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I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.
When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.
MBCgirl =) My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
I just want to say that I truly enjoyed your writing in this scene. To me it was more than just a save, it was a fierce scene with the elements lifting themselves up-- literally! The water rushing up! I loved it!
Your depiction also of showing one individual, Shaivas, having more than one aspect and being different reflects the idea of Shiva having all his/her different aspects, one, being Rudra.
Also, we don't know where Piscivorus is and this is fascinating.
I really enjoyed it. I just wish Innocence hadn't gone out this unceremoniously. I don't feel like she got her "bookend" at all.
I was hoping that Innocence fought more to try and "save" Cordelia and that Cordelia didn't want "saving". She wasn't the little girl everyone had seen or even the one she played. I felt that this was a woman who was enjoying being a child again.
These discussions serve a great purpose because we are all trying to "mind meld" and it's not easy. It's really hard.
I had a hard time with Colin's death because he was the voice over in the beginning of the story. That's why I went into the dream sequence with Piscivorus asking why.
I took a lead I had from George when he said once, (and this is just a paraphrase) lay it out in the open and it's over with. Don't try and hide it or dismiss the fact.
This held a lot of meaning for me. It made/makes sense to me.
So with this in mind, I built the dream scene with Piscivours asking "why". And Wolf going "Oh, no! Not this again" sort of thing.
It's absolutely true that this can be labeled as backstory. But dreams aren't linear. They can be backwards, forwards and completely disjointed... That makes it safe from that standpoint, but I'm not trying to play it safe or I would have written a "safer" dream scene.
We are "somewhere" in the script now. Even if we've got troubles with time and location and pacing, the last scene proves how quickly things can become extremely solid.
Pacing is a delicate issue. There's an art to that in and of itself.
I think we need to design character "checkpoints" -- a story board idea-- to help so that we truly do give the characters their appropriate bookends.
You are both right, I never thought about it like that until now. I probably should apologise, It was hard enough to try and come up with something that attempted to fit the style that the story has developed. It is so not my cup of tea, though I guess that is a good thing and one of the aims of this exercise. But I will admit I could have thought more about the characters.
To be fair though I did have to kill two people from the four I had left, Cordelia seemed too important to kill off and Piscavorus is just getting interesting so my hands were fairly tied there, but in hindsight maybe Innocence deserved a more noble death.
GM...I still think you did a wonderful job of bringing us back into the story and developing it. I agree with both Sandra and Reaper with regard to Innocence...especially when it came to Cordelia. She was very protective throughout of Cordelia and I think she wouldn't have given up without a fight...but it's a little hard to overcome strong wind and character's with the kind of power that was displayed in GM's scene.
Something that didn't mesh for me was how Cordelia had not wanted to have Piscivours get in the vehicle with them...she was strongly against that...and yet now she herself is a part of the snake culture/Rudra...but I did like the aspect of her taking her rightful seat...the story plot is definitely thickening and coming to a head
It is true that it is hard to grasp all the aspects of this exercise and bring all of it into play.
As Sandra mentioned...dreams are not linear and she has provided a lot of food for thought that can be written about. I'm holding my breath as I wish that Sam could make it to the end - because my brain has been working overtime on the ending and I have an exciting end that would shock and delight many (am I allowed to say that?? lol ) and a strong dream scene is enormously needed from our girl Sandra.
However...as Cornetto has mentioned numerous times...only he knows the true aspect of SHIVA.
I am excited to see where this goes in the next posts....ultimately taking us to the home stretch.
I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.
When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.
MBCgirl =) My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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Shiva - Discussion Part 2
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