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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2019 Writers' Tournament  ›  Round 2 Topic & Discussion Thread. Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Round 2 Topic & Discussion Thread.  (currently 9596 views)
Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 9:39pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Welcome to Round 1. A lot of you might say that round 1 blew. Well, let's see how much round 2 blows....

Genre: Comedy.

Location: Sewer.

Object: Whistle.


Good luck.

+++ Submit to SimplyScripts.com/OWC +++


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Zack
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 9:43pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Awesome stuff, Sean. I'ma bring it this round.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 9:46pm Report to Moderator
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Wait. What?


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 9:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
Wait. What?


Comedy which takes place in a sewer (primarily, but not entirely, if you don't want) and utilizes a whistle (as an important part of the story).


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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:02pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, I know a lot of people are going to be asking questions, so I'll try to think of all of them here and beat them to the punch.

1.  Here in the U.S., we think of sewers as those big (or small) pipes running underground carrying all sorts of foul things, primarily human waste and other nasty things.  I take it this is what you're shooting for, and not something in a sewage treatment plant or above ground drainage systems.  The reason I ask is that each country has their own system, and some, none at all (or very primitive).

2. I take the majority of the action (comedy) needs to take place in the sewer or be integral to the story, much like the whistle has to be integral to the story.  But other parts of the story can take place outside the sewer as well.

3.  In all parts of the challenge, the page limit is still 5 pages.

4.  Comedy has to be the primary driving force of the script, but other elements, like drama, can be a part of the script as well?  Like a dramedy?

Anything else I'm missing?

Gary


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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FrankM
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:03pm Report to Moderator
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Sean... which one of the possessed bobbleheads gave you this diabolical idea?

It must be destroyed!

(Quite the challenge. I have no idea what Iíll do with it yet.)


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
Okay, I know a lot of people are going to be asking questions, so I'll try to think of all of them here and beat them to the punch.

1.  Here in the U.S., we think of sewers as those big (or small) pipes running underground carrying all sorts of foul things, primarily human waste and other nasty things.  I take it this is what you're shooting for, and not something in a sewage treatment plant or above ground drainage systems.  The reason I ask is that each country has their own system, and some, none at all (or very primitive).

2. I take the majority of the action (comedy) needs to take place in the sewer or be integral to the story, much like the whistle has to be integral to the story.  But other parts of the story can take place outside the sewer as well.

3.  In all parts of the challenge, the page limit is still 5 pages.

4.  Comedy has to be the primary driving force of the script, but other elements, like drama, can be a part of the script as well?  Like a dramedy?


1. I'm willing to concede that certain countries have certain ways of doing things. As long as the location (or its equivalent) is met, or attempted, it is acceptable.

2. The entire script is not confined to the sewer if you don't want, but a good portion should be.

3. 5 pages in all rounds.

4. Of course. The script should have a comedic slant, but no comedy in history has ever been 100% comedy.


Quoted from FrankM
Sean... which one of the possessed bobbleheads gave you this diabolical idea?

It must be destroyed!

(Quite the challenge. I have no idea what Iíll do with it yet.)


Frank, I don't want to hear it. This one is the second-easiest round I set up here. If you can't do this, you're dead in rounds 4 and 5. =)


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:10pm Report to Moderator
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Sewer can't mean a sewer pipe.

I think he means underground is the "sewers"  Correct?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Sewer can't mean a sewer pipe.

I think he means underground is the "sewers"  Correct?


Yes.


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JEStaats
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:12pm Report to Moderator
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Crap. And I don't mean the sewer content.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:43pm Report to Moderator
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The perfect mix of sweet tea vodka, moonshine, Jager, and Blue Dream has helped me already have my entry pre-laid out in my noggin.

YES!  I will make each new week tie into the last week.  This is going ot be 5.0 material.

Warren may even like it!  I hope,,,
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stevie
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 10:51pm Report to Moderator
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Lol itís nearly 2pm Sat arve here  the owc and this tourney are always announced at this time for me and most other Aussies  I work tonight 5pm till 10 pm so I always think about possible shit to write lol and run ideas off my workmates   I completely ignored their ideas for Rd 1 and I wrote a ripper script lol

This is tricky despite it being my natural comedy genre but itís a good challenge!



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Dreamscale
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 11:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Lol itís nearly 2pm Sat arve here and  my workmates ripped my arse  and I completely ignored them lol

Good challenge for my arse, but it can take it!


Stevie, Bro...we don't need to know this stuff.  C'mon, Man!!!



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stevie
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 11:14pm Report to Moderator
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Lol thanks mate

Good pisser chance here too

A group of amateur writers get lost in a sewer   Their only hope of survival is a whistle hidden in Jeffís arse   Who will risk all to retrieve it? Dustin? Wazza? Or willl Blondie himself save the day?

Title is Simply Shit



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FrankM
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 11:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Sewer can't mean a sewer pipe.

I think he means underground is the "sewers"  Correct?


Wait, we canít set the story inside a person who sews?  

This round is going to take ďpisserĒ entries to a whole new level.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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stevie
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 11:38pm Report to Moderator
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lol Frank we should do a collab



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Warren
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 11:41pm Report to Moderator
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You're an evil, evil man!


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 12:22am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
lol Frank we should do a collab


DON'T DO IT, FRANK!!!!!!



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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 12:29am Report to Moderator
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Lol. I want to get into your head, Sean. What's going on in there... sewer? Oh I have a friend whose last name was Sewer. She was my house agent. Can it be that Sewer?
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 3:09am Report to Moderator
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I'm seeing a lot more dishonesty than usual in the reviews this time around. Anyone else picking that up?

Remember, comedy is subjective... that you didn't find it funny is most likely because you didn't want to. Also, just because you don't find it funny doesn't make it not a comedy. It just makes you unappreciative. It's a subtle difference... but one that may affect scoring.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 3:50am Report to Moderator
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Vomit draft completed.

Fecking comedy....
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jayrex
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 3:58am Report to Moderator
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I like it!

I might find Jeff's comedy ideas whilst I'm down there.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 5:46am Report to Moderator
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The sewer is cool, but the whistle is killing me... Hopefully inspiration will strike


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jayrex
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 5:54am Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Is it an actual whistle or the ability to whistle?


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 6:05am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Lol. I want to get into your head, Sean. What's going on in there... sewer? Oh I have a friend whose last name was Sewer. She was my house agent. Can it be that Sewer?


You don't really want a glimpse in there. But, unfortunately, that Sewer will not count.


Quoted from jayrex
Is it an actual whistle or the ability to whistle?


An actual, physical whistle.


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FrankM
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 6:35am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Vomit draft completed.


Now... including actual vomit.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Philostrate
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 7:05am Report to Moderator
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You're killing me, Sean...

First bobble-heads, now a whistle and a sewer...


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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:10am Report to Moderator
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For me the comedy part is a problem. I can write a drama on that but not a comedy.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:13am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
For me the comedy part is a problem. I can write a drama on that but not a comedy.


Just exaggerate everything. If you find it funny, make sure you leave it in in the second draft... because twice around things stop being funny. Don't be offended when 'reviewers' tell you it's not a comedy... wtf do they know? If you find it funny, it's comedy.
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LC
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Quoted from khamanna
For me the comedy part is a problem. I can write a drama on that but not a comedy.

Kham, you wrote that great comedy about an eccentric young boy - I can't remember the title and it's not in your Sig but you made it high up in contests with that one and I remember your comedic flair.



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leitskev
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:35am Report to Moderator
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I expect there will be a lot of scripts I don't find funny.

But I expect all the scripts will meet the genre criteria.

I'm going to spend a lot less time on this from this point forward. Other work is suffering. I'll still read every script though.
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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:23am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
I expect there will be a lot of scripts I don't find funny.

But I expect all the scripts will meet the genre criteria.

I'm going to spend a lot less time on this from this point forward. Other work is suffering. I'll still read every script though.


You're not writing for this one, Kevin?
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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:26am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for encouragement guys but the idea that came to me is very dramatic. It even made me feel sick in the stomach. I'll try to go with it and if not then not. There's no time for another idea.
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leitskev
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:31am Report to Moderator
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Oh, I plan to, Khamanna, I'm sure I will. Just saying I won't be able to as much time into it. I'm working on a novel and it really suffered this past week.

And thanks for straightening me out on that script I misunderstood!
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stevie
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:36am Report to Moderator
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Comedies shouldnít be edited too much   One draft is enough   If you read it back and itís not that funny then scrap it and think of a new one

And timing is so vital even for a script that is just been read and not actually spoken.

(beat) is your friend



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:39am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Comedies shouldnít be edited too much   One draft is enough


Stevie, Stevie, Stevie... You're hurting my feelings when you say things like that. Why do you want to hurt my feelings?


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stevie
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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Lol sorry Blondie ( I think)  I only do one draft of all my scripts  I handwrite then edit as I copy into the laptop    Keeps it fresh  



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FrankM
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:46am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Lol sorry Blondie ( I think)  I only do one draft of all my scripts  I handwrite then edit as I copy into the laptop    Keeps it fresh  


Ah... a treekiller.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:47am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
Oh, I plan to, Khamanna, I'm sure I will. Just saying I won't be able to as much time into it. I'm working on a novel and it really suffered this past week.

And thanks for straightening me out on that script I misunderstood!


Well, I'm glad your reread it. I'm def a fan of that one.
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leitskev
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:53am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna


Well, I'm glad your reread it. I'm def a fan of that one.


It's so easy to miss things reading through so many stories. I am notorious for it. That's why I keep checking back on other peoples notes.
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eldave1
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I hope someone does a riff on Ed Norton from the Honeymooners who worked in a sewer who'll be  played in the reboot by Ed Norton the actor who's career has gone in one.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 12:21pm Report to Moderator
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Is sewer interior or exterior?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 12:43pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from khamanna
Is sewer interior or exterior?


It's an indoor location.


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FrankM
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 12:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Is sewer interior or exterior?


Might want to use INT/WEIMLP. ďInterior, wrap equipment in multiple layers of plasticĒ


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 1:04pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
I hope someone does a riff on Ed Norton from the Honeymooners who worked in a sewer who'll be  played in the reboot by Ed Norton the actor who's career has gone in one.


Dave, you're killing me. Probably not too many peeps on here that remember that.
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khamanna
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I'm on the third page and oh, there's a whistle!
It's good I'm coming here to read this thread.

Now where do we shove that one...
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eldave1
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Quoted from JEStaats


Dave, you're killing me. Probably not too many peeps on here that remember that.


Twas a classic


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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leitskev
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 2:35pm Report to Moderator
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I was kicking around a few ideas, coming back to my laptop every couple hours. Suddenly one of them evolved into what I thought was going to be very funny. And a fully developed story for 5 pages.

Then it hit me: I don't have a sewer or a whistle in this!

Back to the drawing board.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 2:44pm Report to Moderator
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Is there a significant difference between a comedy and a pisser?

There's definitely more than a hint of piss in mine.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 2:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Is there a significant difference between a comedy and a pisser?

There's definitely more than a hint of piss in mine.


Sure. Comedies are intentional (most times) and pissers (good ones) are unintentional.

As long as that piss comes from the location...

That said, comedy is comedy.


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PrussianMosby
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 5:12pm Report to Moderator
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To the non-comedy writers it's only manageable to hide their stuff. Go pisser or somewhere., just surviveÖ imo



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Zack
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 7:30pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Man, I thought round 1 was tough. I've got a pretty crazy idea and I'm just gonna run with it. Apologies in advance, this is gonna get gross.



An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Warren
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:05pm Report to Moderator
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I'm drawing a complete blank at this point, haven't even got a seed of an idea.

I'm thinking I might be out :/

I know I still have time, but damn this is a tough one.


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khamanna
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:19pm Report to Moderator
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Well I wrote something. And not going to force myself to change anything to fit the genre or what you people think constitutes a comedy.
I may rewrite Monday.
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:26pm Report to Moderator
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I've written a page and a half of shit.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 8:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
I've written a page and a half of shit.


Well...that's half the content. Ba-dum-dum.

I'm just warming up
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khamanna
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I treated shit with respect to avoid a pisser
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Zack
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:12pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from khamanna
I treated shit with respect to avoid a pisser


Lol What!?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
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Simple.  LOVE this week challenge.

Haven't efen thought about opening up my writing software, but I'm almost done in my head.

This is 5.0 materail, here, peeps.  Please score appropriately!!

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Zack
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 10:14pm Report to Moderator
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My goal was to write a 2 pager this round. First draft clocks in at 9 pages. Lol. Fuck.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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FrankM
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 10:43pm Report to Moderator
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I have an idea.

Itís a terrible idea, but itís mine.

Not quite done typing it up, but looks like five pages might just contain this thing.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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PrussianMosby
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 10:57pm Report to Moderator
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Haha, Dream, haven't you thought about a sequel? --- I guess at least, it's title name heaven. Sink Two, revenge of the Shits or etc.. It'll be pretty vulgar.




Revision History (1 edits)
PrussianMosby  -  June 9th, 2019, 12:41am
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 8th, 2019, 11:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PrussianMosby
Haha, Dream, haven't you thought about a sequel? --- I guess at least, it's title name heaven. Sink Two, revenge of the Shiths or etc.. It'll be pretty vulgar.


I will be changing my title and logline as soon as week 1 voting is done, and yes, this will be a sequel to my 1st.

You think you know mine...you may be right.  I don't know anyone's so far.

I tried to disguise my writing in week 1.  In week 2, you will all be stumped...even Stumnpzian!


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PrussianMosby
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Quoted from Dreamscale


I will be changing my title and logline as soon as week 1 voting is done, and yes, this will be a sequel to my 1st.

You think you know mine...you may be right.  I don't know anyone's so far.


Just a guess of course but I've noticed a style I could connect with you, yes. It's even the most memorable story of the round for meÖ so I hope I'm correct. Not saying that someone should write that kind of entertainment though. It's truly a testament of misbehave, haha



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JEStaats
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 1:50am Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Phew, I think I'm done. Way too soon to submit though. I better let this one simmer overnight. At least until I sober up. Tanqueray and tonics tonight.

WWJD?

What would Jeff do? Damn the torpedoes!

But maybe I'll want to change my title. Or logline. Or font.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 2:42am Report to Moderator
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The five page limit when dialogue and characters are the main criteria is hard. Too hard imo. Dialogue uses so much space on the page.
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Zack
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 2:53am Report to Moderator
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Got mine under 5 pages. Holy Hell that was tough. I like what I've got. Definitely different than my usual.

I've got a strong feeling people will be both offended and disgusted by it. I blame Sean.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 3:24am Report to Moderator
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Comedy doesn't mean dialogue-heavy. Just look at Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd. An inventive writer could use just one charcater, the whistle and the sewer. Minimal dialogue... if any needed at all.

No matter what you do... 50% of the writers here will not laugh once while reading. Many will not even crack a smile.
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Matthew Taylor
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Quoted from Warren
I'm drawing a complete blank at this point, haven't even got a seed of an idea.

I'm thinking I might be out :/

I know I still have time, but damn this is a tough one.


Come on Warren, you can do it!

Get that thinking cap on. What different types of whistle are there? Different ways of getting into a sewer? Mix in another genre, Romcom - meet cute in a sewer. 50's horror parody - creature from the black sewer.

Get it written!


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 4:25am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
Comedy doesn't mean dialogue-heavy. Just look at Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd. An inventive writer could use just one charcater, the whistle and the sewer. Minimal dialogue... if any needed at all.

No matter what you do... 50% of the writers here will not laugh once while reading. Many will not even crack a smile.


Dialogue and Characters are 40% of the Criteria in the comp. Having minimal dialogue is risking it because even with the best will in the world, it's hard to give high scores for Dialogue if there isn't any,

I mean, none of this matters. It's just for fun. But you try to play up to the rules and the way they're laid out, there's an inherent bias towards wanting good dialogue, not just dialogue that works for the story.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 4:26am Report to Moderator
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Anyway, I'm done.

5 pages.
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jayrex
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 4:46am Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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I'm done too.

Will wait to submit tonight/tomorrow.


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stevie
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 5:53am Report to Moderator
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Lol ironically my script isnít as funny as my Rd 1 one.

The toughest part is keeping it to 5 pages    Had to cut a lot of the funny stuff in this one without sacrificing the Ďstoryí lol



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AnthonyCawood
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Scar - it's quality of dialogue that's been scored, could technically get a 5 with just one killer word.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Warren
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 5:57am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


Come on Warren, you can do it!

Get that thinking cap on. What different types of whistle are there? Different ways of getting into a sewer? Mix in another genre, Romcom - meet cute in a sewer. 50's horror parody - creature from the black sewer.

Get it written!


Actually just finished scribbling down an idea, I'll sleep on it and try get it into a script tomorrow.

I apologise in advance. It's not going to be my best work.


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jayrex
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 6:02am Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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I was feeling kinda hesitant with this one.  Now I'm loving the round.  Can't wait to get going.

I've submitted mine just in case of PC failures.


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Philostrate
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 6:19am Report to Moderator
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I'm dry .

I could try to write a pisser, but I don't feel like it.


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 6:21am Report to Moderator
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I'm away for the weekend and still have nothing... Ages to go though


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 7:47am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Scar - it's quality of dialogue that's been scored, could technically get a 5 with just one killer word.


I get the theory, I'm just struggling to reconcile it with reality.

A script can be brilliant with either no dialogue, or almost completely dialogue. And everything in between.


So a script with zero dialogue is a 5 basically by default because there's no way of determining otherwise. And a script with a lot of brilliantly constructed dialogue is a 5.

What if the silent script doesn't quite work, do we take points just off the story, or  dialogue as well? How do you determine if the problem was a weakness in structure and visuals(story) or in the absence of dialogue explaining things?

What about a very good script that requires minimal dialogue, but that minimal dialogue is fairly poor? Is that a 1? Should they just have cut the few lines to get the default 5 if there's no dialogue at all?

I'm overthinking things, I'm just finding it all a bit hard to score tbh.  


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 9:02am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
So a script with zero dialogue is a 5 basically by default because there's no way of determining otherwise. And a script with a lot of brilliantly constructed dialogue is a 5.


This is my method (or would be, if I were taking part). A script with no dialogue doesn't get a 5 by default. It gets a 5 if the dialogue weren't necessary. If you add more, just to add it, it'll feel superfluous and that'll probably lower your score in other people's eyes.


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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 9:12am Report to Moderator
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So there's a leaderboard, just not one we can see, correct?  Or will we see one before the tournament ends?


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 9:31am Report to Moderator
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I see your point on the extreme of there being no dialogue. How do you score that? As Mr Blonde said, if the story works fine without dialogue then that should be a 5. If there are parts you feel are weak and let down by there being no dialogue then take points off. It's really up the individual reviewer how they score that.

Can a comedy story work in 5 pages? Of course it can. It doesn't need to be dialogue or character heavy, it simply needs to work well. That's the hard part. You're overthinking this.

I have to hand it to all of you. It's very, very easy me sitting here writing this down. I don't have to do it. It's a nice exercise... but I prefer to be paid for that kind of stress.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 9:46am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
So there's a leaderboard, just not one we can see, correct?  Or will we see one before the tournament ends?


I'll post up the leaderboard after voting for round 1 ends. It will be visible for everyone, but the scores themselves won't be posted until it's over.


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JEStaats
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 11:07am Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Phew! Submitted. Time to get on with my day.
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khamanna
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 11:26am Report to Moderator
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Oh, joy, people are writing for this!

I finished, too. I don't guarantee that you'll understand the story though. But if you do it's beautiful. One of the better writers would make you but I wrote it the way God put it on my heart. He puts I write, there's nothing more to it!
I wish these two days went by faster as I'm curious for the reactions.

Hey, for one of those we need to agree and name one of the characters Sean! I would have done it for this one but can't do it alone.
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khamanna
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 11:27am Report to Moderator
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Oh,  and I'm very curious to see what you came up with. See your shitty scripts in two days.
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ReneC
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I have a barebones idea now. No opportunity to write though. Hopefully I can start it later today and see how it fleshes out. This one is tough for sure.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 12:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
This one is tough for sure.


I promise everyone should have a nice, easy round next week. If it's not, I'm really going to be worried for you guys in weeks 4 and 5.


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eldave1
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 12:28pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna

Hey, for one of those we need to agree and name one of the characters Sean! I would have done it for this one but can't do it alone.


You inspired me. That would have been cute. Maybe each writer would be assigned a SS Peep as a main character.


               TO DREAMSCALE WITH LOVE

FADE IN:

INT. MUNICIPAL WATER SEWER - NIGHT

Darker than an OWC challenge set in a cave.  

DREAMSCALE (45?), beer belly, the epitome of gender-neutral, paces along the concrete walkway alongside the river of piss and shit.  

ELDAVE (63), the last drops of testosterone left his body a decade ago, lumbers behind him. You can just tell he's a know it all type with skin that is nearly opaque. He's essentially unfilmable.

Dreamscale stops, bends over - retrieves a bound, sewage-stained, script from the concrete walkway.  He takes a sniff - then opens the script.

DREAMSCALE
Shit!

ELDAVE
What'd you expect? We're in a sewer.

DREAMSCALE
Not the smell. The writing.
(holds up script)
First page. Two orphans!

ELDAVE1
And...?

Dreamscale stops - thumps Dave on the chest.

DREAMSCALE
Two lines per page. That means two-hundred lines per script.
That means it's one-hundred and twenty pages long when it
could have easily been one hundred and ten.
(thumps his chest)
You get me, bro?

Dave just stands there - blinks his eyes. Crickets.

Dreamscale resumes his walk as he reads the script.

Eldave follows behind.

DREAMSCALE
Jesus Christ! Plus two wrylies on page three.
(points at water)
It belongs in the sewer.

Eldave stays in place as Dreamscale marches on. The script
he tossed slowly floats back towards Eldave.

Through the murky water we see the blurry title: "CASA BLANCA."

DREAMSCALE (O.S)
(calling back)
Probably filled with a bunch of We sees and camera
directions too.

A whistle SQUEALS in the distance.

A manhole cover is removed, illuminating the sewer.
Dreamscale points to the opening.

DREAMSCALE
I'm out!



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts

Revision History (1 edits)
eldave1  -  June 9th, 2019, 12:38pm
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 12:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1

INT. MUNICIPAL WATER SEWER - NIGHT

Darker than an OWC challenge set in a cave.  

DREAMSCALE (45?), beer belly, the epitome of gender-neutral, paces along the concrete walkway alongside the river of piss and shit.  

ELDAVE (63), the last drops of testosterone left his body a decade ago, lumbers behind him. You can tell he'd rather be anywhere else in the world.

Dreamscale stops, bends over - retrieves a bound, sewage-stained, script from the concrete walkway.  He takes a sniff - then opens the script.

DREAMSCALE
Shit!

ELDAVE
What'd you expect? We're in a sewer.

DREAMSCALE
Not the smell. The writing.
(holds up script)
First page. Two orphans!

ELDAVE1
And...?

Dreamscale stops - thumps Dave on the chest.

DREAMSCALE
Two lines per page. That means two-hundred lines per script.
That means it's one-hundred and twenty pages long when it
could have easily been one hundred and ten.
(thumps his chest)
You get me, bro?

Dave just stands there - blinks his eyes. Crickets.

Dreamscale resumes his walk as he reads the script.

Eldave follows behind.

DREAMSCALE
Jesus Christ! Plus two wrylies on page three.
(points at water)
It belongs in the sewer.

Eldave stays in place as Dreamscale marches on. The script
he tossed slowly floats back towards Eldave.

Through the murky water we see the blurry title: "CASA BLANCA."

DREAMSCALE (O.S)
(calling back)
Probably filled with a bunch of We sees and camera
directions too.

A whistle SQUEALS in the distance.

A manhole cover is removed, illuminating the sewer.
Dreamscale points to the opening.

DREAMSCALE
I'm out!



Very funny, Dave. Although easier than these guys have it as the character development is already done. Still though, this a nice little freestyle.
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leitskev
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 12:43pm Report to Moderator
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Lol, that sounds about right. Very good!
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khamanna
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Quoted from eldave1

Maybe each writer would be assigned a SS Peep as a main character.


               TO DREAMSCALE WITH LOVE




Lololol, Dave. This is very funny. I wonder how many will pick Jeff as one of the main SS characters. I think he will pick himself, too.
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eldave1
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


Very funny, Dave. Although easier than these guys have it as the character development is already done. Still though, this a nice little freestyle.


Thanks -

Hope Jeff takes it as the homage it's intended to be.

I don't envy these writers - this is and looks like it will continue to be one whale of a challenge. Maybe the most difficult we've had given the time constraints.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 1:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
I don't envy these writers - this is and looks like it will continue to be one whale of a challenge. Maybe the most difficult we've had given the time constraints.


Oh, believe me, if you people keep forcing me to come back and do this every year, this is going to be the way I punish you... Lol. =)


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 1:04pm Report to Moderator
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Fuuny, Dave, and thank you for the age you gave me!  
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eldave1
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Fuuny, Dave, and thank you for the age you gave me!  


Just took a stab at it.  Glad it was on the low side

D;



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 2:39pm Report to Moderator
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I left the "double nickel" world last month.

Damn..how can I be so frickin' old?  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Stumpzian
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Quoted from Dreamscale


I tried to disguise my writing in week 1.  In week 2, you will all be stumped...even Stumnpzian!


I finally read all of Round 1, some more closely than others. Iím thinking yours was the one with Billy Martin. In any case, I liked that one.

P.S. Iím out. Too much going on to comment or think up something for the sewer. Am enjoying Mr. Blondeís Tournament, though. Great spectator sport. Hope he does it next year.



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eldave1
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Quoted from Dreamscale
I left the "double nickel" world last month.

Damn..how can I be so frickin' old?  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I can assure you, it doesn't get any better


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 4:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


I can assure you, it doesn't get any better


Thanks, Brother.  FUCK!!!!

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Dreamscale
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 5:37pm Report to Moderator
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Doing my beast not to go into the week 2 write with 3 hours to go...

SO...

I've been planning my script all day, while I drink heavily and lounge in the pool - 103 degrees here today.  Pool is 85 - PERFECT!

I have my story and characters worked out and even names.  One is named Warren.

I hope to write this early, so I don't go through what happened last Monday evening/night.

I'm shockingly very comfortable this time around.
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Gary in Houston
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Just finished mine.  Also just finished punching myself violently in the head after re-reading it. You have permission to do the same, although your reviews may do the job instead.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Warren
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Quoted from eldave1


You inspired me. That would have been cute. Maybe each writer would be assigned a SS Peep as a main character.


               TO DREAMSCALE WITH LOVE

FADE IN:

INT. MUNICIPAL WATER SEWER - NIGHT

Darker than an OWC challenge set in a cave.  

DREAMSCALE (45?), beer belly, the epitome of gender-neutral, paces along the concrete walkway alongside the river of piss and shit.  

ELDAVE (63), the last drops of testosterone left his body a decade ago, lumbers behind him. You can just tell he's a know it all type with skin that is nearly opaque. He's essentially unfilmable.

Dreamscale stops, bends over - retrieves a bound, sewage-stained, script from the concrete walkway.  He takes a sniff - then opens the script.

DREAMSCALE
Shit!

ELDAVE
What'd you expect? We're in a sewer.

DREAMSCALE
Not the smell. The writing.
(holds up script)
First page. Two orphans!

ELDAVE1
And...?

Dreamscale stops - thumps Dave on the chest.

DREAMSCALE
Two lines per page. That means two-hundred lines per script.
That means it's one-hundred and twenty pages long when it
could have easily been one hundred and ten.
(thumps his chest)
You get me, bro?

Dave just stands there - blinks his eyes. Crickets.

Dreamscale resumes his walk as he reads the script.

Eldave follows behind.

DREAMSCALE
Jesus Christ! Plus two wrylies on page three.
(points at water)
It belongs in the sewer.

Eldave stays in place as Dreamscale marches on. The script
he tossed slowly floats back towards Eldave.

Through the murky water we see the blurry title: "CASA BLANCA."

DREAMSCALE (O.S)
(calling back)
Probably filled with a bunch of We sees and camera
directions too.

A whistle SQUEALS in the distance.

A manhole cover is removed, illuminating the sewer.
Dreamscale points to the opening.

DREAMSCALE
I'm out!



Excellent work Dave. 5s all round


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Warren
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 6:48pm Report to Moderator
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Just flipped open the laptop. 9:45 am, public holiday and I have no plans other than getting something down.

Surely I can make it happen in 12 hours. I have to submit today as I'm back at work tomorrow.


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Zack
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 7:01pm Report to Moderator
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Man, I was super confident about my script last night as I was going to bed. Re-reading it now, this may be the worst thing I've ever written. Can't wait to see what you guys come up with for this round. Gotta feeling there's gonna be a lot of weird stories this go around.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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FrankM
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 7:08pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Man, I was super confident about my script last night as I was going to bed. Re-reading it now, this may be the worst thing I've ever written. Can't wait to see what you guys come up with for this round. Gotta feeling there's gonna be a lot of weird stories this go around.


This go around?

Have you seen the stories in round 1?  


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 7:41pm Report to Moderator
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Finally got an idea, 27 hours left - off we go...


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Warren
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 10:01pm Report to Moderator
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Three hours later and I have something resembling a script that somehow fits the most ridiculous criteria imaginable together.

I think this round isn't going to be kind to me but at least I have something to submit.

Going to have some lunch, let it settle for a bit, then come back and do my final edit.

At least it sounds like most people are struggling, I don't feel so alone


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FrankM
Posted: June 9th, 2019, 11:11pm Report to Moderator
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I have submitted my script for this round.

It stinks.

You have been warned.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 12:27am Report to Moderator
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I'm done, completely done. Polished the turd as much as I can.

And now I can't submit because of stupid Australian internet! (currently typing this on my phone) So frustrating.

Anyway, I'm definitely going to be in.


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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 1:01am Report to Moderator
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I just cranked mine out in under two hours. I don't know if it's the simplicity of it or the lightness of the tone but it flowed really easily. I kinda like it, which means it's probably not comedy, not a good story, and doesn't use a whistle or sewer properly.

I'll barely have time to polish it tomorrow so whatever it is, I'm stuck with it. But at least it's done!


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LC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 1:08am Report to Moderator
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Flowed really easily  


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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 3:24am Report to Moderator
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Finally submitted, not looking at it again until the hate starts rolling in.


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LC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:59am Report to Moderator
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I'm in this round. Yay!
Well, I say that now...


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:01am Report to Moderator
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Congrats, Libby.

Mine is in, also.
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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:07am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
I'm in this round. Yay!
Well, I say that now...


See you in the trenches.


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LC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:16am Report to Moderator
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Well, that's a few of us!
And with 17hours to go.  
Hubby said, write another one. Yeah, right. I don't think so.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:27am Report to Moderator
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You guys always downplay your entries but manage to come up with gold... you're not fooling me.

I haven't started mine yet - I was hoping to get some time today but a finance meeting with the CEO has jam-packed my day. I'll try and pen it down in my lunch, I will lose some serious marks in this round lol


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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 6:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
You guys always downplay your entries but manage to come up with gold... you're not fooling me.

I haven't started mine yet - I was hoping to get some time today but a finance meeting with the CEO has jam-packed my day. I'll try and pen it down in my lunch, I will lose some serious marks in this round lol


ďYouíre typing an awful lot into your laptop.Ē

ďJust taking notes of the meeting.Ē

ďAnd why do you keep giggling every time ĎPriority Number Oneí and ĎPriority Number Twoí are mentioned?Ē

ďPffft! ĎNumber Two...íĒ


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:14am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


ďYouíre typing an awful lot into your laptop.Ē

ďJust taking notes of the meeting.Ē

ďAnd why do you keep giggling every time ĎPriority Number Oneí and ĎPriority Number Twoí are mentioned?Ē

ďPffft! ĎNumber Two...íĒ


Matt angrily jabs the backspace button on his laptop.

CEO
Matt, what are you doing?

Matt
Deleting all these shitty "notes" I've written.

CEO
well calm down, they're only notes.

MATT
Only notes? only notes!

Matt forcfully stands, knocking his chair back.
He points a finger at CEO.

MATT
Fuck you! you don't know the stress I'm under.

Matt storms out of the room.


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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:23am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
I have submitted my script for this round.

It stinks.

You have been warned.



Quoted from Matthew Taylor
You guys always downplay your entries but manage to come up with gold... you're not fooling me.


By the way, this wasnít some head-fake. Donít open it in the latest version of Firefox if youíre sensitive to odors...  


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:51am Report to Moderator
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Well, this is going down the shitter... pun intended.

I had an idea running through my head all weekend, it would be fantastic I thought.

Just wrote the first 3 pages and it's utter gobshite - so tedious and not funny at all.

15 hours to formulate a new idea and get it down... *Cries into his hands*


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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:38am Report to Moderator
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Yey lots of sewer entries!

A good writer would probably check out a sewer before writing about one but not me. I dont even want to google. Its my sewer, I furnish it the way I like
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:58am Report to Moderator
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I think weíre going to have a lot of crappy entries this time around.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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stevie
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:38am Report to Moderator
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Just realised that there shouldnít be any DNS given to any script this round as they wil all be (well they fucking should be) comedies in some shape or form.  Even if they arenít that funny they will still be 100% meeting the criteria. Iím confident of that.

Nek minnit...



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:51am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
there shouldnít be any DNS given to any script this round


You'd be surprised.


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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:53am Report to Moderator
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Yeah, with comedy it could be a hundred percent DNS.
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:08am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Yeah, with comedy it could be a hundred percent DNS.


Unless they forget the whistle!


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:09am Report to Moderator
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Reread mine and rewrote some.  I'm not going to open it again. Now it's your problem, not mine.

I actually asked my friend to read it. And he said that he could smell the feces. Which means I've done well!
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leitskev
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:19am Report to Moderator
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My goal in these scripts is pretty simple: try to make the writing and storytelling enough that the reader wants to turn the page. Very hard to do.

I guess I kind of judge scripts with that somewhat in mind too. If the story doesn't fully grab me but the writing and story is clear enough that I can zip through, it's decent. If the story and writing is good enough that I really want to get all the way to the end, that's damn fine work.
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eldave1
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:22am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren


Excellent work Dave. 5s all round


Thanks, mate - although I risked a DNS for the whistle - very little importance in the story


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:24am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
My goal in these scripts is pretty simple: try to make the writing and storytelling enough that the reader wants to turn the page. Very hard to do.

I guess I kind of judge scripts with that somewhat in mind too. If the story doesn't fully grab me but the writing and story is clear enough that I can zip through, it's decent. If the story and writing is good enough that I really want to get all the way to the end, that's damn fine work.


I'd say that's a very good approach. I do something of the sort. Same as watching an actual movie. It's as good as your desire to continue watching.
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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Just realised that there shouldnít be any DNS given to any script this round as they wil all be (well they fucking should be) comedies in some shape or form.  Even if they arenít that funny they will still be 100% meeting the criteria. Iím confident of that.

Nek minnit...


I DNS'd my own entry, and plan to again this week.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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eldave1
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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Good luck to you all - I would treat each other kindly on the comedy aspect. For my money - the most difficult of the genres.  

Line I am most expected to see:

"Something smells funny"


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:33am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Line I am most expected to see:

"Something smells funny"


This would be so OTN
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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:36am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna


This would be so OTN


IN the nose. Not on it.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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eldave1
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:42am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna


This would be so OTN


Indeed


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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jayrex
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:51am Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Iím just expecting shit jokes.


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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:55am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from jayrex
Iím just expecting shit jokes.


Or people playing shitball. You know, like snowball
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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:59am Report to Moderator
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INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Sean scans the first round of entries on a laptop.

SEAN
My God, all of their minds are in the gutter.

A little ANGEL poofs into existence over Sean's left shoulder. A little DEVIL over the right.

ANGEL
Tsk, tsk. What are you going to do about this?

Sean looks up in thought.

SEAN
If that's where they want to go... push them further! Gutter... to sewer!

Devil fist-pumps in triumph.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:11am Report to Moderator
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There was so much whining about comedy in the last round I also wonder if anyone will dare say a script doesn't meet the genre.

Comedy is specific. It's about tone, tropes, surprise, setups and payoffs, callbacks, repetition, and humour, be it jokes or physical. Jokes are the most difficult, they're often culturally relevant or taste specific.

I was very forgiving for the fusion round. I only gave 4 scripts a didn't meet. This round I'm going to be looking for something that specifically fits the genre. It should be easy.


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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:12am Report to Moderator
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I'll laugh if the riffs coming up in this thread are the funnier than the entries.  


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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:14am Report to Moderator
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So how many jokes per a 5-pager will make it a comedy?
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:15am Report to Moderator
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I just realized you can fart in a sewer and no one will notice
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JEStaats
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:28am Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Quoted from khamanna
I just realized you can fart in a sewer and no one will notice


You forgot about the echo factor!
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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:33am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
I just realized you can fart in a sewer and no one will notice


It might smell better.


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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:33am Report to Moderator
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What would be original would be to set a comedy inside a sewer and not have one joke about the shit or the smell.

Like, I had an idea about a marching band rehearsing in a sewer for the acoustics, but realized I couldnít go a full page without making some reference to the surroundings, so I just abandoned it.  Plus the idea was just ridiculous to begin with.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:35am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from JEStaats


You forgot about the echo factor!


You can always say it's fireworks from the outside
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:37am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
What would be original would be to set a comedy inside a sewer and not have one joke about the shit or the smell.

Like, I had an idea about a marching band rehearsing in a sewer for the acoustics, but realized I couldnít go a full page without making some reference to the surroundings, so I just abandoned it.  Plus the idea was just ridiculous to begin with.


You think it's ridiculous until someone like Wes Anderson films about it.
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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:41am Report to Moderator
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You know, not every sewer is for waste matter...but who can resist?


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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 12:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
You know, not every sewer is for waste matter...but who can resist?


Yes, some are for weed smoking and listening to punk music. Others for long romantic walks. Away from jail or something.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 12:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna

Others for long romantic walks.


I can't think of anything more romantic than a nice walk through a disused sewer.
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leitskev
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 12:37pm Report to Moderator
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Did one this morning. Someone will probably say I didn't fit the criteria because there were no floating turds. Anyway, all about amusing ourselves. In the end I amused myself a little. Hopefully it's an easy enough read people can read it, score it, and forget it.
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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 12:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
Did one this morning. Someone will probably say I didn't fit the criteria because there were no floating turds. Anyway, all about amusing ourselves. In the end I amused myself a little. Hopefully it's an easy enough read people can read it, score it, and forget it.


Breadcrumb!

Or at least... digested ex-breadcrumb!


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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khamanna
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 12:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
Did one this morning.


That made me laugh and for all the wrong reasons. Thanks to Sean I'm turning into an idiot at a lightspeed.

Sorry Kevin, I couldn't resist.
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leitskev
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 1:55pm Report to Moderator
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Lol, yeah, did one in the sewer. I decided to explore as part of the researching of this challenge. The alligators weren't too friendly and I found an old bobblehead fused with some doo doo.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 2:13pm Report to Moderator
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OK, my idea and characters are ready, so I'm starting and hoping to be done well before my girlfriend gets home from work.  This will be better for everyone involved...including all who read this.
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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 2:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
OK, my idea and characters are ready, so I'm starting and hoping to be done well before my girlfriend gets home from work.  This will be better for everyone involved...including all who read this.


You gonna get your girlfriend's approval before you submit? I'm curious what her reaction to your sewer comedy will be.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.

Revision History (1 edits)
Zack  -  June 10th, 2019, 3:20pm
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leitskev
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 2:37pm Report to Moderator
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I think Dave's spoof script about Jeff is much funnier than my actual script. But at least I'm in. I expect it will about as well received as my last flop!
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 3:20pm Report to Moderator
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I'm in, reminded my why I don't normally write comedy!

Ah well, hopefully the remaining rounds will be better.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 3:39pm Report to Moderator
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Well, I hated my entry at first. Then, as I go through rewrites... I'm kind of liking it. But then, I kind of liked my first round entry... and, it's not doing all that well... so, I expect more of the same.

Survival. That's the goal right now. Get some points, stay in the game. Hope to hit on one of the five.

I got 3 scripts out of last year's challenge that I really like. 2 that could someday get made (if the right person finds them), 1 just for me. I'd be over the moon if I could match that this year.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 3:50pm Report to Moderator
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I've never been so stressed about sewers and whistles *Pours himself another glass of port*

I finally had a half decent idea as I left work - I'm now 3 pages into the vomit draft but considering its nearly 10pm here I would rather be sleeping.

PKCardinal, I'm with you - This is now just survival


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jayrex
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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I wonder if weíll have a full house for the second round?


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Philostrate
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal

Survival. That's the goal right now.


Yups, same here.

Just finished my vomit draft...

Let's go guys, we can do it! (says while scared as sewer shit)



Revision History (1 edits)
Philostrate  -  June 10th, 2019, 4:21pm
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:22pm Report to Moderator
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I have resisted so many puns today.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:30pm Report to Moderator
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Submitted. Please forgive me.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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jayrex
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Submitted. Please forgive me.


If itís full of shit jokes, Iíll forgive you.


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JEStaats
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Geez, with all the fear and loathing of this round, I'm starting to feel pretty good about my entry. But, alas, I felt pretty good before the last round, too.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:10pm Report to Moderator
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I'm tired and so I have submitted whatever it is I have. It's not too bad, I don't think... I never know with you people - You will either praise the effort or you will chase me from SS, never to return again... I can never tell.

I promise to be super nice to everyone in my reviews, because this was bloody tough! The first round had the freedom of genre which made it so much easier - but taking a sewer, and a whistle and trying to formulate a complete story in five pages... oh and by the way, make it funny... it nearly killed me!

Well done to everyone who submitted something - I look forward to seeing the story children your brains have birthed.


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


You gonna get your girlfriend's approval before you submit? I'm curious what her reaction to your sewer comedy will be.


Yes, I actually am going to.  Oh God...why do I do this to myself?

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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 5:49pm Report to Moderator
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Finished!

I like it...alot.  That means, you guys will hate it...alot!

Now to go back and see what I actually wrote.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 6:33pm Report to Moderator
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Well...Teri read it...didn't laugh once, handed me back the script, and said, "It's good...much better than your last one."  I asked her if it was funny, cuz she didn't laugh once.  She said, "yeah, it's funny, but I don't feel good.  Good job."

So, I think that's actually high praise!  HA!  We'll soon see...
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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Well...Teri read it...didn't laugh once, handed me back the script, and said, "It's good...much better than your last one."  I asked her if it was funny, cuz she didn't laugh once.  She said, "yeah, it's funny, but I don't feel good.  Good job."

So, I think that's actually high praise!  HA!  We'll soon see...


Yes, it is.

What boggles the mind is how youíve subjected her to so many prior scripts that she hated, yet you two are still together.

From her point of view, itís like dating someone whose hobby is blasting air horns in peopleís ears.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Okay, I'm ready now.

And go...  


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


Yes, it is.

What boggles the mind is how youíve subjected her to so many prior scripts that she hated, yet you two are still together.

From her point of view, itís like dating someone whose hobby is blasting air horns in peopleís ears.


Strangely, she actually really likes alot of my scripts.  She seems to have a problem with graphic violence, nudity for the sake of it, and overt swearing and sexual references.

I tried to keep all to a minimum this time around, and with some clever editing, this thing could be PG 13...maybe.  

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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Strangely, she actually really likes alot of my scripts.  She seems to have a problem with graphic violence, nudity for the sake of it, and overt swearing and sexual references.

I tried to keep all to a minimum this time around, and with some clever editing, this thing could be PG 13...maybe.  



Glad to hear that.

So, SS generally only hears about her reaction when it's hugely negative.

Though now I'm curious what "minimal graphic violence" looks like


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 7:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
Though now I'm curious what "minimal graphic violence" looks like


Well...that's a great question.  I guess, like less than 6 seconds of graphic violence per every, like...uh...4 minutes and 30 seconds of runtime?

Yeah, that's minimal graphic violence...maybe, or kind of, in a way, right?

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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Well...that's a great question.  I guess, like less than 6 seconds of graphic violence per every, like...uh...4 minutes and 30 seconds of runtime?

Yeah, that's minimal graphic violence...maybe, or kind of, in a way, right?



Yes, I think that's the standard for a TV-Y7 rating on broadcast. Have to keep it under four seconds if you want a TV-Y rating


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:35pm Report to Moderator
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Only 20 out of 25 writers took part in round one. I wonder how many will enter a script for round 2? My money says fewer will be in this round. Writing comedy is brutal.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Kevin_L
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:39pm Report to Moderator
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Can people that didnít write in round 1 participate in round 2?
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Only 20 out of 25 writers took part in round one. I wonder how many will enter a script for round 2? My money says fewer will be in this round. Writing comedy is brutal.


How do you know that, Zack?
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FrankM
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 8:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Kevin_L
Can people that didnít write in round 1 participate in round 2?


Yes, someone who misses a round simply gets the minimum possible score (as if everyone gave that person's script a "1" in every category).

As for joining after round 1, that's up to Sean, but from previous comments I don't think he's open to that.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
Yes, someone who misses a round simply gets the minimum possible score (as if everyone gave that person's script a "1" in every category).

As for joining after round 1, that's up to Sean, but from previous comments I don't think he's open to that.


So, if someone spends hours writing a script that everyone hates, he or she gets a 1, and then someone who didn't even bother to spend a second, also gets a 1?

That's not right...at all...

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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


How do you know that, Zack?


Over on the Updates thread, Sean has 25 writers listed. Only 20 scripts in round 1. Though I think 2 writers are partnering up, so I guess that means only 4 writers didn't get something in for round 1.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


So, if someone spends hours writing a script that everyone hates, he or she gets a 1, and then someone who didn't even bother to spend a second, also gets a 1?

That's not right...at all...



I agree. Writers who miss a round shouldn't get any points. If anything, they should be penalized a point.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Over on the Updates thread, Sean has 25 writers listed. Only 20 scripts in round 1. Though I think 2 writers are partnering up, so I guess that means only 4 writers didn't get something in for round 1.


OK, yeah.  I thought maybe some kind of scoreboard was up with 20 writers and their scores for Round 1.  I'm personally dreading that...

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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


I agree. Writers who miss a round shouldn't get any points. If anything, they should be penalized a point.


Well, yeah, but a ZERO score in a week is pretty brutal.  Just so they get less than someone who tried.

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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:31pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from Dreamscale


Well, yeah, but a ZERO score in a week is pretty brutal.  Just so they get less than someone who tried.



I need whatever edge I can get. I say penalize them 10 points. And make'em drink a pickle slushi.  


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


I need whatever edge I can get. I say penalize them 10 points. And make'em drink a pickle slushi.  


  YES!  AGREED!!!

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PKCardinal
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


I need whatever edge I can get. I say penalize them 10 points. And make'em drink a pickle slushi.  


But, what if they like pickle slushies?

Could happen.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Zack
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:41pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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How could anyone like such a thing?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 9:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


How could anyone like such a thing?


Oh, God. It's real!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:02pm Report to Moderator
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Script submitted. Not sure what I have. Guess we'll know soon enough.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:02pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from PKCardinal
Oh, God. It's real!


Hell, I have to deal with all these psychopaths for actively eat pickle pizza. I don't know what to do about them.


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:04pm Report to Moderator
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Pickle pizza? What is wrong with people!? Have we lost our collective minds!?


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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LC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:55pm Report to Moderator
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5 minutes, stragglers.
Funny, that's usually me down to the wire. Nice not to feel the pressure.


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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from LC
5 minutes, stragglers.
Funny, that's usually me down to the wire. Nice not to feel the pressure.


Surely no one is leaving it this late?!


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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 10:59pm Report to Moderator
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I submitted mine about twenty minutes ago. And I like it, which means half of you will like it and half of you will hate it.  


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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:00pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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And now we wait...


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LC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:03pm Report to Moderator
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We might be waiting a good while...

Although they were posted quickly last time.
See, that's me having a bet each way there.


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Kevin_L
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:06pm Report to Moderator
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How do you submit a script to the contest. I wrote one and canít figure out how to upload? Iím on my iPhone using FD mobile.  
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ReneC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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http://simplyscripts.com/owc

If you're registered for the tournament...


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leitskev
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:14pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Kevin_L
How do you submit a script to the contest. I wrote one and canít figure out how to upload? Iím on my iPhone using FD mobile.  


You might have missed it, Kev. Don't be discouraged. Review some scripts by regulars, do a movie review, get known a little. Next thing you know you'll be sharing reads.

If you got in, great! Make sure to review the other entries.
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:22pm Report to Moderator
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Kevin, even if you missed this, you donít have to be in the tourney to review the scripts. Youíll garner good will if you do. Also, multiple peeps here would happily return the favor. Myself included. Iíll even score it for you as if it were in, just to give you the flavor of how it goes. Gotta have thick skin though. This place isnít for the faint of heart. Itís about getting better, not false praise. Also, watch for the next challenge. Theyíre a hell of a lot of fun, and good for improving.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:24pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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And we're off. Thanks, Don!!


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:25pm Report to Moderator
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WOOHOO!!!!!

The Don once again rocks it hard, and Sean get alot of praise from the Kid, as well.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:26pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Twenty entries! I don't think anyone dropped out from Round 1! Good job, everybody and best of luck!
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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:27pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from JEStaats
Twenty entries! I don't think anyone dropped out from Round 1! Good job, everybody and best of luck!


At least one person must have if Libby is in. She wasnít last round.


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LC
Posted: June 10th, 2019, 11:33pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, indeedy.
Warren is correct.


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Kevin_L
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 9:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev


You might have missed it, Kev. Don't be discouraged. Review some scripts by regulars, do a movie review, get known a little. Next thing you know you'll be sharing reads.

If you got in, great! Make sure to review the other entries.


I didnít realize I had to register. I asked if could I participate even tho I wasnít in round 1.  Someone said yes but my script will not be in the competition  side of things.  Which is fine. I hurried to get it written and couldnít figure out how to upload . Iím using FD mobile on my phone until I get me a new laptop. It started glitching. I finally got it sent to Don few minutes after midnight asking he could turn it in to who uploads the scripts cause I didnít know how or who.  Itís not up so Iím assuming it wonít be. Which is fine rules are rules. Plus after I went back and looked I doubt anyone would read it due to so many simple errors.   I think I had a decent story tho.

Thanks again for the advice ! Will definitely be checking out some stories.


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Kevin_L
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 9:22am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
Kevin, even if you missed this, you donít have to be in the tourney to review the scripts. Youíll garner good will if you do. Also, multiple peeps here would happily return the favor. Myself included. Iíll even score it for you as if it were in, just to give you the flavor of how it goes. Gotta have thick skin though. This place isnít for the faint of heart. Itís about getting better, not false praise. Also, watch for the next challenge. Theyíre a hell of a lot of fun, and good for improving.


Thanks for the advice! Iíll def check out the entrants. Iíve read a lot of comments on some scripts so I agree itís not for the faint of heart.  It makes since. To get your story made or at least a deal,you gotta be the best to beat the best.  If they let me enter on the 3rd, Iíll make sure to know where to send and wonít wait till the last second.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 9:29am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Kevin_L


Thanks for the advice! Iíll def check out the entrants. Iíve read a lot of comments on some scripts so I agree itís not for the faint of heart.  It makes since. To get your story made or at least a deal,you gotta be the best to beat the best.  If they let me enter on the 3rd, Iíll make sure to know where to send and wonít wait till the last second.


This place is great if you get involved. It's good to see you are eager to.

If you can't get into this tournament, this place runs OWCs which are good to get involved in - you can check out the past ones to get a feel for what's involved.


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Don
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 9:54am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from Kevin_L


I didnít realize I had to register. I asked if could I participate even tho I wasnít in round 1.  Someone said yes but my script will not be in the competition  side of things.  Which is fine. I hurried to get it written and couldnít figure out how to upload . Iím using FD mobile on my phone until I get me a new laptop. It started glitching. I finally got it sent to Don few minutes after midnight asking he could turn it in to who uploads the scripts cause I didnít know how or who.  Itís not up so Iím assuming it wonít be. Which is fine rules are rules. Plus after I went back and looked I doubt anyone would read it due to so many simple errors.   I think I had a decent story tho.

Thanks again for the advice ! Will definitely be checking out some stories.




Sean (Mr. Blonde) is running the tournament and it is entirely up to him, alone.  

Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 10:06am Report to Moderator
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As reviewers it is your job to put yourself in the shoes of the recipient. So, if the script is aimed at children, do not judge it by your own humour, instead ask yourself, would the recipient find this funny?
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leitskev
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 10:16am Report to Moderator
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I don't want anyone to think I'm shirking review duty. Will be doing mine at night and I'll need the whole week. Need to get reg work done.
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Gary in Houston
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
As reviewers it is your job to put yourself in the shoes of the recipient. So, if the script is aimed at children, do not judge it by your own humour, instead ask yourself, would the recipient find this funny?


The recipient for most of these then must be people who love boring, unimaginative and unfunny scripts because thatís pretty much all Iím reading so far. And Iím including mine in that bunch.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 11:18am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


The recipient for most of these then must be people who love boring, unimaginative and unfunny scripts because thatís pretty much all Iím reading so far. And Iím including mine in that bunch.


That's too bad to hear, as I have alot to go still.

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jayrex
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 11:32am Report to Moderator
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We all love different kinds of humour.

Sitcom humour is more relatable than say Monty Python humour which is more creative.  IMAO.

Iíll favour wacky comedy over safe comedy.

Weíll also have to think of the target market.  If the script is for adults, children, teens, etc...

From experience, Iíve notice most people here prefer a drama over a comedy.


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Zack
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 11:57am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


The recipient for most of these then must be people who love boring, unimaginative and unfunny scripts because thatís pretty much all Iím reading so far. And Iím including mine in that bunch.


So if you're looking at these scripts through the eyes of someone who enjoys boring, unfunny stuff, does that mean all the scripts will be getting top marks from you?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Gary in Houston
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Quoted from Zack


So if you're looking at these scripts through the eyes of someone who enjoys boring, unfunny stuff, does that mean all the scripts will be getting top marks from you?


Iím thinking of that scene from ďA Christmas StoryĒ where Ralphie has turned in his drab, boring, theme paper, and in his daydreams he envisions the teacher gushing over the poorly written paper and then writing ďA++++++++++++++++++++Ē on the chalkboard while the other students hoist him on their shoulders.

Thatís how I like to think of reviewers reading my crap. But then, like Ralphie, Iím quickly brought back to reality by the myriad of reviews.  


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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ReneC
Posted: June 11th, 2019, 12:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


Iím thinking of that scene from ďA Christmas StoryĒ where Ralphie has turned in his drab, boring, theme paper, and in his daydreams he envisions the teacher gushing over the poorly written paper and then writing ďA++++++++++++++++++++Ē on the chalkboard while the other students hoist him on their shoulders.

Thatís how I like to think of reviewers reading my crap. But then, like Ralphie, Iím quickly brought back to reality by the myriad of reviews.  


I understand you so much better now.  


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stevie
Posted: June 12th, 2019, 11:39pm Report to Moderator
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Will be out of the loop for a few days as heading to my hometown in Victoria for my dads 80th on Sat    Obviously Iíll have net but will be busy lol   Look forward to writing my Rd 3 script on the plane home on Monday lol

Iíve read all the rd2 scripts but havenít reviewed them all   If you want a review plse feel free to PM me   Iím not a fan of the anon thing so Iíll stay quiet lol



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Warren
Posted: June 12th, 2019, 11:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Will be out of the loop for a few days as heading to my hometown in Victoria for my dads 80th on Sat    Obviously Iíll have net but will be busy lol   Look forward to writing my Rd 3 script on the plane home on Monday lol

Iíve read all the rd2 scripts but havenít reviewed them all   If you want a review plse feel free to PM me   Iím not a fan of the anon thing so Iíll stay quiet lol


Where in Oz are you actually from, Steve?


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stevie
Posted: June 12th, 2019, 11:49pm Report to Moderator
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Kyabram in Victoria, Waz  near Shepparton   Two and a half hours north of Melbourne

I left home when I was 18, lived on the Gold Coast, in Cairns now back on the GC.



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Warren
Posted: June 12th, 2019, 11:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Kyabram in Victoria, Waz  near Shepparton   Two and a half hours north of Melbourne

I left home when I was 18, lived on the Gold Coast, in Cairns now back on the GC.


Roger that. My sister lives on the GC. Thought you might have been anouther Sydney-sider.


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stevie
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:13am Report to Moderator
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Lol no thanks   Having one - Lib - is enough  

What suburb is she in?  Iím at Oxenford, very close to Movieworld



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Warren
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Lol no thanks   Having one - Lib - is enough  

What suburb is she in?  Iím at Oxenford, very close to Movieworld


Mermaid Beach, not a bad spot.



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stevie
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:32am Report to Moderator
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Yeah nice

Apologies to all for getting off topic lol



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Warren
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:37am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Yeah nice

Apologies to all for getting off topic lol


Itís pretty much the only thing happening on the boards at the moment, I'm sure no one minds

Safe flight and have a great time. See you in the next round.


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stevie
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:38am Report to Moderator
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Cheers Waz.



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LC
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:39am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Lol no thanks   Having one - Lib - is enough  

I beg your pardon?
I see all you know, now I'm Modding Off, well except when I'm out, or nodding off.. And even then...
There are two of us Sydneyites now, far as I know.


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Warren
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:41am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

I beg your pardon?
I see all you know, now I'm Modding Off, well except when I'm out, or nodding off.. And even then...
There are two of us Sydneyites now, far as I know.


I say Sydney because people know it, I'm actually in Grays Point in The Shire (God's Country ).


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LC
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:48am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
I say Sydney because people know it, I'm actually in Grays Point in The Shire (God's Country ).

Ah, you're in the South.
North, here. Also God's Country. Ha!



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Warren
Posted: June 13th, 2019, 12:50am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

Ah, you're in the South.
North, here. Also God's Country. Ha!



Lots of good spots just outside the city. I'm close enough to get what I need from it, but far enough not to have to deal with it any other time.


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Kevin_L
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


This place is great if you get involved. It's good to see you are eager to.

If you can't get into this tournament, this place runs OWCs which are good to get involved in - you can check out the past ones to get a feel for what's involved.


Hey Matthew ,

Thanks for the advice. Iím eager but I think my eagerness made me stick my foot in my mouth. Just to clarify I meant the Be the best beat the best as a figure of speech. Not like Iím coming on here to show you all how itís done type thing. Sometimes my fingers out run my brain.

Plus the trash I posted in the writing challenge.  Iím not good by any stretch of the word, but I can do better than that.  I have a feeling Iím done dismissed by a lot of people on here. What makes it worse I knew better.  A lot people go by first impressions and I hope for those that see me as a joke let me hit the reset button.  

Iím still may produce trash but I at least want people to see I put forth effort and take writing serious.

Thanks again !
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LC
Posted: June 16th, 2019, 7:00pm Report to Moderator
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Ignore the harsh critics and just keep going, Kevin.


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 16th, 2019, 7:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Kevin_L
Plus the trash I posted in the writing challenge.  Iím not good by any stretch of the word, but I can do better than that.  I have a feeling Iím done dismissed by a lot of people on here. What makes it worse I knew better.  A lot people go by first impressions and I hope for those that see me as a joke let me hit the reset button.  

Iím still may produce trash but I at least want people to see I put forth effort and take writing serious.

Thanks again !


No, we all start the same place and if you understand that, you'll understand that it's all about learning and getting better.

If I shat on you or if everyone did, don't fret.  Listen to what you think makes sense, Emulate to a degree those scripts you think look great and read well.

Most importantly, though, LISTEN TO WHATEVER I SAID!!  HA!!  

Test things out and see how it looks to you, and if you like it, try it out on the boards.  You'll learn alot and if you want to, you'll het alot better, and then, you'll get good!

You can do it!!
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Kevin_L
Posted: June 16th, 2019, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Ignore the harsh critics and just keep going, Kevin.


Thanks for the kind words...I donít mind getting shredded if I put my best effort in. I know you canít please everyone. I wanted to get something down and out to the community to break the ice. A way to kind of introduce myself. Itís like you think youíll the know the outcome then itís totally opposite then the epiphany hits lol.  I should have said hey,Ē Iím Kevin nice to meet you allĒ and left it at that. Lol.

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Kevin_L
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Quoted from Dreamscale


No, we all start the same place and if you understand that, you'll understand that it's all about learning and getting better.

If I shat on you or if everyone did, don't fret.  Listen to what you think makes sense, Emulate to a degree those scripts you think look great and read well.

Most importantly, though, LISTEN TO WHATEVER I SAID!!  HA!!  

Test things out and see how it looks to you, and if you like it, try it out on the boards.  You'll learn alot and if you want to, you'll het alot better, and then, you'll get good!

You can do it!!


Thanks, appreciate that.  I started to think I was going to be shunned before I got started. I like this side of you better than the feedback  side of you. Lol. I named my new ulcer Dream lol.

Thanks a bunch !

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LC
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Yes, don't worry, Kevin. That was the 'anonymous-challenge Dreamscale' giving feedback. This is the more encouraging Jeff.  


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Kevin_L
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Quoted from LC
Yes, don't worry, Kevin. That was the 'anonymous-challenge Dreamscale' giving feedback. This is the more encouraging Jeff.  


Lol... I was about afraid to read what he wrote me lol.
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