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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2019 Writers' Tournament  ›  Writers' Tournament Round Three (3) Scripts.†† Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Writers' Tournament Round Three (3) Scripts.††  (currently 5162 views)
Don
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:08pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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A Liver Short by Anonymous23 - An upscale meat purveyor serves their product just in time. - Short, Horror

Out of the Mist by Jane Goodall - When a company jet crashes near the Congo River, the survivors find themselves in a fight for their lives. - Short, Horror

The Belly of the Beast by O Captain! My Captain! - After a couple survive a horrific plane crash, they find that the nightmare has only just begun. - Short, Horror

From the Light to the Sheyd by Not Kosher - An airline hijacker underestimates just how serious his hostages are about keeping holy the Sabbath. - Short, Horror

Terror From The Sky by Anonymous22 - While getting trashed in the woods, three dumb teenagers unwittingly get caught up in a military experiment that's gone terribly wrong. - Short, Horror

Ungodliness by Mr. Clean - If cleanliness is next to Godliness, what evil lurks in filth? - Short, Horror

The Red Weed by H. G. Wells - When a mysterious flora takes over the planet, one survivor will do anything to stay alive. - Short, Horror

3 Hail Marys by Anonymous21 - A young naval aviator deals with the personal aftermath of an attack on his task force. - Short, Horror

Paradise Airlines by Anonymous29 - Travel just got a whole worse with Paradise Airlines - Short, Horror

What Would You Do...? by Jett Black - A germophobe's courage is tested when he has to make a life and death choice. - Short, Horror

Virus by Vaccine - The use of hand sanitizer is meant to prevent viruses, not spread them! - Short, Horror

Mayday by Titus Porosus - A simple crop spraying trip goes well and truly south... - Short, Horror

Spore by Anonymous20 - An Elite Brazilian Airborne Rescue Squadron and a renowned Medical Officer must team up to search for the survivors of a plane crash in the Amazon Jungle, but the jungle holds secrets that may be worse than any plane crash. - Short, Horror

Reaper's Disease by D.H. Happins - A passenger of a flight wants to cleanse his body, and the bodies of all those around him. - Short, Horror

Ghost Plane by Arthur Sleep - An alcoholic wakes up on his flight to find himself embroiled in a fight with evil 35,000 feet in the air. - Short, Horror

A Dark Reflection by Reinhold Messner - Death isn't always the worst thing that can happen to you. - Short, Horror

Payload by Jet Sanitizer - A routine plane flight hides a deadly secret 4 pages - Short, Horror

Spores by Beacher Double Creacher - A ball turret gunner finds himself trapped after his bomber encounters the mysterious orbs known as foo fighters. - Short, Horror


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Revision History (4 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  June 18th, 2019, 9:50am
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Warren
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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Unbelievably fast as always! Thanks, Don and Sean.


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ReneC
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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Don, you're a machine, man. Less than ten minutes after the deadline and I see the scripts already loading up. I raise my glass to you.


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Zack
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:11pm Report to Moderator
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You're a monster, Don.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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ReneC
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:15pm Report to Moderator
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18...I really thought there would be fewer!


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stevie
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:17pm Report to Moderator
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You guys are deadset legends



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
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Don, as usual, unbelievably good work. The links are all good, so everyone should be all set there. =)


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stevie
Posted: June 17th, 2019, 11:33pm Report to Moderator
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I know how tough this challenge was and I vowed not to be harsh on the other entries if warranted. But Iíve read a few already and in some the hand sanitizer is only barely a part of the story lol    But I will be gentle!

Hmm I never knew HS was flammable

Just recalled that when trekking in Nepal in 2017, the guides had small bottles of HS we would use when we had lunch or after a toilet break lol, as you couldnít wash your hands at most places



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Don
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 12:00am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Don, as usual, unbelievably good work. The links are all good, so everyone should be all set there. =)


Sean,

Thanks for the validation. Little bumpy this time.  I think I've got it sorted.  Waiting on one more vote for Round 2 and I'm ready to post the standing.

Don


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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from stevie
I know how tough this challenge was and I vowed not to be harsh on the other entries if warranted. But Iíve read a few already and in some the hand sanitizer is only barely a part of the story lol    But I will be gentle!

Hmm I never knew HS was flammable

Just recalled that when trekking in Nepal in 2017, the guides had small bottles of HS we would use when we had lunch or after a toilet break lol, as you couldnít wash your hands at most places



No need to be gentle. Almost all the ones I've read didn't have a hand sanitiser in the story at all. They may have called it hand sanitiser, but there's been pure ethanol, and the recurring theme of anti-spore, which is the very thing it doesn't do.

I gave 100% genre last round, this round so far only 2 of 8 I've read have met the criteria.
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LC
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 1:21am Report to Moderator
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But Rick, was there a label marked Sanitizer on the bottle?  
...

I'm not convinced Sanitizer alone can combust as well as most people think. It needs another element, in this case static electricity.

https://www.livescience.com/27240-girl-catches-fire.html



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stevie
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Just needs a bottle of HS in it for me but it must serve a purpose in the story    A couple have merely thrown one for the sake of the criteria



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Warren
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 2:17am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films



No need to be gentle. Almost all the ones I've read didn't have a hand sanitiser in the story at all. They may have called it hand sanitiser, but there's been pure ethanol, and the recurring theme of anti-spore, which is the very thing it doesn't do.

I gave 100% genre last round, this round so far only 2 of 8 I've read have met the criteria.


Brutal, you obviously feel like you've nailed the criteria, or I imagine you'd be slightly more forgiving.




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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from Warren


Brutal, you obviously feel like you've nailed the criteria, or I imagine you'd be slightly more forgiving.




The situations improved, tbf. I think I must have just hit the dodgy ones all in a row.
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Matthew Taylor
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only 2 dropouts - don't get me wrong, is good people are staying in, but I thought I was in for an easier reading week lol


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Scar Tissue Films
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Read them all.   A good batch, especially considering how difficult everyone was finding it.

I've got my scores on a .txt file, but I think I'll let things germinate and decide on what really constitutes meeting the criteria, or not.

Is Horror Comedy allowed?
Is it enough to have the sanitiser,or does it have to be relatively realistic in it's use?
There are degrees of probability here with the flammability in some stories.
There are some stories that use it for the impossible, like killing spores, but the sanitiser is there. Is that enough?

What are everyone's lines in the sand? I'm open to persuasion on it all...
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Warren
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I don't think people realise just how varied hand sanitizer can be.

https://www.britannica.com/topic/hand-sanitizer

Not the same article I put up last time, and worth a read. You might learn something.


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Warren
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Read them all.   A good batch, especially considering how difficult everyone was finding it.

I've got my scores on a .txt file, but I think I'll let things germinate and decide on what really constitutes meeting the criteria, or not.

Is Horror Comedy allowed?
Is it enough to have the sanitiser,or does it have to be relatively realistic in it's use?
There's degrees of probability here with the flammability in some stories.
There are some stories that use it for the impossible, like killing spores, but the sanitiser is there?

What are everyone's lines in the sand? I'm open to persuasion on it all...


Read the article I posted, it talks about concentration levels, viscosity, and other properties that people seem to be questioning.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:11am Report to Moderator
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I read it before.


You don't get 95% ethanol hand sanitiser in planes, though, Warren.

Precisely to stop anyone doing what people are doing in the stories...
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Warren
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I read it before.


You don't get 95% ethanol hand sanitiser in planes, though, Warren.

Precisely to stop anyone doing what people are doing in the stories...


It's funny that in previous horror challenges people have picked my up for questioning logic. And now it's coming down to percentages of hand sanitizer haha.



Revision History (1 edits)
Warren  -  June 18th, 2019, 6:40am
Edited, I was being a dick
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stevie
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Nope horror comedy not allowed at all



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Scar Tissue Films
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I started a discussion. I could have just put the scores in.

So you think logic is important?
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AnthonyCawood
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I think some leeway on logic is always allowed, it's fiction after all, here given the relatively unusual object, then I intend to be flexible with my views on its use.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Warren
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:25am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I started a discussion. I could have just put the scores in.

So you think logic is important?


I have always thought logic was important.

I'm just making an observervation, that in general, with horror contests people are happy to let logic slide. I've never been one of them.

But now it's coming down to specific properties of something that generally meets the requirements.

Just an observation.


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stevie
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:34am Report to Moderator
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Itís horror so logic isnít really important as you have some supernatural stuff going on

If you mean do normal things have to keep logical then sure.  But weird creatures are fine.



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Warren
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Quoted from stevie
Itís horror so logic isnít really important as you have some supernatural stuff going on

If you mean do normal things have to keep logical then sure.  But weird creatures are fine.


Okay, I'll buy that.


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stevie
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Iíve read them all but not put all the reviews up yet.   They will all get a Y for criteria from me. This was tough.  Most of the ones Iíve read are better than any from Rd 2 so well done to all who whacked one in.



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jayrex
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:52am Report to Moderator
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It's not drama.  Horror tends to be illogical most of the time.  I'll be lenient.


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Scar Tissue Films
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Yeah, I'm inclined to agree.

The criteria said use a hand sanitiser. Logic issues are part of the story category.

Some of you can breathe a sigh of relief.
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Warren
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In saying that. I don't think any two people review things in the same way (as we all know). Got to do what's right for you.

As has been said before, the cream always seems to rise to the top regardless.

We can't all agree on everything, that would just be too boring

I think the people that shoehorned it in will tend to be more lenient, and those that feel they nailed it may not. Which in a funny way is probably fair enough. Be rewarded for doing it well and penalised for just getting it done.

I don't know. I'll start reading tomorrow and see how I feel after I've seen how people have used the criteria.

I did have a really quick scan of a few and the quality seemed really high.


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Matthew Taylor
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I just read my own entry to see if I could spot anything wrong with it in the cold light of day.
But I got bored halfway through reading it.... bugger


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FrankM
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
I just read my own entry to see if I could spot anything wrong with it in the cold light of day.
But I got bored halfway through reading it.... bugger


Thereís just something about the woosh of a just-passed deadline that letís me spot the mistakes in my own writing.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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leitskev
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 8:03am Report to Moderator
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http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/sanitizer.html

A sanitizer is also anti-fungal. At no point does Sean's specification say that it must be "antibacterial".

But this gets to the larger point I mentioned last week, where SS writers are using harsh and even absurd reasons to say a script failed a criteria.
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LC
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Hand Sanitizer
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_sanitizer

90% alcohol rubs are more effective against viruses than most other forms of hand washing. Isopropyl alcohol will kill 99.99 percent or more of all non-spore forming bacteria in less than 30 seconds, both in the laboratory and on human skin. ... Alcohol rub sanitizers kill most bacteria, and fungi, and stop some viruses.

Have I been unfair?
I'll have to go through all my reviews and check. And I will do, and correct if so.

Btw, Hand Sanitizer is useless against some viruses like norovirus, and certain parasites. Those require good ol' soap and water and bleach and water.

The more pertinent point imho is that hand sanitizer does seem silly in some of the scenarios put forward. Very good scripts/stories and otherwise very good writing is hindered with hand sanitizer as the weapon of choice (on screen) and would likely make me laugh.



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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from leitskev
http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/sanitizer.html

A sanitizer is also anti-fungal. At no point does Sean's specification say that it must be "antibacterial".

But this gets to the larger point I mentioned last week, where SS writers are using harsh and even absurd reasons to say a script failed a criteria.


All the articles I read said they were ineffective against spores and parasite cysts.

From WIki


Quoted Text
Alcohol-based hand sanitizer works against a variety of microorganisms but not spores.


It's not a big deal...I was convinced by the majority to be more lenient, so worry not. I'll pass them all.
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Gary in Houston
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I think we all need to be a little chill when it comes to logic and horror films. Most of the successful horror films are devoid of solid logic. Theyíre meant to entertain, not provide dissertations on the chemical capabilities of a hand cleanser. If logic were necessary, movies like Childís Play, Friday the 13th, or Halloween would never get made. I would focus on whether the hand sanitizer was actually a part of the script (I.e., it wasnít just sitting on a table as a prop) and less on whether the way it was used applied sound scientific principals, because then you have to dig into the rest of the script and apply the logic. WAIT. SHE KILLED ZOMBIES BY APPLYING HAND SANITIZER ALL OVER YOUR HEAD?? FIRST OF ALL ZOMBIES DONT ACTUALLY EXIST AND IF THEY DID YOU COULDNT.... blah blah blah.

Maybe just read it for the quality of the writing and the entertainment value of the script is all Iím saying.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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FrankM
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
WAIT. SHE KILLED ZOMBIES BY APPLYING HAND SANITIZER ALL OVER YOUR HEAD?? FIRST OF ALL ZOMBIES DONT ACTUALLY EXIST AND IF THEY DID YOU COULDNT....


You mean I've been stockpiling this stuff for no reason?!


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Scar Tissue Films
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I know what you mean, but a lot depends on the style of the story. Like in a supernatural story, supernatural and non rational things can happen, but in a science fiction style story you focus more on the science (especially if the writer mentions it) or in a realistic style horror, things that aren't realistic stand out more.

It's about being consistent with whichever world you're working in.

They're are also levels of selling it.. Like a shot of a bottle saying 95% alcohol, setting up the next part where the burning happens, that kind of thing to make it seem less jarring.
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Matthew Taylor
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All this talk of what hand sanitiser can and can't do is really sucking the fun out of this round


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ReneC
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I know what you mean, but a lot depends on the style of the story. Like in a supernatural story, supernatural and non rational things can happen, but in a science fiction style story you focus more on the science (especially if the writer mentions it) or in a realistic style horror, things that aren't realistic stand out more.

It's about being consistent with whichever world you're working in.

They're are also levels of selling it.. Like a shot of a bottle saying 95% alcohol, setting up the next part where the burning happens, that kind of thing to make it seem less jarring.


All good points, but in 5 pages and 72 hours of writing, that's a feat to accomplish. Kudos to those who do, but I won't knock a script too hard if it falls short of the mark. 5 pages is really hard to squeeze such an unrealistic prop into a horror to begin with.


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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
All this talk of what hand sanitiser can and can't do is really sucking the fun out of this round


You need to drink more hand sanitiser!
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Matthew Taylor
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


You need to drink more hand sanitiser!


Probably tastes better than my homemade wine.


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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from ReneC


All good points, but in 5 pages and 72 hours of writing, that's a feat to accomplish. Kudos to those who do, but I won't knock a script too hard if it falls short of the mark. 5 pages is really hard to squeeze such an unrealistic prop into a horror to begin with.


All true. I'm just chatting in general. The logic thing regarding different genres seems to crop up a lot.
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khamanna
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I think all we have to do is to choose the fairest reader and follow his opinions on deciding whether the script satisfies the genre criteria or not.

Oh, yes, and that reader obviously should be me.

I'm getting to read the scripts. Surprisingly there are many.
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Quoted from khamanna
Oh, yes, and that reader obviously should be me.


Obviously.  


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PKCardinal
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
.

Is Horror Comedy allowed?


Not sure why horror comedy wouldn't be allowed. The requirements were horror, plane, hand sanitizer... horror comedy has horror. It's simply the addition of another genre.

Not to belabor the point... but, if someone writes a horror with a bit too much action... would it then be a horror action, and therefore unqualified?

Just my two cents.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Zack
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 1:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


Not sure why horror comedy wouldn't be allowed. The requirements were horror, plane, hand sanitizer... horror comedy has horror. It's simply the addition of another genre.

Not to belabor the point... but, if someone writes a horror with a bit too much action... would it then be a horror action, and therefore unqualified?

Just my two cents.


Good points. As long as the horror aspects are taken seriously and not treated as a joke, it should be okay. Just my opinion.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 1:16pm Report to Moderator
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Hehe, Fair enough.

Whenever I see the term "horror" on its own, it always puts me in the frame that it's a serious story with a dark tone. Horror comedy seems more at home with comedy, to me. But I accept you're right. I think after having a whole round of horror comedies in round one, I'm biased towards wanting more serious stories.
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Hehe, Fair enough.

Whenever I see the term "horror" on its own, it always puts me in the frame that it's a serious story with a dark tone. Horror comedy seems more at home with comedy, to me. But I accept you're right. I think after having a whole round of horror comedies in round one, I'm biased towards wanting more serious stories.


I agree on all accounts. I like horror comedy, but got my fill for now in round 1.

Just didn't want some poor writer to get banged on points just for adding something extra.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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ReneC
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 1:55pm Report to Moderator
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For all the naysayers about the flammability of hand sanitizer, just check YouTube. There are tons of videos of people lighting the stuff quite easily, and even using it as a fuse.


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PKCardinal
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Quoted from ReneC
For all the naysayers about the flammability of hand sanitizer, just check YouTube. There are tons of videos of people lighting the stuff quite easily, and even using it as a fuse.


There are naysayers? Hmmm. I never doubted it.

Even if I had... it's horror. And, a challenge... I'd just accept it as fact and enjoy the ride.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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leitskev
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 2:08pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Good points. As long as the horror aspects are taken seriously and not treated as a joke, it should be okay. Just my opinion.


yup
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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from ReneC
For all the naysayers about the flammability of hand sanitizer, just check YouTube. There are tons of videos of people lighting the stuff quite easily, and even using it as a fuse.


I just looked. Tbh it only convinced me how unlikely it would be to be able to use it as anything like a weapon.  

https://youtu.be/A7k7LeWQ_nI

But we're done with this.. It's taking the fun out of it. My fault. I apologise.
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leitskev
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:20pm Report to Moderator
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Because I was active here for years, then inactive for a few, I am in a position to make this observation: the writing and story-making is much, much better now than when I joined in 2011. Go back and read OWC's from that time. There were some good ones, but now there are really no awful ones. Even the stories where the concept didn't quite work, the writing is much better than it was. I know Pia has mentioned the same thing to me in the past.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:23pm Report to Moderator
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I agree, Kev. You used to get scripts that were indecipherable, whereas now all the stories are clear and typos and such are massively reduced.
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PKCardinal
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So, you guys are saying that all this writing/reviewing/talking back and forth is making a difference? Cool.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Zack
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I agree, Kev. You used to get scripts that were indecipherable, whereas now all the stories are clear and typos and such are massively reduced.


I remember when I joined back and 2006, there was some really rough stuff on these boards. Some great stuff back then, too, but the quality has definitely gone up a ton in recent years.


Quoted from PKCardinal
So, you guys are saying that all this writing/reviewing/talking back and forth is making a difference? Cool.


Everything I know about screenwriting and storytelling, I learned here on these boards. Probably never would be a writer if I hadn't stumbled across Simplyscripts when I was in detention my junior year.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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stevie
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:36pm Report to Moderator
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I joined in late 2008 I think   The pinnacle for the Owc, IMO, was the October 2010 one. There was also a great one in Feb 2011.

A lot of the vets from when I joined arenít around now and they were awesome writers



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jayrex
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:38pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Quoted from stevie
I joined in late 2008 I think   The pinnacle for the Owc, IMO, was the October 2010 one. There was also a great one in Feb 2011.

A lot of the vets from when I joined arenít around now and they were awesome writers


Those were the days.

Good times.


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leitskev
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 3:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
So, you guys are saying that all this writing/reviewing/talking back and forth is making a difference? Cool.


Maybe. The thing that really helped me, and I am just a C+ student in this talented SS class, was access to pro scripts. I don't read them any more, haven't for years...I focus on prose.

When I first started, as I was absorbing these rules, I knew it didn't make sense to turn general rules into strict ones. Like with 'ing' verbs. I don't just accept instructions without thinking about what makes sense.

Then I started reading pro scripts, good pro scripts, and I learned that literally no pro writes in accordance with some strict version of these rules. I think 20 years ago very few people could get their hands on a good pro-level spec script. Now you can. And as a result the writing is improving, even though people still end up with too-rigid understanding of "rules".

But also for whatever reason some really talented people have showed up in recent years here!

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leitskev
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Quoted from stevie
I joined in late 2008 I think   The pinnacle for the Owc, IMO, was the October 2010 one. There was also a great one in Feb 2011.

A lot of the vets from when I joined arenít around now and they were awesome writers


Absolutely. But now virtually ALL of the scripts are done well.
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FrankM
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Quoted from leitskev


Absolutely. But now virtually ALL of the scripts are done well.


Not ALL of them...


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 4:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
All this talk of what hand sanitiser can and can't do is really sucking the fun out of this round


I know right!!


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Warren
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 5:02pm Report to Moderator
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Alright, round 3 reading, diving in!


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eldave1
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Nicely written for the most part. I'd pare back the number of characters - it's already an inherently confusing set-up - the less characters the better.

Felt like I was missing an ending - what did the Orbs mean? It'a only five pages so that is a tough bar to hit - I know


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
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Quoted from eldave1
Nicely written for the most part. I'd pare back the number of characters - it's already an inherently confusing set-up - the less characters the better.

Felt like I was missing an ending - what did the Orbs mean? It'a only five pages so that is a tough bar to hit - I know

Dave, is this meant to be here, in this thread?



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Warren
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Quoted from eldave1
Nicely written for the most part. I'd pare back the number of characters - it's already an inherently confusing set-up - the less characters the better.

Felt like I was missing an ending - what did the Orbs mean? It'a only five pages so that is a tough bar to hit - I know


Excellent review of the thread, Dave :p


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Gary in Houston
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I would tell you what the orbs mean, but it would give away which script I wrote.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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If there are "orbs", I would think I may have wrote it, but I'd be referring to "large, shapely orbs".  
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from Dreamscale
If there are "orbs", I would think I may have wrote it, but I'd be referring to "large, shapely orbs".  


I think Iím offended. Am I offended? Can somebody tell me if Iím offended?


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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leitskev
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 10:39pm Report to Moderator
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You're offended. Outraged.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 18th, 2019, 10:43pm Report to Moderator
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I'm sure all or most are outraged and offended.  Sorry.

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PKCardinal
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Quoted from leitskev
You're offended. Outraged.


I knew it!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 19th, 2019, 1:42am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren


Excellent review of the thread, Dave :p




Makes it even better that it actually was 5 pages.

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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 19th, 2019, 1:52am Report to Moderator
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Is my part going to be cut?
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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from LC

Dave, is this meant to be here, in this thread?



It's supposed to be in the Spores thread. The WW2 fighter plane one... They're fighting alien orbs.

Just so you know...
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Warren
Posted: June 19th, 2019, 5:31pm Report to Moderator
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Back for another day of reviews. Let's do this.


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Warren
Posted: June 20th, 2019, 12:32am Report to Moderator
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Thatís me done for the day. Three to go. A couple of really good ones today. Iíve got to be honest, I didnít think the pool would be this strong this time round.


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leitskev
Posted: June 20th, 2019, 9:53am Report to Moderator
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I saw last week there was a new guy, Kevin S, who lamented that he wasn't connecting to anyone here. So I PM'd him and explained he needed to start reviewing. We've exchanges several messages, and he's now reviewing every script. In the past, everyone always complains about writers who get in but don't review. And I've suggested that it's sometimes a matter of leading the newb into the room a little.

No, I don't know what he wrote and he doesn't know mine. That was not part of the conversation. Just trying to help him get acclimated.
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from leitskev
I saw last week there was a new guy, Kevin S, who lamented that he wasn't connecting to anyone here. So I PM'd him and explained he needed to start reviewing. We've exchanges several messages, and he's now reviewing every script. In the past, everyone always complains about writers who get in but don't review. And I've suggested that it's sometimes a matter of leading the newb into the room a little.

No, I don't know what he wrote and he doesn't know mine. That was not part of the conversation. Just trying to help him get acclimated.


Kevin's participation stood out to me as well. Glad you pointed it out.

Nice to see.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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leitskev
Posted: June 20th, 2019, 10:54am Report to Moderator
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I don't know how many of these I'll participate in the future, PK, but I think if the goal is to get those new writers that submit to start participating, sometimes it's as simple as messaging them and getting them going.
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from leitskev
I don't know how many of these I'll participate in the future, PK, but I think if the goal is to get those new writers that submit to start participating, sometimes it's as simple as messaging them and getting them going.


I'll keep that in mind going forward and try to pick up the charge if you're not around in a particular challenge.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 12:52am Report to Moderator
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Done. I think there are 4 or 5 that are hard to separate for the top spot.

I donít think there is really a stand out this round, so I'm interested to see where the points land.

Good luck all.


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Matthew Taylor
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I'm all finished

I seem to have awarded a lot more points this round, quite a few at the top of my list with bags full of points lol

My entry however will linger somewhere near the bottom - If it scrapes into the top half it will be a miracle lol


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stevie
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 3:12pm Report to Moderator
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Is the scorecard available yet?



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Zack
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 3:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Is the scorecard available yet?


Check your Pm, Dude.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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AnthonyCawood
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Stevie - scorecard should be in your Inbox from Don, it was in the message where he announced the round 3 scripts were up...


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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stevie
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thanks Zack




Revision History (1 edits)
stevie  -  June 21st, 2019, 3:42pm
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FrankM
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Quoted from stevie
Cheers bro👍🏻👍🏻


A smidge off-topic (which means it will consume the next seven pages)... Does anybody see the emojis? I just see alphanumeric codes.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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stevie
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 3:42pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah sorry Frank my bad   I forgot this happens if I use my iPhone emojis lol



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Zack
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Quoted from FrankM


A smidge off-topic (which means it will consume the next seven pages)... Does anybody see the emojis? I just see alphanumeric codes.


I thought maybe Stevie was just having a stroke. lol


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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FrankM
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Quoted from Zack


I thought maybe Stevie was just having a stroke. lol


The codeword for that is "covfefe"


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 6:16pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Phew, glad I had a day off to catch up. My eyes are bugging out from reading all the entries (except one from last Monday). DONE!

Interesting, though. There are two entries that only have 12 and 13 reviews. WAY behind everyone else.

Some pretty decent entries this round. Surprised since there was so much bitching going on the day before deadline.

Zack - Pretty sure I know which one is yours. If so, diggin' your style, dude. Fun reads.
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Zack
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Quoted from JEStaats


Zack - Pretty sure I know which one is yours. If so, diggin' your style, dude. Fun reads.


Thanks, Dude. I just try to let my freak flag fly and have fun with it.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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leitskev
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 8:01pm Report to Moderator
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Finished. Re-read a few that I needed to go back to as well.

Only 3 stood out for me. No home runs, but 3 that had a good combo of strengths.
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LC
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I notice the Round 3 scoresheet has no DNS category this time around so even with my own entry it gives Y or N criteria-met option and scores of 1 for each category. One point for each sub category regardless of clicking Y or N.

I've read and reviewed all anyway but what does this mean for our own entries when we're not scoring them??





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FrankM
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Quoted from LC
I notice the Round 3 scoresheet has no DNS category this time around so even with my own entry it gives Y or N criteria-met option and scores of 1 for each category. One point for each sub category regardless of clicking Y or N.

I've read and reviewed all anyway but what does this mean for our own entries when we're not scoring them??


Don said that his sheet will systematically exclude your score from own average.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
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You're right Frank and I should have remembered that.

There's still no DNS for entries not read and reviewed by some though.
I suppose they just get 1s across the board.


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Warren
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 9:54pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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Anyone spoken to Sean?


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FrankM
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 10:09pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



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Quoted from LC
You're right Frank and I should have remembered that.

There's still no DNS for entries not read and reviewed by some though.
I suppose they just get 1s across the board.


I have four I haven't read yet. Pretty confident I can finish them by Monday, then for the commenting.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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leitskev
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 2:26pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Ok, it's that time again. Where is the link to the voting for round 3?
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Zack
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group


Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from leitskev
Ok, it's that time again. Where is the link to the voting for round 3?


Should be in the last pm Don sent ya. If not, let me know and I'll send you a link.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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