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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The May 2021 Challenge  ›  May Challenge - Round One scripts
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  Author    May Challenge - Round One scripts  (currently 2451 views)
Don
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:12pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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May Challenge Round One


The Intruder by Anonymous - A man is surprised to find an intruder in his house. But that isn't the end of the evening's surprises.  Short, Horror

Feeling Guilty by Richard Gecko - An exhausted man feels guilty about taking a break from a large-scale search.  Short, Horror

Through a Child's eyes by Blank - An innocent Mother/Daughter conversation leads to more than the Mother bargained for.  Short, Thriller

Just a Little Nudge? by The Impatient One - In the near future, a real estate developer plots how to remove an endangered species from some very expensive land.  Short, Sci Fi

Star Light, Star Bright by Anon - A young girl's wish to see her mother again inadvertently comes true with horrific consequences.  Short, Sci Fi

The Shadows by Severus Nettleship - A scared woman takes to the City's shadowy alleyways to escape her pursuer.  Short, Thriller

Smiler by Smiley Emoji - A man with a freakish frozen smile on his face follows a woman down a deserted side street, determined to carry out his duty.   Short, Horror

The Enigma Complex by Riddle Burrito - Two young urban apartment hunters are introduced to the latest style of inner city living.   Short, Sci Fi

Undercurrent by Teresa Green - Things aren't quite as they seem when a family man learns of a tragic accident.  Short, Thriller

Mind the Gap by The Smell of Ozone, Grit, and Broken Dreams - An early morning encounter on a subway platform ends in a flash.  Short, Thriller

The Guileless by #123 - A woman sees a little boy on an empty street in the middle of the night.  Short, Horror

Midnight Mangler by David Berkowitz - In a city gripped by fear, the Midnight Mangler stalks his next victim.  Short, Horror

What Goes Around by Ka-Bar - A killer's past catches up to him.  Short, Horror

Monster by XOXO - A teenage girl is pursued by a shadowy figure after an embarrassing incident.  Short, Thriller

ARC by Not Telling - The night shift at Heathrow's animal centre get some new guests.  Short, Thriller

Shuteye by Nubbins Sawyer - Noisy neighbors in the apartment above keep a man from getting a good night's sleep. If only he knew what was going on up there...  Short, Horror

First Born by Caustic Sauce - A man races to hospital to be at the birth of his first baby.  Short, Thriller

The Sensitive One by Fuzzy Dunlop - Driven to distraction, a man sets out to uncover the source of a mysterious sound only to find some noises are best ignored.  Short, Horror

Kidnapped by Billy Bob - A man finds himself blindfolded and tied up for reasons unknown.  Short, Thriller

Who Killed The Cat by I Don't Know - When the cat dies, somebody has to pay.  Short, Horror

The Sparkly Red Blouse by B Simmons - A young girl plays with her new dolls.  Short, Horror

Final Run by Written by - A quiet day in the park turns into a run for your life.  Short, Horror, Thriller

Swiped Away by No Name - A man digitally haunted for past sins.  Short, Horror

Inside Out by Also, no name - Sometimes you must obey the voice, no matter whose it is.  Short, Horror

Mr. Lamb by Bo Peep - A businessman searches for spirits in his Zoom meeting.  Short, Horror

Nothing To Fear by Also written by - A mother proves to her son the monster under his bed isn't real.  Short, Horror

Hitori by 16644000 - It was only Hitori.  Short, Sci Fi, Horror


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  May 11th, 2021, 7:32pm
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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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So we have...

15 x Horror

8 x Thriller

3 x Sci Fi

26 Total


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Zack
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:26pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Awesome turnout. Gonna dive on in.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:28pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Starting from the top... let's do this!


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:34pm Report to Moderator
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Wow, how fast was that!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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FrankM
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:47pm Report to Moderator
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Stupendously fast turn-around. Awesome job!


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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eldave1
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:59pm Report to Moderator
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When are votes due????


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
When are votes due????

Some opinions here from you all would be good.

The original idea was to drop the next challenge pretty well straight away but with this turnout I think that's not quite feasible or more to the point fair, considering the turnout of 26 is above what I envisaged. Great though!  

Input on how long would help. 24 hours?

They're fast reads, keeps comments brief - keep a tally of your feedback/scores, so you can get your votes in fast.

After Challenge 2 there will be a longer breather to Challenge 3, and hopefully I'll sync it up to the following weekend (not this weekend).Pending Don's approval of course.




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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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I'd be happy with 24 hours.


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JEStaats
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:19pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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I can totally do 24 hours.
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JEStaats
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:20pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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...though you may want to send an email to every writer to let them know since many expect a week.
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FrankM
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:22pm Report to Moderator
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Maybe 48 hours? It would allow for people with day jobs to review more than just the minimum.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from JEStaats
...though you may want to send an email to every writer to let them know since many expect a week.


Yeah maybe we can take into account the read/review count. We don't want to be voting if some scripts have 5 reads and others have 15, just a thought.


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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from FrankM
Maybe 48 hours? It would allow for people with day jobs to review more than just the minimum.


Yeah on second thought I think 48 at a minimum.



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eldave1
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:26pm Report to Moderator
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48 should be the min


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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MarkItZero
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:34pm Report to Moderator
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Is that 24 hours just to read/vote or do notes also?


That rug really tied the room together.
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LC
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:36pm Report to Moderator
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Just a reminder everyone of the genres allowed:

Genre: Horror, Thriller, SciFi


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LC
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Is that 24 hours just to read/vote or do notes also?


Just getting the general consensus at this point.

I've got to duck out now so will get back to you all on time, and consult with Don (and of course what you all think is manageable).


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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 8:39pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from LC
Just a reminder everyone of the genres allowed:

Genre: Horror, Thriller, SciFi


I knew this would come in handy  


Quoted Text
This is what happens when it's a slow day at work...  

Horror

Speculative fiction which is intended to frighten, scare, or disgust.

Thriller

Fiction, having numerous, often overlapping subgenres. Thrillers are characterized and defined by the moods they elicit, giving viewers heightened feelings of suspense, excitement, surprise, anticipation and anxiety.

Sci-Fi

Speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life.

A Twist

A plot twist is a literary technique that introduces a radical change in the direction or expected outcome of the plot in a work of fiction.

A Shock

A sudden strong unpleasant or upsetting feeling a shock of surprise.

A Sting in the Tail

If something, such as a story or joke, has a sting in the/its tail, it has a surprising or unpleasant part that only becomes clear at the end or an unexpected, typically unpleasant or problematic end to something.

Preferably Low

Ideally; if possible.

Contained location, minimal characters. Aim for easy and cheap to produce with minimal SFX.

https://www.wescreenplay.com/blog/how-to-write-contained-screenplay/


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PKCardinal
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 9:10pm Report to Moderator
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At least 48 please.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Zack
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 9:11pm Report to Moderator
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I'm good with 48.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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mmmarnie
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
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48 is great and it rhymes.


ZERO tolerance for RUDE people.
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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 10:42pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Lots of people talking about a twist not being there, but there doesn't have to be a twist...

There are subtle differences between a twist, a shock and a sting in the tail, no?

A Twist

A plot twist is a literary technique that introduces a radical change in the direction or expected outcome of the plot in a work of fiction.

A Shock

A sudden strong unpleasant or upsetting feeling a shock of surprise.

A Sting in the Tail

If something, such as a story or joke, has a sting in the/its tail, it has a surprising or unpleasant part that only becomes clear at the end or an unexpected, typically unpleasant or problematic end to something.


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Zack
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 10:46pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from Warren
Lots of people talking about a twist not being there, but there doesn't have to be a twist...

There are subtle differences between a twist, a shock and a sting in the tail, no?

A Twist

A plot twist is a literary technique that introduces a radical change in the direction or expected outcome of the plot in a work of fiction.

A Shock

A sudden strong unpleasant or upsetting feeling a shock of surprise.

A Sting in the Tail

If something, such as a story or joke, has a sting in the/its tail, it has a surprising or unpleasant part that only becomes clear at the end or an unexpected, typically unpleasant or problematic end to something.


I noticed this as well. Even mention it earlier in this thread. Really hope readers don't give a script a poor rating just because it doesn't have a twist.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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LC
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 10:47pm Report to Moderator
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You're correct, Warren & Zack.

Overall, the story only needs to have an impact, leave a lasting impression, whether it be shock, sting, twist.


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Warren
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 10:48pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Zack


I noticed this as well. Even mention it earlier in this thread. Really hope readers don't give a script a poor rating just because it doesn't have a twist.


Seemed simple enough.


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mmmarnie
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 11:29pm Report to Moderator
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I'm using the word "twist" in my reviews but it encompasses all the things listed. If I say, "for me it didn't have a "twist""...that means for me it missed all 3...twist, shock or sting.  Just using the word twist.


ZERO tolerance for RUDE people.
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Zack
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 11:30pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from mmmarnie
I'm using the word "twist" in my reviews but it encompasses all the things listed. If I say, "for me it didn't have a "twist""...that means for me it missed all 3...twist, shock or sting.  Just using the word twist.


Makes sense.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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spesh2k
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Quoted from mmmarnie
I'm using the word "twist" in my reviews but it encompasses all the things listed. If I say, "for me it didn't have a "twist""...that means for me it missed all 3...twist, shock or sting.  Just using the word twist.


To me, a shock ending and/or a sting in the tail is the same thing as a twist or at least falls close to under the same category. The ending of "Seven" (what's in the box), the final scene of "Silence of the Lambs" (I'm having a friend for dinner), the jump scare at the end of first "Friday the 13th", the tape recording reveal in "Michael Clayton"... though some may considered "sting in the tail", some considered shock endings, there is a reveal of some sort, which, to me, is considered a twist.


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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MarkRenshaw
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48 hours plz! Mad busy at work and trying to read/review script in-between tasks.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Max Ruddock
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Can we still score ones we've read even if we haven't commented?

Quite a few of the scripts I've read are very samey and I don't want to keep saying the same thing.
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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 4:21am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from spesh2k


To me, a shock ending and/or a sting in the tail is the same thing as a twist or at least falls close to under the same category.


I feel like this is when someone says "my truth" but it's still not true

To you that may be the case, but the definitions are subtlety different, but still different, that means they aren't the same thing.


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LC
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw
48 hours plz! Mad busy at work and trying to read/review script in-between tasks.


I think 48 was the general consensus.

A clock will likely appear when we're into the latter 24hr mark.

And it looks like the next challenge may well fall close to or over the weekend.
That's the plan at the moment anyway.


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LC
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Quoted from Max Ruddock
Can we still score ones we've read even if we haven't commented?Quite a few of the scripts I've read are very samey and I don't want to keep saying the same thing.

Max, comment on at least 10, you'll be right.
You can score on any you have legitimately read.
Obviously don't score on those you haven't read.


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Matthew Taylor
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Wow, a lot happens while I sleep.

Great turnout, I reckon I can bust out these reads this morning while I "work" from home  


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Max Ruddock
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Quoted from LC

Max, comment on at least 10, you'll be right.
You can score on any you have legitimately read.
Obviously don't score on those you haven't read.


Roger that! That's what I thought/hoped would be the case.

I just hope there's not too many dark alley twisty turn scarers to go through.
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LC
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Quoted from Warren
I feel like this is when someone says "my truth" but it's still not true To you that may be the case, but the definitions are subtlety different, but still different, that means they aren't the same thing.


There are technically subtle differences imho.

I think we can all agree if someone met the brief, and from what I've read so far, everyone has at least attempted the shock, twist, sting in the tail, and is being fair with their reviews.



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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 4:35am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from LC


There are technically subtle differences imho.

I think we can all agree if someone met the brief, and from what I've read so far, everyone has at least attempted the shock, twist, sting in the tail, and is being fair with their reviews.



I think the vast majority definitely got there with one of the three. How affective the payoff was is a different story.



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spesh2k
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Quoted from Warren


I feel like this is when someone says "my truth" but it's still not true

To you that may be the case, but the definitions are subtlety different, but still different, that means they aren't the same thing.


Yeah, I get that not every movie/script is going to have some kind of M. Night Shamalyan twist or like the twist in Psycho. But IMO, it doesn't have to be some kind of blind-siding reveal to be a twist. Whatever you guys wanna call it, sting in the tail or shock ending, ultimately, something is going to be revealed, suggested or have some kind of payoff and it's going to surprise the audience in some way. I consider the ending of "The Mist" to be a twist, though "technically", according to these rules of what a twist is, I guess it would be both a sting in the tail and a shock ending combined. The end of "Seven" I guess would be a combination of all the above. A twist is made to surprise or shock, isn't it? I don't know. I'm just scoring this shit on how clever I thought the stories were. If I wasn't surprised by anything or shocked by anything, the script didn't accomplish its mission, regardless of how technical we want to get with what constitutes a twist ending.


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 4:50am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from spesh2k


Yeah, I get that not every movie/script is going to have some kind of M. Night Shamalyan twist or like the twist in Psycho. But IMO, it doesn't have to be some kind of blind-siding reveal to be a twist. Whatever you guys wanna call it, sting in the tail or shock ending, ultimately, something is going to be revealed, suggested or have some kind of payoff and it's going to surprise the audience in some way. I consider the ending of "The Mist" to be a twist, though "technically", according to these rules of what a twist is, I guess it would be both a sting in the tail and a shock ending combined. The end of "Seven" I guess would be a combination of all the above. A twist is made to surprise or shock, isn't it? I don't know. I'm just scoring this shit on how clever I thought the stories were. If I wasn't surprised by anything or shocked by anything, the script didn't accomplish its mission, regardless of how technical we want to get with what constitutes a twist ending.


Yeah fair call... No rules though, just definitions.

As with all these challenges the cream rises to the top


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MarkRenshaw
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I've read about 15, will try and get through the rest tomorrow.

So far enjoyed them all, it's just as I found when reading all the flash horror stories a lot of them follow similar themes and twists. It is very hard to come up with something unique in 2 pages!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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eldave1
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Done

Nice effort by all

One clearly stood out above the rest for me. Voted and in!



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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spesh2k
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 2:51pm Report to Moderator
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Read all of them last night, already sent my vote in.

There's some really good stuff here, though a big chunk of the scripts chose the same kinda twist with the pursuer becoming the victim. Didn't take off points for that though, though some did it better than others. There was one clear-cut winner for me and a few that were just a notch below.

Overall, good stuff.

-- Michael


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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Matthew Taylor
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
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My votes are in, I had two favourites this time around.

Hitori had my favourite plot, if only the execution was better it would have had top marks from me. Looking forward to seeing who wrote that one


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Cacutshaw
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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Got through them all.

I found that, probably because I watch too many horror movies (I'm watching one right now) and was reading so many in a row, I got really negative about overused horror tropes. Like as soon as I read that someone was being chased or someone was being haunted, I immediately got way too negative. And I seldom am that way. Weird. I got to ease up on horror being "my thing".

Apologies to anyone I was mean to. Once all is revealed feel free to be super nasty to my script.
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Geezis
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 4:21pm Report to Moderator
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Just spent the past few hours reading, commenting and scoring the entries. Scores now submitted but that was hard going. Lot's of good stories but for me two excellent ones.
I have to admire how people managed to get some wonderful characters created and brought to life in a couple of days.
Kudos to everyone who managed to get a story in.


If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
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JEStaats
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 6:17pm Report to Moderator
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One definitely stood out above the rest, for me. Scoring was a lot more difficult than I thought for all the others. I think there'll be a lot of tie scores for second and third place.

Overall, very impressive first round everyone!
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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 6:27pm Report to Moderator
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Okay... read, scored, submitted.

I feel like I'm on a completely different wavelength for this challenge. I couldn't pick a stand out, half off them follow the same formula and are completely indistinguishable from each other once you've read them all.

Sure there were ones I liked more than others, but that was only comparatively.

But most people seem to be loving a lot of the content, which is great of course, I just feel like I really missed the train on this one.

I have absolutely no idea which will end on top, I couldn't even pick a top 3. That's definitely a first for me in any OWC or challenge I've been in. My top picks will generally land in the top 3 in some or other order.

I think I agree with John in that sense, there will likely be very little separating these scripts.

So a bit of a fizzle round for me. Looking forward to the next.



Revision History (1 edits)
Warren  -  May 12th, 2021, 7:07pm
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Zack
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 6:28pm Report to Moderator
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When can we start guessing?


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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LC
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 6:37pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
When can we start guessing?


No guessing yet, Cowboy!
I have no idea why I addressed you like that.

I'm half asleep.


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Zack
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 6:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC


No guessing yet, Cowboy!
I have no idea why I addressed you like that.

I'm half asleep.


Because, deep down, you know I like to wrastle me some cattle!  


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 6:59pm Report to Moderator
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The boards are on fire... I think we need a 48hr cutoff more often


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Zack
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
The boards are on fire... I think we need a 48hr cutoff more often


Agreed!


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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LC
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Quoted from Warren
The boards are on fire... I think we need a 48hr cutoff more often

Be careful what you wish for.  



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spesh2k
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, are the writers revealed after final votes are cast? Or are the writers revealed after the other two rounds of scripts?


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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MarkItZero
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:06pm Report to Moderator
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I'm working my way through. Got plenty of time still based on that timer. Tomorrow should be a light day so I can get to them all.

Amazing turnout. And Don himself is giving notes on scripts!


That rug really tied the room together.
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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from spesh2k
So, are the writers revealed after final votes are cast? Or are the writers revealed after the other two rounds of scripts?


In the past, in other writer's tournament-type challenges, it's been at the end of each round.


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FrankM
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Quoted from spesh2k
So, are the writers revealed after final votes are cast? Or are the writers revealed after the other two rounds of scripts?


Delaying the reveals makes sense if we're expected to continue in the world created in the first round, but I doubt that's the structure.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
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Quoted from spesh2k
So, are the writers revealed after final votes are cast? Or are the writers revealed after the other two rounds of scripts?

I've been tossing this one up. Along with revealing, or not, top scorers.
I'd like to see as many people as possible move on to the next rounds. After all, you might not peak in this round and go on to score highly in the next two.

What do you all think?



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LC
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Quoted from FrankM
Delaying the reveals makes sense if we're expected to continue in the world created in the first round, but I doubt that's the structure.

That's one for delay.

I think delay might be cool.
Bear in mind the next two challenges are not inter-related.



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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

I've been tossing this one up. Along with revealing, or not, top scorers.
I'd like to see as many people as possible move on to the next rounds. After all, you might not peak in this round and go on to score highly in the next two.

What do you all think?



I personally think it's more fun to know where you stand and what you need to bring to the next rounds if you want to be a contender.

I also think these tourney challenges are about endurance, they always lose some writers as they progress, if that's because people aren't happy where they stand I think that's just par for the course.

Either way though, I'm here for the duration


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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

I've been tossing this one up. Along with revealing, or not, top scorers.
I'd like to see as many people as possible move on to the next rounds. After all, you might not peak in this round and go on to score highly in the next two.

What do you all think?



Maybe Don can make one of those poll threads he does sometimes?


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LC
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Quoted from MarkItZero
...Amazing turnout. And Don himself is giving notes on scripts!

Got Bert to make an appearance too.  



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Zack
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 7:22pm Report to Moderator
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I think you should release the scores after every round. Lets me know how awful I'm doing.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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FrankM
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Quoted from LC

That's one for delay.

I think delay might be cool.
Bear in mind the next two challenges are not inter-related.



I wasn't trying to advocate for a delay, just stating the conditions under which one might make sense.

If the rounds are independent of each other, I'd rather know where I stand. My first round of a multi-round tourney tends to be a disaster anyway.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
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Quoted from FrankM
I wasn't trying to advocate for a delay, just stating the conditions under which one might make sense.....

You're right. You didn't. I was like an overzealous news reporter there.
Carry on.
A decision will be made.



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JEStaats
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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A delayed reveal of writers would drive me to drink.

Too late.
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spesh2k
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:15pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, not sure about a delay in reveals. But if those are the rules, those are the rules. I already rewrote mine and added an extra page and a half. Don't really want the sloppy two-paged version to be up for another month, I literally spent 15 minutes writing it and it's a mess. But if I need to wait it out, I can wait it out I suppose.


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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PKCardinal
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from spesh2k
Yeah, not sure about a delay in reveals. But if those are the rules, those are the rules. I already rewrote mine and added an extra page and a half. Don't really want the sloppy two-paged version to be up for another month, I literally spent 15 minutes writing it and it's a mess. But if I need to wait it out, I can wait it out I suppose.


Oooh, I can relate to this. Sometimes you just want to get those changes out quick!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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ReneC
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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Maybe do something different with the scores and only reveal the top 5. That way everyone else is in the same boat and the same stakes, or so they think. Keep people at the bottom from giving up early.

Of course I have no idea how the three rounds are going to work, so maybe that's not feasible. But I'll be in that boat.


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Warren
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
Maybe do something different with the scores and only reveal the top 5. That way everyone else is in the same boat and the same stakes, or so they think. Keep people at the bottom from giving up early.



I kinda like this idea...


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Zack
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:37pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
Maybe do something different with the scores and only reveal the top 5. That way everyone else is in the same boat and the same stakes, or so they think. Keep people at the bottom from giving up early.

Of course I have no idea how the three rounds are going to work, so maybe that's not feasible. But I'll be in that boat.


This is a good idea.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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irish eyes
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:38pm Report to Moderator
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I've read them all.

Great challenge Libby and Don!


Quoted from ReneC

Maybe do something different with the scores and only reveal the top 5. That way everyone else is in the same boat and the same stakes, or so they think. Keep people at the bottom from giving up early.

Of course I have no idea how the three rounds are going to work, so maybe that's not feasible. But I'll be in that boat.



I second that !


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spesh2k
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
Maybe do something different with the scores and only reveal the top 5. That way everyone else is in the same boat and the same stakes, or so they think. Keep people at the bottom from giving up early.

Of course I have no idea how the three rounds are going to work, so maybe that's not feasible. But I'll be in that boat.


I like this.


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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mmmarnie
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:51pm Report to Moderator
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Well if you reveal as you go and know your score and where you stand I think it's fun to watch maybe someone pull up from behind...like a horse race.


ZERO tolerance for RUDE people.
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Zack
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Quoted from mmmarnie
Well if you reveal as you go and know your score and where you stand I think it's fun to watch maybe someone pull up from behind...like a horse race.


That's a good point, too. Encourages competition.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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mmmarnie
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 11:15pm Report to Moderator
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Reviewed them all. Gave one 5. Looking forward to seeing who wrote what and hopefully being able to write one for next round. My work hours are crazy, barely got this round 1 in.


ZERO tolerance for RUDE people.
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LC
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Quoted from mmmarnie
Reviewed them all. Gave one 5. Looking forward to seeing who wrote what and hopefully being able to write one for next round. My work hours are crazy, barely got this round 1 in.

Marnie, do another to combat the 'peen fest' as Don calls it.Well, something like that...

If it helps any, it looks like (the way things are going) the next rounds will be into the weekend writing challenges.



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mmmarnie
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Quoted from LC

Marnie, do another to combat the 'peen fest' as Don calls it.Well, something like that...

If it helps any, it looks like (the way things are going) the next rounds will be into the weekend writing challenges.



I figured the next round would be over the weekend which means I'm probably out. Life of a bartender.  



ZERO tolerance for RUDE people.
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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 12:22am Report to Moderator
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Do we have a set date/time when round 2 will drop?


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ReneC
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My next two weekends are fairly busy, but I'm determined to carve out some time to write. Glad the reading isn't over a weekend, that'd be a hard thing to do for me.


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LC
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Quoted from Warren
Do we have a set date/time when round 2 will drop?

Still 23 hrs on that clock to read and get ballots in, so...






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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 12:52am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

Still 23 hrs on that clock to read and get ballots in, so...






So... 23 hrs?  


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LC
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Quoted from mmmarnie
I figured the next round would be over the weekend which means I'm probably out. Life of a bartender.  

Hmm, bit of leeway maybe.
We shall see. I hope you can wangle it.


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LC
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Quoted from Warren
So... 23 hrs?  

You just never know.
...
Hope you'll stay in Rene.


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MarkRenshaw
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:57am Report to Moderator
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Phew, got through them and voted. Pretty much all the stories and twists I'd seen multiple times (my own included) in the bunch of flash horrors I researched beforehand, which is totally understandable. So I've based my scoring on if they managed to give a new spin on well-trodden tales, as well as the writing and characters.

Well done to all who entered and wow, what great feedback in such short time!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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irish eyes
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 9:27am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mark
Pretty much all the stories and twists I'd seen multiple times



There was lot of running away which lead to role reversal


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Matthew Taylor
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Quoted from irish eyes



There was lot of running away which lead to role reversal


Note to self: Next time, take the first few ideas that pop into my head and throw 'em away, someone else has thought of it lol


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ReneC
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


Note to self: Next time, take the first few ideas that pop into my head and throw 'em away, someone else has thought of it lol


Ditto. In hindsight, it was a pretty obvious trope.  


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ReneC
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Done and voted.

While the challenge parameters looked good on paper, there is only so much you can do with a twist in two pages. It would be interesting to do another round of the same thing though to see how far we could take it. But that sounds like homework, so never mind.  


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Gum
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 3:31pm Report to Moderator
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Read them all, twice. Reviewed them all (at least I’m 99.99999% sure I did?) and submitted my votes. Had a few in the top scoring, and no script will ever get a poor or DQ vote from me cause, well… they won’t.

Anyway, fun challenge but, man, the lower the page count the more difficult it is to come up with something that fits the bill, at least for me it is, and the best direction to take the script always comes after I’ve posted, and usually somewhere between the first and second review, but never before I hit submit… kind of a Murphy’s Law thing that I just can’t escape. Curious to see who wrote what.


My scripts and templates: Obfuscation
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MarkItZero
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 3:40pm Report to Moderator
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Finished! Good first round. M. Night Shyamalan would have a raging hard-on from all these twists.


That rug really tied the room together.
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JEStaats
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 4:00pm Report to Moderator
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So, if we take LC and Don out of the mix of reviewers, I'm guessing that 22 out of 26 writers that entered provided the majority of the comments. That's pretty incredible compared to most challenges.

But...

Being a multi-challenge event, do we let the non-reviewing writers skate on this and enter the next couple challenges or...

Do we get a rope?
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Zack
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:01pm Report to Moderator
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Usually, I have no problem waiting to respond to reviews for my scripts. But this time, it's really hard to bite my tongue.  

It's tough, but I'll stay strong.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Usually, I have no problem waiting to respond to reviews for my scripts. But this time, it's really hard to bite my tongue.  


It is tough sometimes,  the urge to 'set people straight and explain a few things' can be powerful. The way I try to view it is I have one shot at impressing a producer or judge in a competition and they won't  reply or even read my reply to their review. All I can do is take their notes and either use them to write a new draft, or ignore them.

Although this OWC isn't that scenario I find it good practise. If someone doesn't understand some of the story or finds it too similar to something else out there, that's my problem and not theirs.

Still, it is nice to say a few things, even if it doesn't change anyone's opinion.



For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:16pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from irish eyes



There was lot of running away which lead to role reversal


So, so many.


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ReneC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Usually, I have no problem waiting to respond to reviews for my scripts. But this time, it's really hard to bite my tongue.  

It's tough, but I'll stay strong.


I hear ya.  


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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:50pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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So... 5 hrs till the next challenge announcement?  


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LC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:53pm Report to Moderator
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Keep biting that tongue, Zack.

We all know how difficult it is to not comment on our work in anon challenges.

...

The other thing is this:

Recurring or similar mechanics in storylines -

Try to vote on the merits of each individual entry, how it was written, if it would make a good film e.g. be a crowd pleaser - despite being a similar concept to another re role reversal, woman/man in peril etc.

Quite a few of these would be attractive to Producers on low budgets.
We'll see, anyway...

I think everyone did a great job with Round 1.


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FrankM
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 6:55pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
I think everyone did a great job with Round 1.


Did you miss my entry?


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
Did you miss my entry?





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Matthew Taylor
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Usually, I have no problem waiting to respond to reviews for my scripts. But this time, it's really hard to bite my tongue.  

It's tough, but I'll stay strong.


I hear ya! I just read one of the most ridiculous lines of commentary on one of my scripts and want to reply so bad lol
(not the most ridiculous mind, that prize goes to someone who complained there were no office phones in my script even tho there was no need for them, and my protag was deaf)


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Zack
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


I hear ya! I just read one of the most ridiculous lines of commentary on one of my scripts and want to reply so bad lol
(not the most ridiculous mind, that prize goes to someone who complained there were no phones in my script even tho there was no need for them, and my protag was deaf)





WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


I hear ya! I just read one of the most ridiculous lines of commentary on one of my scripts and want to reply so bad lol
(not the most ridiculous mind, that prize goes to someone who complained there were no office phones in my script even tho there was no need for them, and my protag was deaf)


Ooh. That makes me nervous. I hope it wasn't me. (Please don't be me. Please don't be me...)


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:15pm Report to Moderator
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Done and voted.

Whew. That was tougher than I anticipated.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


Ooh. That makes me nervous. I hope it wasn't me. (Please don't be me. Please don't be me...)


Ha! It wasn't you, your comments are always spot on  


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Zack
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:27pm Report to Moderator
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Voted and submitted.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


I hear ya! I just read one of the most ridiculous lines of commentary on one of my scripts and want to reply so bad lol


Can you really blame the reader for their interpretation of your script, I mean in general?

I also get somewhat frustrated at the comments, but largely ignore the ones I disagree with, however I don't blame the reader for having a specific opinion, each to their own.

I think another reality is that people potentially hammer through the scripts and subtlety or themes may be missed. Again I don't blame the reader for this, this is a free challenge with people offering their thoughts freely. I'd be more upset if a paid script reviewer missed something that was completely obvious, but here you get what you paid for.


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Cacutshaw
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 7:57pm Report to Moderator
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In my script I'm very guilty of people misunderstanding it. I'm totally to blame.

I cut a or shortened a couple lines so it could make the 2 page limit, and I now realize I should've cut other ones.
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FrankM
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cacutshaw
In my script I'm very guilty of people misunderstanding it. I'm totally to blame.

I cut a or shortened a couple lines so it could make the 2 page limit, and I now realize I should've cut other ones.


A saw more than once people cut FADE IN and FADE OUT to cheat on space. Thanks for taking the high road


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Cacutshaw
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:28pm Report to Moderator
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A couple of my Transitions definitely took a hit too  
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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:29pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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So at the very least I'm guessing we can start guessing in 3.5 hrs?


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ReneC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


A saw more than once people cut FADE IN and FADE OUT to cheat on space. Thanks for taking the high road


No. You don't need to have them, just like you no longer need CUT TO: between every scene. Screenwriting is evolving. But of course you can still include them.


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ReneC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


I hear ya! I just read one of the most ridiculous lines of commentary on one of my scripts and want to reply so bad lol
(not the most ridiculous mind, that prize goes to someone who complained there were no office phones in my script even tho there was no need for them, and my protag was deaf)


I hope it was me.  


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Cacutshaw
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
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Probably me. I was going through so many in a row I was becoming a regular Ebert on a bad day.
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Zack
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:58pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from Warren
So at the very least I'm guessing we can start guessing in 3.5 hrs?


Bring it on.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
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LC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 9:05pm Report to Moderator
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I'm waiting on clarification on a couple of things from Don.

Plus a few stragglers remain with their votes to come.
Get 'em in guys! You know who you are.


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LC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 10:04pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
So at the very least I'm guessing we can start guessing in 3.5 hrs?

Start the guessing if you've voted.

Neglected to sticky it, but it's up now!
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-0521/m-1620956541/



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Warren
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 10:09pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from LC

Start the guessing if you've voted.

Neglected to sticky it, but it's up now!
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-0521/m-1620956541/



Done and Done


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FrankM
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 11:54pm Report to Moderator
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Five minutes left... are we still actually waiting on anyone?


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 11:58pm Report to Moderator
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A few, yes. Hurry up slowpokes.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 2:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren

Can you really blame the reader for their interpretation of your script, I mean in general?


No not at all (I'm used to that from how Vacuum performed in the last challenge lol)

The one I'm talking about was just a ridiculous comment at the end of their review (but I've now slept since reading it so it's all good lol)


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 2:22am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC


I hope it was me.  


It was you!!! Just kidding

I love your reviews of scripts (not just on mine) they are very insightful and it's clear you've actually read the scripts carefully


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