now I'm tweaking my own script for that challenge so that I can post it soon. This lead me to reread some of the other entries and since we have a lot of new members, is it OK if I bump up this thread? (if not, just delete this post) I really, really laughed at this, not only was the script great, but some of the comments were hilarious as well.

If you are new here and like to read a well written, western short, give this one a try.
I would even go as far as calling this an SS classic.

And don't try to tell me that lesbian western's been done to death!  
Logged
e-mail Reply: 51 - 97
guyjackson
Posted: June 20th, 2006, 7:34pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Thanks to your bump, Pia, I finally have experienced Paramour's for myself.  How I let this pass by me, I have no clue.

Once again, bert shows his "short" skills.  I really can't name a short of his that is even remotely below average.  They all have a good premise to them and usually have a great twist at the end.  

This one really got me though.  I really was expecting something to happen with Ophelia and Paramour.  I glanced at a few of these reviews and saw "softcore" and "great end" so I was expecting to read about an orgy of women, but sadly that was not the case.  The ending was a classic bert ending and ends in that clever abrupt fashion it always does.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 52 - 97
bert
Posted: June 21st, 2006, 7:11am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Buy the ticket, take the ride

Location
That's me in the corner
Posts
4517
Posts Per Day
0.87

Quoted from guyjackson
...I was expecting to read about an orgy of women, but sadly that was not the case...


"Sadly" he says.  Do we ever have to wonder where Guy's head is at?

But seriously, thanks for the comments, Guy.  What was particularly interesting to me was this:


Quoted from guyjackson
...and ends in that clever abrupt fashion it always does.


You are so right about the "abrupt" endings -- and it was so surprising to read that.  How could I have never noticed that in my own work?  I do do that alot, don't I?

Perhaps the next time I write a short I will intentionally try to stray from that formula.

I don't know if you thought that comment was "tossed-off" or not, but I pondered on that for a while.  Thanks for the insights there.







Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
Logged
Private Message Reply: 53 - 97
michel
Posted: June 23rd, 2006, 6:05am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
France
Posts
1236
Posts Per Day
0.26
Well, at last, after having heard of it, I read Paramour's. I liked it and found it very subtil. On the other hand, I was a bit disappointed at the end. Of course, the guy deserves what he's got, but my mind went further before I reached the end. Maybe that's my French side, but I imagined Geri and Jessie would cut his-- masculine attribute and turn it into one of their selling items behind the black silk curtain.

Finally, maybe I'm too weird or just too much imagination

Michel


Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 54 - 97
bert
Posted: June 23rd, 2006, 7:56am Report to Moderator
Board Moderator


Buy the ticket, take the ride

Location
That's me in the corner
Posts
4517
Posts Per Day
0.87

Quoted from michel
Maybe that's my French side...


Good Lord, Michel!  I hope you're not telling me that all French are that twisted.

It's a pretty good idea, though.  Pia will probably think it's brilliant...


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!

Revision History (1 edits)
bert  -  June 23rd, 2006, 8:15am
Logged
Private Message Reply: 55 - 97
tomson
Posted: June 23rd, 2006, 9:30am Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from bert
It's a pretty good idea.  Pia will probably think it's brilliant...


I like your story just the way it is.

Just because I had one beheading in one story, does not mean I’m into dismemberment. Maybe a few smashed balls here and there……..that’s just life.



Logged
e-mail Reply: 56 - 97
michel
Posted: June 26th, 2006, 4:23am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
France
Posts
1236
Posts Per Day
0.26
Well Bert, we are not twisted, but imaginative. This is true we have a long tradition of libertine writers like Marquis de Sade, but in fact, we do say what we think.

At your entire disposal for other "twisted" ending

Michel


Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 57 - 97
Parker
Posted: July 7th, 2006, 5:19am Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Yes

Location
England
Posts
322
Posts Per Day
0.07
I read this the first week I became a member of SS and I thought I had said something about it but I've just went through this thread and I hadn't. Hmm, well, I thought it was brilliant anyways. The formatting and dialogue is fantastic. I thought the idea was great as well as the one Michel posted not so long ago, but, I do like your ending better Bert. It suits it just that bit more I think.

Well, it's been a while since anyone said anything about Paramour's and I know everything I've said has probably already been said but I'm sure you don't mind getting another compliment on your script. Once I start reading full-length scripts here again (haven't had much time) I will definitely want to check out your others Bert. Nicely done.


I may be an idiot, but I'm no idiot.
Logged
Private Message Windows Live Messenger Reply: 58 - 97
Scoob
Posted: July 7th, 2006, 7:05pm Report to Moderator
Regular


Location
UK
Posts
805
Posts Per Day
0.15
Very nice Bert, very funny ending aswell!

Left me with a smile on my face, unlike Mr Gold Tooth. Unless, he was into that kind of thing...



Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 59 - 97
 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Western Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006