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My ranking did not match too well with the ranking that came out. Tucker and Dale and the Package came out on top on my list. Just Stop was my favorite, but scored a point lower because of criteria.
So it went: Tucker and Dale 15 Package 15 Just Stop 14 I'm Being Watched 14 Head Case 14
Scores of five were reserved for a script that hit it out of the park. None came close to that.
Hell yeah! Thanks, Kevin! That counts as a huge win for me. You just made my day.
Seems like most people didn't really dig it. I really like what I was able to fit into 5 pages. First draft was much longer. It's definitely something I plan on coming back to for a rewrite, after the tournament is over, of course.
If the package and the robbers had not just conveniently arrived on the same day it would have done even better. Also, the main character needed development. Drinking scotch didn't really connect to anything relevant.
In kind of thought it was going to go down like this: One of the shrink's grateful patients had a premonition his doctor was going to be attacked by thieves. So he sent the monster bobblehead to protect him. The bobblehead attacks the thieves when they enter the house.
Maybe the shrink could be fleshed out in his only interactive scene, the opening with the patient.
If the package and the robbers had not just conveniently arrived on the same day it would have done even better. Also, the main character needed development. Drinking scotch didn't really connect to anything relevant.
In kind of thought it was going to go down like this: One of the shrink's grateful patients had a premonition his doctor was going to be attacked by thieves. So he sent the monster bobblehead to protect him. The bobblehead attacks the thieves when they enter the house.
Maybe the shrink could be fleshed out in his only interactive scene, the opening with the patient.
Originally The Package was gonna be a twist on the classic Trilogy of Terror segment "He Who Kills". I was even gonna title it "He Who Bobbles". The Bobble-head doll actually came alive and chased D.r Goodman around the house for a bit. The sequence with the two thief's was much longer as well.
I completely agree about the characters being under-developed. I really struggle with this aspect. Need to read some books or something, cut I just can't seem to get the hang of it.
I do like your idea about the patient having a premonition and trying to help Dr. Goodman. I may PM you after the tournament is over, if you don't mind.
I've never heard of those films. I really don't have an extensive film awareness. That's why I pay attention when Rick talks films.
As far as character development, we all struggle with that. But one thing to consider is this: if you wrote a feature, and really spent time with that character every day, he would start to flesh out during the writing. Often what fleshes him out is the choices he makes when confronting situations. In fact, often you really don't know your character until he goes through that.
Then what happens is this: when you sit down to do the second draft you have a much better sense of the character, so you make him much more dimensional. Sometimes the character ends up very different than the way you first imagined him.
But in a 5 page challenge there's no way to do that. Let's say you were writing a 5 page challenge for a simplyscripts mug filled with gold. And you had a month. How could you flesh him out? One way could be to put him in situations that would never be in the script and just see what he does. For example, let's take your shrink. What do we know about him? He lives my himself and drinks scotch by himself as soon as the last client leaves. Is he divorced? A widower?
But instead of filling out the answers to those questions like a checklist, throw him into a situation and see what he does. Maybe the answers become clear.
Example: throw him into a bar. He's sitting at the bar by himself drinking scotch. He knows the bartender by name. He knows a couple of the other customers at the bar by name. Does he buy a round for folks? An attractive woman comes in and sits next to him. Is he shy? Maybe she talks a little with the bartender and he overhears she has a problem that he might be able to help with. He tries. Makes a half connection. But then she pulls a gun on the bartender and demands the cash. What does the shrink do? Maybe this gives us clues about who he is.
As you get better at doing these kind of exercises, eventually you can just think them out in your head.
The problem most writers have, myself included, is how to give the OTHER characters, the supporting cast, depth.
A good way to get a bit of depth with very minor characters is to use a stock character, to make them look unique, and to give them a distinctive voice.
A Stock Character is a character who is instantly recognizable to us from other stories; the gruff grandpa, the snooty cheerleader, the bratty younger sibling etc. You can find good lists online. You can, of course, subvert the stereotype as well, but their presence gives a feeling of familiarity built up over centuries that fills the minor characters out just enough where development isn't possible.
Also remember that, as in real life, everyone thinks they are at the centre of the story. That all the events are about them, no matter how minor a figure they are.
I've never heard of those films. I really don't have an extensive film awareness. That's why I pay attention when Rick talks films.
As far as character development, we all struggle with that. But one thing to consider is this: if you wrote a feature, and really spent time with that character every day, he would start to flesh out during the writing. Often what fleshes him out is the choices he makes when confronting situations. In fact, often you really don't know your character until he goes through that.
Then what happens is this: when you sit down to do the second draft you have a much better sense of the character, so you make him much more dimensional. Sometimes the character ends up very different than the way you first imagined him.
But in a 5 page challenge there's no way to do that. Let's say you were writing a 5 page challenge for a simplyscripts mug filled with gold. And you had a month. How could you flesh him out? One way could be to put him in situations that would never be in the script and just see what he does. For example, let's take your shrink. What do we know about him? He lives my himself and drinks scotch by himself as soon as the last client leaves. Is he divorced? A widower?
But instead of filling out the answers to those questions like a checklist, throw him into a situation and see what he does. Maybe the answers become clear.
Example: throw him into a bar. He's sitting at the bar by himself drinking scotch. He knows the bartender by name. He knows a couple of the other customers at the bar by name. Does he buy a round for folks? An attractive woman comes in and sits next to him. Is he shy? Maybe she talks a little with the bartender and he overhears she has a problem that he might be able to help with. He tries. Makes a half connection. But then she pulls a gun on the bartender and demands the cash. What does the shrink do? Maybe this gives us clues about who he is.
As you get better at doing these kind of exercises, eventually you can just think them out in your head.
The problem most writers have, myself included, is how to give the OTHER characters, the supporting cast, depth.
Awesome advice, Dude. Seriously, much appreciated. I'm definitely gonna try this out for round 3.
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