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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Shiva - Discussion Part 1 Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Shiva - Discussion Part 1  (currently 7226 views)
Mr.Ripley
Posted: December 26th, 2008, 9:31pm Report to Moderator
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Now, the tribes split. Tragedy. I am also curious how as things go. Can't wait for the nxt post.


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 26th, 2008, 10:15pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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I'm going to make this comment again because I accidentally posted in the game thread and it was deleted.

I really liked the conflict Jayrex created inside the car, but I wanted to bring up one thing:

When Samantha says,

SAMANTHA
And what are we going to do with “the prophet” here?  I think we should dump him.

It seems totally out of character. After all, she herself is a visionary
Having said that, it's an interesting thing to work with because this could be the dark side of people's selfish nature's coming to light. The same thing happened with Colin. He allowed Cordelia to be placed in danger when he had, in the beginning, tried to save her.

She obviously didn't need his help, but he didn't know that.

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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mcornetto
Posted: December 26th, 2008, 10:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.

SAMANTHA
And what are we going to do with “the prophet” here?  I think we should dump him.

It seems totally out of character. After all, she herself is a visionary


She says this because he was just causing her lots of pain by pulling her hair.  She's human, she's allowed to react in a less than generous manner to being hurt.  
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MBCgirl
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 2:16am Report to Moderator
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Some things are better left to the imagination!

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If I might interject

I'm not sure Sam would have said it like that....but she didn't want to have Eddy in the car with them, so maybe she was hoping they would dump him as he immediately became difficult and all they kept asking her to do is control him   I think it's pretty hard for most women to control a guy that is acting out of some weird supernatural strength.

Maybe it's the word "prophet" that is wrong in the phrase and that can be easily changed...I don't feel Sam would think Eddy a phrophet at all...as she saw the darkness around him.

I have realised that I personnally don't have control over what others write about my character or in that case neither do any of us...and that is something we have to let go of and just learn to roll with.   That is what a collaborative effort is all about.  I have learned it well this last week of posts...but I'm all good with it.

I will address and make changes in her character accordingly.  So no worries...it's all good.


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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Mr.Ripley
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 2:22am Report to Moderator
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Would "him" be a better replacement? Since it is about the guy and not the whole vision.


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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MBCgirl
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 2:35am Report to Moderator
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Some things are better left to the imagination!

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My feeling is that Sam sees the darkness around Eddy...she would probably just say "dump him".

Sam's character is very upper class, proper...she says "yes" instead of "yea" she's kind hearted and not bitchy...but Eddy gives her a look at what she "fears" and maybe that can be the reason for her change in character at this moment...plus, once your're bitten, doesn't that mean you are doomed to get the virus and die...wouldn't that be what all of them would be thinking? They can't save Eddy...

Anyway, that's what I think as it falls in line with the rest of the story thus far...it's rather like a chess game...one play affects another.

It's fine where it is at.


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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jayrex
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 12:22pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Cut to three weeks earlier

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Hello all,

Thanks Michael for posting my post up.  Abit different towards the end but hey it's fine how it ends.

Javier


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Orange
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 3:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MBCgirl
.plus, once your're bitten, doesn't that mean you are doomed to get the virus and die...wouldn't that be what all of them would be thinking? They can't save Eddy...



Well, at this point in the global catastrophe I would think that most of the people susceptible to the virus have died off. Perhaps the reason that our characters are alive is because they have some genetic immunity to this virus. Maybe this is also linked to their dreams.

In a game that I am playing there are four survivors and they are immune, naturally, to the virus that turns everyone into zombies so the only way they can die is through blood loss and falling from high buildings, just your normal stuff.

Plus, I could be lying here, most virus's have at least a small number of people naturally immune to it, even if the small number is like 3%. So yeah, i was just under the assumption they were immune, but maybe they don't know that yet. And maybe eddy isn't immune...who knows.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 3:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from MBCgirl
If I might interject

Maybe it's the word "prophet" that is wrong in the phrase and that can be easily changed...I don't feel Sam would think Eddy a prophet at all...as she saw the darkness around him.


I agree that the word prophet sounds wrong. Not on the point that he might actually be getting some kind of prophetic knowledge or vision, but on the point of Samantha's character.

It seems that Samantha might shout in protest with as few words as possible. Also, how angry she actually gets in this scene is something that will reveal a lot about her character.

If she demonstrates that she's all out angry (and she has a right to be) then I think she's a female force to be reckoned with. The fact of the dialogue just a little earlier however shows a typical weak female stereotype when she crosses her hands on her chest and goes along with the decision to let Eddy come along.

After the fact, she's getting ordered to control a guy that seems to have supernatural strength and she didn't want him along to begin with.

I think this scene has tremendous potential from a character, conflict and exposition point of view.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Murphy
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 7:29pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Guys, I have posted my entry.

I hope it is okay, not really been able to find much time to really think about this as much as I would have liked. Christmas festivities and all that! My aim really was just to try and get everyone together and on the road. Unfortunately not really made a great effort of character development, sorry about that but hopefully someone else can pick up on that.

Cheers
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mcornetto
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
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Well done GM.  

And now everyone is introduced.  I wonder when the first kill is going to happen.

Stebrown is up next.
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Orange
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 10:20pm Report to Moderator
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Haha, I love Heidi's character. She spunky. I like that. I laughed when she said... "He never tried to steal my things if that is an indication of anything..."

Good scene had a good feel about it too, in the beginnin, very..aftermathish. Like the calm before the storm...

Anyway, good job Gm.
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ReaperCreeper
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 10:31pm Report to Moderator
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I think it was about time a Heidi-type character was introduced. She brings up some spark to the game.

I liked the scene, despite some typos and grammar errors which detracted a bit from the read. But, good effort regardless.

May I ask, though, why it's only a single scene and not two like the rest of the turns? Or has GM yet to post his second scene? If so, then pay me no heed :p

--Julio
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mcornetto
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 11:03pm Report to Moderator
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Julio,

You are only supposed to do one post.  Exception is the dreams which may split your post.  The two post entries that are too long for one post is sort of breaking the rules, but I'm allowing it this time.
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ReaperCreeper
Posted: December 27th, 2008, 11:07pm Report to Moderator
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lol. xD

I had no idea about that. Since most turns so far have been double-posts, I thought we were allowed 2 scenes per turn. Sorry :S

BTW I was just re-reading all of the NY tribe's scenes so they'd be fresh in my mind when reading GM's scene. I don't know how I could've forgotten to mention this before, but May 17th -- the date in Cordie's dream -- is actually my birthday! lol. Creepy. Sandra, did you do that on-purpose? O_o

I'm really excited to see where the story goes, specially once all the tribes (or what's left of them anyway) get together.

--Julio
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